Ello all
It's been exactly 10 days since any of us posted last and I think you'd agree, that's ten days too many. I could say it was a religious thing, I could say we were introspective and hence mute and I could even say we were all struck by a 9 day terminal illness which was cured by a batch of happy cookies. I could all say, 'quit whining and read on for the next damn post!'
SO last month, this summer's action movies all descended on India over the course of four very very hardcore weeks. I had the pleasure of watching all of them and instead of doing reviews for each I felt, the four films in question deserved nothing more than a comparative analysis.
Which means- ANOTHER LIST! Woohoo!
4. Wolverine:
All of last summer played a video game called Ultimate Alliance. At every level, witout fail, the stand out beat down character was Wolverine. Catchphrases, cool moments and an amazing array of powers. We were freaking psyched. Most of you know how that turned out.
The action was lame, the storyline was lamer, the delivery of catchphrases worse. The acting was ordinary at best and the only thing that really surprised me about the movie was that it wasn't directed by McG. Shameful waste of a character. Shameful waste of our time.
2/10 (For the two minutes of Ryan Reynolds)
3. Terminator: Salvation
As soon as this movie was done, and indeed for a good few hours after it, I hated it. Barely any plotline, barely any notable acting, and loopholes all over the place. But since then, I've started thinking about it, and perhaps it's the fact that I have Wolverine for reference, but you know what? Terminator was a pretty bad ass movie. Screw the plotline and screw the loopholes. I haven't seen action like that since the Matrix trilogy (Remember the third one and you'll see where I'm coming from). Ruthless, non stop, create-and-destroy-the-elaborate-set-leaving-a-mess action. Punching someone's heart out, robot bikes coming out of robot shins- that is freaking sweet. In fact given a choice, I'd do it all over again.
7/10
2. Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen
This one just barely pips Terminator and that's only because any kid with a TV in the 90s grew up loving and admiring Optimus Prime and to see him become as hardcore ass whopping as he was in this movie was a total freaking treat. I think the best description (only) for this movie would be as a Hindi Movie. Michael Bay probably won't be allowed any more sequels but that's alright. He was upto his usual sweeping shots-acoustic strumming-emotional send off self. The non fight scenes were long and dreary and after a while really quite irritating. Megan Fox is officially the first Hollywood Item girl. All she needed was a dance troupe and we'd have the greatest ever Hindi Movie.
Shia LeBouf was decent enough and the mum was pretty funny, but the two nigga-bots stole the show. There was a line from them which really summed up this movie experience for me:
-"Ah MAN! That Hurt!"
-"It's supposed to! it's an Ass Whooping!"
7/10 (If I was single perhaps Megan Fox could've earned two more points.)
1. Star Trek
I've been petrified to review this one. I wanted to, but man. Suffice it to say, for the uninitiated, JJ Abrams has a new sign outside his office- 'THE MAN'.
A watertight plotline, flawless casting, super duper send me to Pluter special effects, and more than anything else one of the most perfect scripts I've ever noticed. By far the movie of the year so far (And we've even had freaking Hangover).
If I go any further with this review it'll turn into a puff peice so I won't. Let me just say this- when I have kids, I will proudly, even smugly tell them, that I was there when JJ Abrams gave the world Star Trek.
9/10 (1 point of for ending. Not the ending, just the movie ever ending. Like the end of an Ice Cream cone- Yea yea enjoy what you had but I WANT FREAKING MORE!!)
So a month of very 80s very hard hitting action. And the best part is, GI Joe isn't out yet!
I just got goosebumps.
Dum dum Duh duh dum!
It's been exactly 10 days since any of us posted last and I think you'd agree, that's ten days too many. I could say it was a religious thing, I could say we were introspective and hence mute and I could even say we were all struck by a 9 day terminal illness which was cured by a batch of happy cookies. I could all say, 'quit whining and read on for the next damn post!'
SO last month, this summer's action movies all descended on India over the course of four very very hardcore weeks. I had the pleasure of watching all of them and instead of doing reviews for each I felt, the four films in question deserved nothing more than a comparative analysis.
Which means- ANOTHER LIST! Woohoo!
4. Wolverine:
All of last summer played a video game called Ultimate Alliance. At every level, witout fail, the stand out beat down character was Wolverine. Catchphrases, cool moments and an amazing array of powers. We were freaking psyched. Most of you know how that turned out.
The action was lame, the storyline was lamer, the delivery of catchphrases worse. The acting was ordinary at best and the only thing that really surprised me about the movie was that it wasn't directed by McG. Shameful waste of a character. Shameful waste of our time.
2/10 (For the two minutes of Ryan Reynolds)
3. Terminator: Salvation
As soon as this movie was done, and indeed for a good few hours after it, I hated it. Barely any plotline, barely any notable acting, and loopholes all over the place. But since then, I've started thinking about it, and perhaps it's the fact that I have Wolverine for reference, but you know what? Terminator was a pretty bad ass movie. Screw the plotline and screw the loopholes. I haven't seen action like that since the Matrix trilogy (Remember the third one and you'll see where I'm coming from). Ruthless, non stop, create-and-destroy-the-elaborate-set-leaving-a-mess action. Punching someone's heart out, robot bikes coming out of robot shins- that is freaking sweet. In fact given a choice, I'd do it all over again.
7/10
2. Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen
This one just barely pips Terminator and that's only because any kid with a TV in the 90s grew up loving and admiring Optimus Prime and to see him become as hardcore ass whopping as he was in this movie was a total freaking treat. I think the best description (only) for this movie would be as a Hindi Movie. Michael Bay probably won't be allowed any more sequels but that's alright. He was upto his usual sweeping shots-acoustic strumming-emotional send off self. The non fight scenes were long and dreary and after a while really quite irritating. Megan Fox is officially the first Hollywood Item girl. All she needed was a dance troupe and we'd have the greatest ever Hindi Movie.
Shia LeBouf was decent enough and the mum was pretty funny, but the two nigga-bots stole the show. There was a line from them which really summed up this movie experience for me:
-"Ah MAN! That Hurt!"
-"It's supposed to! it's an Ass Whooping!"
7/10 (If I was single perhaps Megan Fox could've earned two more points.)
1. Star Trek
I've been petrified to review this one. I wanted to, but man. Suffice it to say, for the uninitiated, JJ Abrams has a new sign outside his office- 'THE MAN'.
A watertight plotline, flawless casting, super duper send me to Pluter special effects, and more than anything else one of the most perfect scripts I've ever noticed. By far the movie of the year so far (And we've even had freaking Hangover).
If I go any further with this review it'll turn into a puff peice so I won't. Let me just say this- when I have kids, I will proudly, even smugly tell them, that I was there when JJ Abrams gave the world Star Trek.
9/10 (1 point of for ending. Not the ending, just the movie ever ending. Like the end of an Ice Cream cone- Yea yea enjoy what you had but I WANT FREAKING MORE!!)
So a month of very 80s very hard hitting action. And the best part is, GI Joe isn't out yet!
I just got goosebumps.
Dum dum Duh duh dum!
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