We the Write stuff.

The Republic of Sachin

2011-04-07T03:36:00.005+05:30

Im not a cricket fan. I know the sport, because I'm an Indian. You cannot call yourself an Indian if you dont know the game. It's in our blood. But like me, there are some who are allowed to find the sport tedious. Oh so tedious. But being a continent away from home, the city that houses Sachin Tendulkar, stirs up a passion in the sport you'd otherwise ignore. To break it down: Living in the UK has taught me many things about myself, but most of all, it taught me a love of cricket and an understanding to why it's my nation's passion and in its prayers. The morning of the final, my significant other's heavy metal alarm started ringing at an hour where light hadnt really made an appearance. For a change, he put it off himself, and frantically started typing on his iPhone. Instead of kicking him, telling him to go to sleep or just flat-out ignoring him, I found myself asking, from the sincerest part of my half-asleep brain, "Who won the toss?" It didnt occur to me that he could have been checking something else. It was day of the final. And it was being played in our home. He couldnt have been checking anything else. It didnt even occur to me that cricket is not normally something that would emerge from my almost-unconscious. This game was more to me than just a World Cup. The passion of the sport exuded enough energy to tie me back to home. London has many virtues and I love it with all my heart. But it comes nowhere close to the energy of India, something that makes me wilt on even the most perfect of London days. When we stepped out of the house, it was one of those most perfect of London days - where people wriggle their shoulders in the sunshine, the daffodils are dancing, and scores of Indian students are grinning all over the streets, the colours of the flag painted on their faces. We found ourselves in a basement bar, where the flag emblazoned the walls as well as the faces of strangers+friends who like us, had come to spend a good many hours alternating between pumping our fists and swearing. We spoke to friends. We laughed at the Sri Lankans. We drank Coke. We drank beer. We painted our faces. We checked out the opposite sex. We laughed at the ads. We cheered. We cursed. And all of us, all the time, prayed that we would win. For Sachin, for his last World Cup. I dont believe in religion, but I do believe in Sachin. His name means pure. He is our national treasure, the cleanest one we own. If you belong to India, you belong to the Republic of Sachin. It's that simple. When we won, and my significant other lifted me up, I laughed at him from the air, from a blurry haze of blissful faces. As I twirled air-fully in his arms, I felt the burdens of bad news from home, the job market and the looming dissertation leaving my shoulders. Just for today, I would let it go. As Sachin was carried around the pitch, we all stood and bellowed the national anthem. It will forever be the kind of miracle you'd never be able to comprehend. Most of us had been born&brought up abroad, with international schooling under our belt. We hadnt been forcefed the national anthem from birth. We barely KNEW the national anthem. We could hum it, yes. Sing it, probably not so well. But somehow, from this yearning, patriotic and homesick part of us, the beautiful song came to our lips, and we sang loudly; strong in our heartfelt victory for our country. That night, as we watched from my significant others window, fireworks lit the sky above my beautiful friend, the River Thames. We were sending a message to home, us Indians a continent away. We were sending our painful regret at not being there, and a heartfelt joy&relief acknowledgment, that no-one, could be as happy as the billions of Indians scattered across the planet at that moment. Indians of the Republic of Sachin slept well that night. If they slept at all.

Jazz, John & Collectors Records.

2010-12-11T01:27:00.005+05:30

Some months ago, I found myself in a personal slump. One of those unfortunate situations where nothing was really going wrong, but nothing was really going right either. So I walked the streets of Kingston, chainsmoking and desperately looking for some kind of answer. Clarity falling from the skies would have been greatly appreciated. Instead, I found myself staring at a poster for London Jazz Festival month. A beautiful festival that would begin at my local theatre with a John Etheridge showcase in a few days time. These were all signs. What else could it be?

So I clutched at this straw. Jazz would save me, like it had so many times before. I considered going alone, but the more I heard about the magic that was Etheridge, the more I realised that would be selfish. So I took my oldest friend and my newest friend, the latter who would soon become my significant other i.e. if we ever fight, I will blame Etheridge.

There three of us stood, in the rain, waiting for it to start - The Jazz Geek (me), The Metal Head (The New Friend - TNF) and The I-Love-Music-So-As-Long-As-I-Have-A-Good-Time-It's-Cool-Person (The Old Friend - TOF). I spent a few moments worrying about the grief I'd have to suffer if they both hated it, but before I could really do or say anything about it, we were sprawled on wooden steps, waiting for it to start.

I was right. Etheridge saved me. As soon as he started with a cover of Miles Davis' classic "Doxy", I felt waves of uncertainty and the burdens of personal disaster leaving my shoulders. Clarity crept into my freezing toes, and for the first time in weeks, I didnt worry or wonder about "what-if's" and "whys and wheres".

After a few songs had been performed, I ventured hesitant peeks at TNF & TOF sitting next to me, and I breathed even easier. TNF sat in silent concentration, enjoyment and understanding washing over the planes of his face with an occasional comment about how beautiful Etheridge's guitars were. TOF spent the entire evening whispering "Thats amazing, did you hear what he just did?" over and over again.

Im not saying that Etheridge saved me to the extent that my slump was resolved overnight. But his music and his humour cleared my head and replaced hyperventilation with steady breaths. A few days later I found myself calm enough to resolve my slump on my own, and I endured the loss by purchasing "Doxy" as a single and driving my flatmates crazy by keeping it on repeat for days.

When I started growing immune to the powers of "Doxy", again I found myself walking the streets of Kingston. This time with a friend who had uncovered secrets of Kingston streets that he was more than willing to share with me. So in the bitter cold, down lanes and through alleys, we walked.

And reached Collector's Records. I've been in love before. With friends, with men, with books, with albums. This is the first time I've fallen in love with a store. Records in racks and shelves and turntables to play them on before you decide to own them. We stayed till almost-closing time, discovering, exclaiming and placing on turntables. I left with Billy Joel, Simon & Garfunkel and more, tucked under my arm, beautifully preserved in their original vinyl selves - the second best thing to owning them as people, in my opinion. And they cost me less than a pack of cigarettes would have.

It comes to no surprise to anyone, that my dissertation has music at its core. I came to London for inspiration and the simplicity of yayness, and I found it. In music. In jazz, my eternal saviour. In shelves of dusty records, that smell oddly like my father. In genres of music, Id always shunned but am now growing a grudging respect for, because my significant other plays it all the time, and after days of plugging my ears, I actually started to listen.

I also realised, my experience with Etheridge, in no way applies solely to jazz. Music will always save you, as long as youre vulnerable enough to let it. Its the reason most people have internal soundtracks to&for their lives, why people listen to mood-appropriate music. We discover meaning and answers in the words and music, and adjust it to our needs. We leave our own personal imprint on the music we listen to.

I may be immune to the powers of Doxy by now (thanks to my own excessive listening), but I'll always remember it as the song that healed me. Even years later if I find it in pristine vinyl on a dusty shelf in a dingily beautiful record store.

Note: WetheWriters to YoutheReaders: Happy 2011 and whatnot.

my book, your book, our book.

2010-10-06T14:38:00.003+05:30

My favourite part of London is how almost everyday is a burst of bibliomaniac joy.

Its the small stuff, like having manic 10 hour classes, and running home to grab a few hours of shut-eye before another class at 8pm, only to be kept awake by doors slamming and loud laughing from the kitchen, only to slam my door open to lose my temper at whomever I see first, to find that a flatmate has wedged a whole pile of packages from Amazon under my door. For me, me, me.

Its the big stuff, like trudging sleepily in the rain in my pajama's to get some coffee, only to find my tattered copy of "Howl" that I'd given up tearfully for lost, placed next to the coffee machine, with a post-it saying, "I dont know which building you're in, but I see you hovering around here all the time, so I thought this would be the best place to return it. I hope you actually find this, and if you're not you, then sod off, this doesn't belong to you"

And then its the truly perfect stuff, like becoming an accidental and active participant of BookCrossing.

I'd heard of BookCrossing in one of my first Publishing classes, where 60-odd book geeks including myself, gathered to talk about how reading is a community - a dying community in some respects, but for those who love to read, an exciting community nonetheless.

BookCrossing, essentially, is the "the practice of leaving a book in a public place to be picked up and read by others, who then do likewise." I thought it was the most beautiful thing I'd ever heard of, and it gave me, and the other people sitting around me, goosebumps just thinking about it. We all told our professor, that it sounded almost too good to be true, and it was probably just one of those things, like the Tooth Fairy, who you truly believe is real, just because you want to believe it, when deepdown, you know its a parent who is the real Tooth Fairy. She nodded wisely, and said, "Wait and see, you won't see it coming"

And then, a few days ago, I got onto a bus and sat on a book. I hardly ever do this, since books are my personal God and religion, and well, you don't normally sit on your God. When I got up, it was a much worn copy of "The Yellow-Lighted Bookshop", which is one of those books you've always thought you should read, but it was either out of stock, or too expensive, and along the journey of all the other books you've wanted painfully, you sort of pushed it at the back of your mind. On the book, was a note stapled to the cover, "Read this and pass it on" and on the title page, were the initials of all the people who'd read it and the dates they'd found it.

I forgot I had a tottering pile of textbooks to wade through by the next day, forgot that I had groceries to buy, food to cook, laundry to do, trash to take out. I forgot social commitments and Skype dates. I forgot that it was raining and that my heater wasn't working and I was, to put it mildly, freezing. I forgot about Stoner Sam and his Stonery Sammy ways. I had been crossed with a book and nothing else mattered.

I passed it on last night. I left it on a table at the cafe I usually frequent. Before I left, the proprietor grinned at me and said, "You've picked prime property there, honey. That book knows that table well"

That book, knows more people and places than I do. And Im grateful I got to know it, and that it has KM 4-10-2010 permanently embedded in its pages.

Note: A very Appy Birday to the old man of the blog, Harry from WetheUs and well, everyone who reads us etc.

It's a Bird Day!

2010-07-15T10:47:00.001+05:30

Ello All

It's Tejas' Birthday. Wooptedoo dah. Wish him or kiss him.

Sigh! Why art thou so?

2010-04-17T09:44:00.008+05:30

Yesterday was a bad day. A surreal experience for me, since I had one of those moments where Art somewhat saved me. A bit. It was a perfect marriage of the emotions I had, and the emotions I felt after experiencing the art.
I lost my phone yesterday.
This is the second time in 9 months, I think. I have recently lost my kickass iPod that my sister gifted me, which had tremendous sentimental value, my nephew's mp3 player and my mom's flash drive. Yes, I'm an idiot and no this is not for sympathy. This is about the connection of art and how it manages to dig in to you, through all the clutter and crap you may have inside you and still carve a small nichè for itself amongst all the baggage you carry.

Yesterday I re-read a series that I had stopped through halfway a while ago, and had not managed to complete it. It happened like this. I lost my phone in the morning, moped for a while, then went to landmark by 1 pm and sat there reading for a good 7 hours. There is something liberating about being cut-off from the rest of the world. In my state of mind, it almost felt good, that I could escape having to tell people how dumb I felt because I lost my phone, ironically because there was no way to tell them. I did not even have the strength to feel sorry for myself or just plainly ask 'Why?'

Thus I sat and read Y: The Last Man.

Y is about Yorick Brown (and his capuchin Ampersand) the only man to survive a plague that strikes all the Y-chromosome carrying mammals(namely all males) around the world simultaneously, killing them instantly. Whats left is broken infrastructres, plane crashes, food shortages, and a whole lot of women. How Yorick survives these conditions plus a bunch of crazy chicks who are either trying to sleep with him or kill him forms the rest of the story. Needless to say a story as epic as this, has to be thought out well and thought out well is exactly what it is. In 60 issues Brian K. Vaughn manages to tell the story at a decent pace, progressing with the plot while still holding the attention of the reader. Obviously it is filled with great allegory, and social commentary but is undoubtedly and ironically going to be viewed as masogynistic and yes, chauvinistic. However Vaughn bypasses all that and continues with his story about the last man trying to reunite with his girlfriend in Australia.

But Yorick- the average everyman, still seeking his true love not knowing whether she's alive or dead, and a huge responsibility on his shoulder is someone I could definitely identify with at that moment. No, I am not the last man on earth, but at that point of shame, I wished I could just be alone, or run away. It probably sounds highly dramatic, but that my friends, is the power of art! In 7 hours I immersed myself in Y and questioned myself as he did, that is reclusiveness what we really want? or is it really the complete opposite? Maybe we just want to be accepted no matter what we do, and while that would be great, it is not fair at all to shy away from the responsibilities that each of us possess. Alas, Poor Yorick, I knew him!

Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him, Horatio; a fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy; he hath borne me on his back a thousand times; and now, how abhorred in my imagination it is! - (Hamlet, V.i)

I keep giving this one example of how I always listen to Billy Joel before an audition, or before facing any 'music'. Why? Because for some reason hearing his voice is the equivalent of having someone older or someone I trust saying to me "It's alright Tejas. Just get in there and do your best and know I'm right behind you". Very Uncle Ben.
Sigh.
Uncle Ben, why do I miss him so much?

Comic back to the point. The marriage of art and the person who experiences it, is a very personal moment. It's like family, literally. Because every person has their own experience when they are in contact with the art. I cannot expect anyone to have the same feelings or emotions I did when I read it, it is probably not going to happen. But maybe you will have it with something else, maybe a great album, or a great painting, when you are at another emotional level. And it'll cause you so much pain or joy or emotions you can't even describe. It's truly awesome.

That my friends is the power of art!

Goodbye, Jennifer Crusie.

2010-04-13T21:21:00.005+05:30

I’m a sucker for chick lit, as Ive mentioned before. But there is one author, who deserves far more than the slightly condescending tag of “Oh her? She just writes chick-lit.” Jennifer Crusie is one of the smarter, and funnier authors on my bookshelves. And well, I have a lot of books on a lot of bookshelves, so you really have to believe me.

The first Crusie book I picked up was “Faking it”, and to my eternal shame, the only reason I bought it was because the cover was incredible. I read it much later, and couldn’t believe I’d let this book simmer on my shelves untouched. Its been 6-7 years since I first read it, and it is still one of the most influential books in my life. It taught me more about relationships, about music and about art than most of the “serious fiction” on my shelves. I adopted many theories put forth in the book as my own, and one idea especially, I repeat in my head on a regular basis, especially when I know I'm going to be doing something I really shouldn’t be doing : "If you can’t be a good example, you’ll just have to be a horrible warning." So before I do anything terrible, I always ask myself if I really want to be a horrible warning. So yes, Gwen Goodnight, one of the books many protagonists, really did give me more sense than I give myself credit for.

After that, my search for Crusie has never ceased. For some reason, she isn’t readily available in most mainstream bookstores, and most people have to resort to Amazon to get her into their lives. I am not an Amazon fan myself, and instead, happily settle for the great and irreplaceable high you get when you find a much-loved author in random places i.e the last few times I found her was in the Cochin airport bookshop hidden behind Orhan Pamuk and in a cardboard carton on a Dubai street.

The best part about Crusie, is that none of her heroines are very physically attractive. So, you relate to them, and you love them unconditionally, instead of being slightly in awe and a little resentful. Some of them are overweight, some have mad hair and glasses, and they like to eat, they like to drink, they have bad tempers and are blessedly human and as far from perfect as you can get. They become your best friends and you actually listen to what they have to say. Instead of having incredible bodies, swishy hair and perfect skin, they have a sense of humour and intelligence that is approachable, not overwhelming.

The second best thing about Crusie will only be visible to the loyalists who have read more than one of her books. She hides symbols, signs and messages, (cherries, dove bars and I'm not going to reveal anymore) in almost all her books that make you feel connected to her and her mind. You’ll read it and you’ll know instantly that it’s a Crusie book and you like you’re part of a closely knit circle of warmth and humour; like you’re part of a secret club where everyone understands and knows you.

I have recently waded my way through all of Crusie’s books, and “Faking it” is still my favourite, followed closely by its prequel (yes, I read it backwards, I didn’t know at the time), “Welcome to Temptation.” The best thing about finally going through all of Crusie, is the blissful yayness she provided. The worst thing about finally going through all of her, is that now I’m done. I’ll never again feel that almost unbearable joy finding her in strange places, and I’ll never again feel that agonizing restlessness to open a Crusie book I haven’t read before. I lingered over the last book, reading the same page twice or thrice, knowing painfully, that this was it, and once I finished this, there’d be no more – especially since Crusie has publicly announced that she’s stopping her romances, and she’s only doing collaborations now. I’ve read one of her collaboration, and its lacking the Crusie spark, diluted as it is by someone else’s words alongside hers.

It’s a strange sort of grief, knowing that my relationship with a person Ive never met has reached its end. She always made me laugh when I thought I never would again, she was the woman who introduced me to Dusty Springfield oh-so many years ago, the one who taught me the difference between muffins, donuts and men, who proved over and over again that personality trumps the physical any day, and how important it is to be able to laugh at life, and at yourself.

Goodbye, Jennifer Crusie. My bookshelves and my life are more memorable and far more worthwhile, having known you.

“When Eve ate the apple/Her knowledge increased/But God liked dumb women/So Paradise ceased” – Jennifer Crusie/Gwen Goodnight in Faking it.

Note: WeTheWriters would like to apologise muchly for the lack of updates on this blog. We have been very busy being very busy, and while I'm sure that's not a good enough excuse, we'd like to think it is. And we are mostest and muchlest sorry and all that.

Clouds in my Coffee: How Carly & Dusty Saved My Soul

2010-02-17T18:17:00.004+05:30

I have mentioned before that I can't sing to save my life. This isn't entirely true. I can't sing like Tejas can, or like Harry can. I can't sing like Norah Jones or KT Tunstall. I can't sing for other people, I can't sing to play the fool into karaoke machines. But I can sing, when I really really need to, when it seems like the right thing to do, and when my voice chooses to ignore my brain telling it that it's a terrible voice and not to humiliate me.

Carly Simon and Dusty Springfield have/had voices and wrote music that most current female artists can only dream of having/writing. When they sing, the emotion and the rawness, blares through and heals wounds, and you know, that if you have emotion and rawness, and wounds that need to be healed, then you can sing too. These women are/were brave, are/were independent, are/were magic from the moment they opened their mouths. Their music is/was the kind of music that you can imagine old men sitting on park benches and nodding their heads wisely over, saying "They dont make voices like that anymore" And they don't. They really don't make voices like that anymore.

For the past month, I have let Carly and Dusty save my soul. Imitating Brittany Murphy in "Little Black Book", I lie on my bathroom floor and belt out Carly Simon. Im alone at home, and I sound good, because Im singing my soul out, letting the wounds heal. In my room, at night, I snuggle up to the words of Dusty, crooning her words softly to myself. I lie spreadeagled on an empty beach and sing about clouds in my coffee and the son of a preacherman, while watching the clouds above me rearrange themselves and float away, leaving me cleansed and clear.

I am now wishin' and hopin'. I have fewer clouds in my coffee. I look forward to the look of love. I have no secrets. I can tell myself that I haven't got time for the pain. I close my eyes and count to ten. And, I am anticipating, that little by little, I'll know just what to do with myself.

So, thank you, Carly & Dusty, Simon & Springfield. For giving me the strength to sing, and for letting me know that my soul is worthwhile enough to be saved by both of you.

"You know when you take the paint off an old canvas and you discover that something's been painted underneath it? That's what I feel like - that part of the old is coming through the new" - Carly Simon

"I just decided I wanted to become someone else... So I became someone else" - Dusty Springfied

Invictus: A Review

2010-01-19T19:03:00.004+05:30

Ello All

This'll be a short one again.

Invictus, for those who haven't been waiting anxiously, is the story of how Nelson Mandela asked the South African National Rugby team, the Springboks to win the 1995 Rugby World Cup.

Morgan Freeman plays Nelson Mandela. Matt Damon plays the team Captain Francois Pienaar and to round it all up, Clint Eastwood has directed it.

As you can imagine, it's hard to conceive of anything going wrong with the movie.

Fact of the matter is, not a whole lot goes right.

It's a tremendous story and the dedication to facts in set design and screenplay is phenomenal. Even the actors (In fact they are Rugby players themselves) playing Rugby legends Chester Williams and Jonah Lumu are thoroughly genuine.

But for some reason something like 90% of the films actors are either local actors or just locals. While that certainly seems like a good authentic idea, honestly, it killed the movie for me. True the accents were real and true it's a novel approach, but there was no charm, no feel and therefore just flat delivery. Fact of the matter is, while it's interesting to try 'real', on camera it just came off as even more 'fake.' A bad fake.

Even the proper actors, failed to impress me. Matt Damon, possibly trying to be a closer rendition of Pienaar was not a typical film 'team captain'. He was downplayed and quite refreshing. I must admit though, I only think he's not been roundly slated for the role because it's a true story. In terms of film roles, it's certainly not his best.

Morgan Freeman was, as he always is quite superb in delivery and charm. The problem for him, if he is hoping for an Oscar, is that I don't think the lines he was required to say were nearly good enough, even if he did say them so well. Although that's a similar problem Forest Whitaker had and well, he managed just fine.

It comes down to this. Excellent story. But the screenplay just let it down so often. Eastwood's direction did so much to help but the lines were hammy, the story didn't have anything surprising about it (Except of course for Good Luck Bocke, which was just awesome- even if it weren't true!) there was never anything to keep you going and in the end it all seemed like a hagiographic attempt at glorifying Mandela. Yes he is deserving and yes he is awesome but for God's sake get a room. Also, the end slow motion montages seemed like they just ran out of footage. And there were several small shots and camera angles which seemed so out of the blue the film lost rhythm.

Speaking of which, may I just say Kyle Eastwood is one of my favorite new music writers. If there is one thing that makes this whole movie worth it, it is the sound track. And I'll save you the trouble, he IS Clint Eastwood's son.

In a final analysis, watch it. It's a great story. But don't expect anything huge. It's not the greatest film.

So far 2010- I'm a bit disappointed.

War Profiteering

2010-01-15T11:33:00.007+05:30

I have always found a place in my life, for the music I love most. I have attached a song or an album to sometimes things as simple as a fleeting emotion, an entire book that I'd read or even an entire phase in my life. Let me state for the record that in the past few months I have heard at least 10-12 new albums, some which have been great, some not so much. But this obviously provided me and a population with a host of new material to attach our lives to. In any case I feel that’s what one of music’s most important functions should be. People do not want to listen to happy songs when they’re sad. They want to listen to sad songs when they are sad.
And how strange that this season I have been so lucky to find not hope or love or optimism. I found strength.

Battle studies is definitely one of those albums. John Mayer has surpassed himself and proven to be the best musician-singer-songwriter-guitarist of today, without any doubt whatsoever. He has effectively bridged old-fashioned blues and contemporary pop to produce an epic album, my favourite of last year. He described it as a ‘guidebook to relationships’, which could not be more true. If you are in a relationship, or just got out of one; if you have had your heart physically torn from out of your chest, and you feel helpless, if you feel trapped, or unloved or indifferent, remember not to lament. Don’t give up or give in, just be brave. Fight on.

Another album that has helped me so much was brought to my attention, c/o my homie Anish. In the last few months I have been thoroughly occupied with a crapload of work, family, choir (more about this later), and more recently, exams. This has been my first set of exams since I started this job, and I was trying hard to balance studying for the former while coping with work. So all in all, I did not study too great for these internal papers.
It is a 10 minute walk from my home to college, and in that time I always make sure I’m listening to some good music, and I thank my stars I found 30 seconds to Mars’ new album, This is War to help me get through that.
This album is the long winding battle cry of a soldier in the field that makes his fellow countrymen fight with all that they have for another 10 minutes. It is the roar of a hundred men, which puts fear in the enemy that has a thousand. It is the question of morality and futility, but ultimately is the guts to go out and face another day.
I took those emotions and attached it to my fear for the exams, and I think that while I did marginally better in the exams, I came out a much more relieved person.
The band produced the music and vocals in a studio, but then brought an entire hall of fans, to record with them on this album, which gives it huge sound. To hear a thousand people scream ‘Fight! Fight! Fight!’ is more inspiring than I can possibly explain.

To sum up, listen to these albums only if need them. They have saved me. If not, put it away for the day when you feel you do. Fight on.

P.S. - Jared Leto is awesome.

Paranormal Activity: Haunting You in Your Sleep

2010-01-10T20:51:00.002+05:30

I have never been a big fan of horror movies. Its not that I don’t enjoy them, per se, it’s just that I very rarely get scared or touched in any way when watching one. The only horror movies that have ever touched a chord in me, on a deep chilly level has been “The Exorcist” (surprise surprise) and “The Omen Trilogy”, both of which I own on DVD and have watched alone at home many a time. Since the creation of these movies, there has never been a movie that I have wanted to watch over and over again, or talk about, forget writing reviews.

I ignored the Blair Witch phenomenon. I watched the movie, sure, and while I admired the use of documentary film-making in terms of horror, I shrugged after watching the movie, and my exact words I recall was “Meh”.

However, Paranormal Activity aroused my interest for many reasons. 1) The extreme hype that surrounded it, 2) The abnormally minimal budget used to film it ($ 15,000) 3) It was being called the best horror movie of the decade. 4) The story seemed simple enough to have potential: a couple who believe they are being haunted, decide to film themselves and their home to spot any evidence of ghosts/demons.

A friend who I have always admired for his cool and calm head, lent me the DVD and warned me not to see it alone, and while I scoffed at him at the time, I'm glad I took his advice.

If you break it down into pieces (which you really shouldn’t do), analytically, the film isn’t a masterpiece. However, it does the one thing its supposed to do. It chills you. Its quiet, and theres no gore, or anything stereotypically scary but before you know it, you’re leaning back in your seat, and wondering why the heck you’re scared, because nothing has even happened. The entire film is set primarily in the couple’s bedroom, with a few minutes spent in the living room. It’s a movie based on conversation and a hand-held camera, a movie that while you say “Oh well, that wasn’t so bad”, once its done, STILL somehow has the power to keep you awake all night.

A friend and I watched the movie at 11pm, and by 12:30, it was done, and we bragged about how this was a bunch of overrated hype, and there was nothing scary about it. Then we went to bed, and managed to get sleep only at around 5am. Like the best of horror movies, there is no logic to why you should be scared. You know you aren’t possessed, you know there aren’t demons in your body, or ghouls under your bed, you also know that you’re an adult and you should really know better. Yet, like the best of horror movies, Paranormal Activity, gets you asking yourself the most creepy question of all : What if?

Sherlock Holmes: A Review

2010-01-10T14:38:00.005+05:30

Ello All,
This won't be a very long post. The film scarcely deserves a decent length review.
Don't get me wrong- it's not that the film was bad or anything. It just wasn't very good either.
I read a review some weeks ago and I decided to pay no heed to it. I am a Guy Ritchie loyalist and I will not lose faith.
And it is hard to blame the guy solely. There is some EXCELLENT action in the film and he's got some killer slow motion sequences as always but beyond that there's very little he could have done.
If I had to blame anything it'd be the script. The plot line is nice and all but better suited to a 42 minute show on TV.
The acting as well is good but there's rarely anything worth remembering. Robert Downey Jr and Jude Law have phenomenal chemistry but, end of the day, you could have put any two actors and their British accents instead and it'd be hard to tell the difference.
The only actor who comes out with any real merit for me was Mark Strong.
Generally, it was just an underwhelming experience and I do believe the script was just never worth the cast or director. Yes it's a fresh take on Holmes and indeed it is funny at times but I did not come out with anything but a shrug.
His deductions are very good and him and Watson are an excellent team and yes he's quite a character with some brilliant inventions/ observations but none of that leads to anything bigger. It's just a whole lot of foreplay.
A special mention must go the awesome score, and the awesome closing credits sequence.
This movie was meant to herald in 2010's list of bad ass releases.
I hate Madonna.

Boston Legal: Clever Clever

2010-01-08T19:51:00.007+05:30

Ello all,

Over the last few days, I have started to re-ignite certain fires I once had which had somewhat subsided. Conspiracy theories, ethics, and the long winded thoroughly idealistic pursuit of truth.

As such, seemingly unintentionally, I watched three films which have me in a 'mad' stir. The first one is Zeitgeist Addendum, the much improved follow up to Peter Joseph's first documentary. While most of what is suggested and proposed throughout the film is not entirely sound the facts and information put forth are at the absolute least overwhelming.

So I watched Good Night and Good Luck. A stunning, beautiful movie about some of the greatest journalism in modern times with just phenomenal lucidity.

Which led to the third film. I've been aching to watch it since the first Zeitgeist where we were shown clips from it and sure enough, it did not disappoint. Network, the edgy, gutsy painfully truthful film surrounding one Howard Beale. (What surprised me most, is that a film so ideological, could feature such beautiful thoughts on love.)

But what do any of these films have to do with Boston Legal?

Let me put it this way- All three films have had great critical acclaim and relatively less public appeal, therefore reinforcing that old idea that being idealistic and honest and making money do not go hand in hand.

In fact to many, me included, it always seemed like the gulf between hard hitting truth and good entertainment was too wide to bridge. So why should a television channel air facts about how horrid our world is today when they could just show you an episode of Desperate Housewives?

The people want it, they'll say. At 9 pm after a long day of work people want escapism and underwear not morality and debate.

And then Boston legal came along with the perfect balance. A quirky, funny show about lawyers and courtroom dramas that forces you to hear facts and question things. As fun and light as Ally Mcbeal and as gut wrenching as The Practise. No surprise it took the same man, David E Kelley to find the thing that'd join them so perfectly.

All three films I mentioned earlier raise the question about the responsibility of the Mass Media. About WHAT it should do WITH it's power and not how it should extend it.

And yet none of them quite utilised it's power fully. This playful drama has taken every single factor that makes television viewing exciting and used it responsibly like no other show I can think of, to get some kind of ideas out there.

I don't know statistically or otherwise what Boston Legal has achieved and I don't know whether or not it's just disguised itself intelligently. What I do know is, from the chair I'm sitting in, someone is trying and someone has found a way to make being articulate and intelligent cool again.

And even if you take away this seemingly bigger picture, the show features some of the freshest comedy on offer and has broken the fourth wall in some rather spectacular ways. Denny Crane going "Is the show over already?" Genius.

I miss the likes of George C Scott and Peter Finch. Intense, articulate actors who could shake you with a monologue.

I take great comfort in knowing the likes of James Spader are hear to lead a new line of awesome.

Norah Jones: Falling in Love with The Fall

2010-01-07T19:36:00.004+05:30

I have never been able to sing to save my life, and it is something I have made my peace with over the years. However, I whole-heartedly admire those who do sing, including Harry and Tejas and am content with being the only WeTheMember with zero vocal abilities.

One voice, in particular, I fell in love with some years ago, and I wished and hoped and prayed that her voice were mine. Despite the fact that after her debut album, much of her music has been disappointing, I stayed true to my love of her voice, her lazy croon, a voice that always made me want to curl up under covers with a book and a great sense of well-being. I stayed loyal to Norah Jones’ warm jazzy croon for 9 years, including the release of her new album, The Fall.

While I downloaded The Fall in November, somehow I never found the time to listen to it until some days ago, on a long bus ride in an attempt to mar my thoughts. Norah didn’t let me down. While her last few albums have been mediocre imitations of her debut album “Come Away With Me”, her latest album shows that YES, she is willing to experiment with her beautiful voice, and isn’t afraid to step out of her comfort zone. Instead of falling back, yet again, into her jazzy/bluesy comfort zone, Jones has now stepped into rocknroll, leaving her trusty piano behind to embrace a guitar instead.

The Fall, the result of a painful break-up, is a beautiful album that reaches out to lonely nights and heartache. Her lyrics are raw and honest, and soothe you where it hurts. Listening to this album, gives you the same comfort that a bartender gives you over many martinis. He doesn’t know you, but he exudes understanding. Norah Jones and I have never met, but in the three hours I spent with her in a bus, I knew that on some strange level, she understood.

My personal favorites in The Fall, are “Back to Manhattan”, where in her unique voice she sings, “I’ll go back to Manhattan/ It’s just a train ride away/ I know nothing ’bout leaving/ but I know I should do it today” I identified with it instantly, because if you switched Manhattan for Sharjah, and a train for a bus, that was me in a nutshell. My other favorite is “Man of the Hour”, which is Jones’ ballad to her dog, where she croons: "And though we’ll never take a shower together/I know you’ll never make me cry/You never argue/You don’t even talk/And I like the way you let me lead you when we go outside and walk/Will you really be my only man of the hour?” A song that not only made me think of Harry and the comfort he derives from his dogs (a comfort that made me jealous sometimes), it also gave me my first smile in days.

And since just recently, I listened to someone wax poetic on converting pain into art, my admiration for Norah Jones has now transcended into more than just coveting her voice. She took her pain, and her brokenness and she used it. She reinvented herself, removed herself from what was comfortable, and leaped. Even the most ardent haters of Norah Jones cant call The Fall yet another reproduction of her debut album. She took a risk, and emerged triumphant. She fell and is better for her Fall.

P.S – The dog on the cover, is unfortunately NOT Norah Jones’s man of the hour. He is just a beautiful dog named Ben. Her actual Man of the Hour, is a 20 pound poodle, who according to Norah Jones, would have created chaos if allowed on any set. Ben, in my opinion however, would be the perfect Man of any Hour, non? Isnt he just beautiful?

Happy Holidays

2009-12-27T00:24:00.003+05:30

We the would just like to wish you the.

And a Happy New Year.

Thank you for making this year a particularly special one for us.

Avatar: A Review

2009-12-22T21:29:00.003+05:30

Ello All,

This post is a bit overdue but after watching it for a second time today, I realised James Cameron's Avatar did not deserve to go un-reviewed any longer.

For months now Tejas has been banging on about the movie and it's revolutionary technology and how it had the potential to change the landscape of film making. Personally, I was sceptical. Mostly because watching films like Ninja Assassin made me think that there was little left to revolutionise in modern cinematography and motion capturing. Specially not something worth a 12 year wait.

And then I saw it.

We don't usually swear on this blog but $#%&.

You know how Roald Dahl can take the simplest of stories and enchant them with wit and irony? Well, James Cameron's done the same damn thing only he's used unbelievable CGI and an overwhelming attention to detail.

The story line is simple and some could even say cliche. But no film, that has ever used any of the plot elements here before, be it aliens, romance, action, nature or the future, has ever told a story as beautifully as Cameron's team has done here.

The twin analogies of 'making' war for profit and the destruction of our ecosystem are put across in, till now, the most effective way I've ever seen. The idea behind "Tsahelu" a physical bond through energy (in the film through fat nerves coming out of your pony tail) to the planet and world that one lives in is possibly my favorite idea for the next few years.

But it's the attention to detail that makes this movie so immense. The tools and materials used by the "Na'vi" tribe, the language they came up with, the almost infinite inhabitants and elements in that incredible forest (The glowing had me gaping...) the little things about the aliens, such as the fact that all their animals have six legs (I suspect that has something to do with lower gravity...) and the fact that the real aliens have three fingers while the Avatars have four, all come together and make this film so incredibly HUGE I don't feel even slightly bad saying it's one of the defining movies of this decade.

In terms of acting I must say Sam Worthington doesn't make me cringe anymore. In fact he was quite freaking awesome in his 'Avatar'. The stand out performance for me though was that of Zoe Saldana who has quite swiftly become one of my favorite actresses. I suggest we all look out for her. From the looks of it she's one of the few raw, ballsy actors out there.

For now, go and have yourself a thorougly fulfilling 3-D experience. And a Happy New Year!

Ps. Long time no post. Apologies but you know how it is- you're trying to get into a big new course so you start arbitrarily checking people for hypertension and revolutionise Indian Radio. Good times.

French Women Don't Get Fat

2009-12-06T11:49:00.006+05:30

It’s true. French women have always been unfairly slender, with unfairly perfect skin, and even the sloppiest of French women are born with an inherent grace that most of us can’t even begin to fake. We can buy Chanel clutch purses , use Crème de la Mer, and even master the art of rolling our “R’s”, but there’s something about the French that we can never achieve.

Which is why, when I read a review about Mireille Guiliano’s “French Women Don’t Get Fat”, my attention was immediately aroused. It was an extremely funny article, about how the French are the only ones not overly affected by the scary “R” word. They drink as much wine as ever, and take longer lunch hours than they ever did. In fact, this particular journalist, pointed out that the reason the French aren’t so hit by Recession is BECAUSE of their long lunch breaks. It makes sense. The French will wake up as late as they like, they’ll have a leisurely breakfast, and get to work. But, when they reach office, they are so relaxed and rejuvenated, they give work their 200%. While in the US and the UK, people will scramble out of bed, battle with ties and pantyhose, and drink at least 5 venti lattes by the time they reach work. Then they’ll proceed to update their Facebook/Twitter, play Solitaire, meet colleagues at the coffee machine and productivity is basically nil. The article was so brilliantly written, with such marveilleuse insights, that when the journalist briefly mentioned “French Women Don’t Get Fat”, I knew I HAD to get my hands on it.

The logic that Guiliano presented to the world appealed to me because Ive been following it all my life : Eat whatever you want, whenever you want. Eat butter, white bread, chocolate, drink wine - just do it in moderation. If you feel like eating chocolate, and you immediately get your hands on it, you’ll end up eating a few squares. Your body’s demands have been instantly satisfied. However, if you try fighting your desire for chocolate, your body not only gets cranky, there comes a point when you stop fighting and youre cramming bars and bars of chocolate into your mouth like a crazy person. Never let yourself get hungry. Then you will never let yourself get stuffed. It is sound logic, and it seemed refreshing after all the calorie counting and banning of foods that other diets have strutted out.

Unfortunately, when Harry hunted it (and its sequel) down for me and it became my “Welcome home!” present, the book didn’t live upto my expectations, its review or its status as a present. While it’s a more entertaining read than most diet books, and its underlying logic is extremely sound, theres that certain something lacking that leaves the reader untouched. Its sequel on the other hand, “French Women for all Seasons” is a beautiful book, and one of my many books with a broken spine and many folded down pages. Guiliano seems to have put more of her heart into her sequel, with more personal histories, beautifully told with the occasional French phrase thrown in for poetic measure. While her first book tells you what to do and how to eat (including weekly menus!) her second book tells it like it is, which makes it even more a pleasure to read.

However, despite my criticism of “French Women Don’t Get Fat”, I hail her moot point as genius. It is a relief to finally have the ultimate non-diet book that dictates “the secret of eating for pleasure” One of my favourite chapters in the book, is one dedicated entirely to chocolate. Apparently, many French women say “Je deprime donc je chocolate” or “When I’m down, I chocolate”

It was a refreshing chapter to read in a so-called diet book, and so, as a tribute to the chapter and my father, I decided to try one of the recipes : Chocolate-Espresso Faux Souffles. A very simple recipe, I think Guiliano has made it so many times, she forgot that most people attempting are doing so for the first time. I followed her recipe perfectly the first time round, and had to discard it and start from scratch, switching around steps. And while I spent the night cursing her and her book, this morning I got up and actually tried the soufflé. I died, and went to heaven. Unlike my parents who gobbled their unset soufflés last night, I decided that all my exertions deserved to let it set properly. It was good that I did, because its perfect. Firm on the outside and molten chocolate inside. The kind of chocolate that makes you want to open chocolate museums (which apparently, the French have already done, thanks to recipes like this)

To quote Guiliano, who quoted Colette, a table of food should be seen as un rendez-vous d’amour et d’amitie (a date with love and friendship) Enjoy your food, savour it, eat for pleasure, and you may never have to worry about getting fat again.

KT Tunstall's New Material

2009-12-04T14:46:00.006+05:30

Hello everybody. I realise this may come off as a really geeky, stalk-ery post, but know that I do this for all the KT fans worldwide. I realised that since She had not updated her website in a long time, but sparks and rumours began to fly around summer time about a new album, that possibly they was something coming around maybe towards the end of this year(now). So let me at the very outset say that this is a comprehensive-ish post about all the information I have gathered about KT's new work, by scouring the internet and finding bits and bobs of news. Also the album is in all probability coming out sometime in the first half of 2010. Though she also mentioned somewhere that she wanted to record her new album in a solar power studio, but I haven't heard any news of her recording any new material anywhere so far. Personally I hope she's on it but also since she was touring during her first year of marriage, I hope she has time to chill as well.

No name has been released for an album, and I have not yet heard of any pre-production yet, but here are some of her new tracks that she's being playing at live gigs.

1. Poison in Your Cup: This one's about George Bush I heard, still proving to be the inspiration for many songs, articles, etc. She performed this one solo with her 'wee bastard' loop pedal at the Skoll World Forum on Social Entrepreneurship 2009. Very dramatic, very powerful slow number.

2. Fireworker: One of my favourites right now, typical drastic fantastic KT, almost like a major version of 'Hold On' and catchy chorus.

3. Madame Trudeau: Going back the 'Black Horse' style here, about a former Canadian president's wife who apparently ran off to be with the Rolling Stones.

4. The Hidden Part: This one is actually from a fundraising compilation album called 'Songs for Survival' in aid of endangered Amazon tribes, which explains the track's very early american-red-indian-river-valley type, but again with her mellow vocals, proves to be quite surreal. Good quality recording in the link.

Other songs are 'Turn Into You' (probably destined to become a B-Side) and Scarlet Tulip, a slowish standard expected from her in almost all her albums (like 'Paper Aeroplane' or 'Silent Sea') and these new songs should sound even better in studio quality.

Anyway the point of all this that KT will always have great songs, because A: she has a great band to back up her vocals and melodies, and that B she's an experienced live artist touring for almost 10 years before she was discovered, thus making her a goldmine of yet unreleased-but-supremely-awesome songs. Also this was therapeutic for me in a way, finally I could devise a way to re-listen to all her new stuff, from links on a single page.

If there are any updates or otherwise, that I have missed, please inform me.

Also KT, if there's any chance in hell you are reading this, please just come to India and to like Mumbai this time. I know you were in the Rajasthani desert! She jammed with Rajasthani percussionists! She and Luke Bullen (Her husband) played a Dhol-type drum (A much bigger one)!

Can't believe I didn't know about that. I would have gone to Tilonia.

For Technorati

2009-11-28T16:34:00.002+05:30

Had to do this for stats!

6HUPTNWNQYJQ

Thats for you, baby.

Unlikely Musicians

2009-11-27T09:30:00.005+05:30

Music as you may know is a big part of my life. In the past few years especially I have consciously/sub-consciously tried/failed/succeeded many/very few times to create/understand/replicate/modify/manipulate/control/innovate classic/contemporary forms of music. The results of which have been disastrous/astounding/enriching.
I would be inclined to think now, that music is an integral bit of everyone’s lives, whether they know it or not. Whether they try and incorporate some element of it into their lives. I can see an image of a corporate head going for a jam with friends after work. Or perhaps and a woman who finally buys herself the piano that she’s being putting of for so long, just to finally immerse herself into this new world of melody. Or maybe it’s the countless number of people putting their headphones on every time they step out of the house. Whatever it is, people are doing it, and if you’re not, you’ve got to try.

As I was aimlessly driving through the internet in my Powerbook G4 (Something I seem to be doing too much of lately* ) I stumbled upon a certain group of unlikely musicians, The Rock-Bottom Remainders; who were doing exactly what I thought people were doing. Random men and women who strum guitar and play music in general at a very basic level, had come together to jam-up and enjoy each others company and just play some simple songs to break away from their regular lives. More and more people like the afore-mentioned are finding music to be that one thing that they can use to colour their lives. The band I’m talking about have taken regular jamming to another level and has sort of an elite membership: Dave Barry, Stephen King, Amy Tan, Maya Angelou, Mitch Albom and Matt Groening to name a few. These very successful and powerful writers put down their pens and meet once a year to jam up for charity and the really cool thing is that they really know that they aren’t good at music so there’s always an endless supply of witty jokes about how bad they are:

"We play music as well as Metallic writes novels." -Dave Barry

"People are throwing panties at you. They certainly never do that at my book-signings." -Matt Groening

The point is that while this rock n’ roll band of published authors aren’t very good, they still go at it and have been at it since 1992. And also they are a hilarious bunch of people, so you should check them out for sure.
Music is for everyone and only you. You should first and foremost, feel the effects of the guitar in your hands while you strum it. You should get the feel of what John Mayer is saying when you buy his CD. Another super example of what I’m talking about is how my friend and I formed a band way back in 2008. We’re not too good, but I can speak for both of us when I say, I think we RULE. I enjoy cause I can experiment with new ideas in this relatively pure acoustic-one-woman-managed band but mostly I enjoy cause I get to watch a not that great singer pull out all stops and just sing his heart out. And I realized that much later until we were too busy to meet up let alone jam up. He may very well be the funniest guy I know and we connect on some kind of supreme level, and for that I miss him, and hope he accepts my heartfelt apology for bumming him out all too recently.
Please do yourself a favour and get out there. Buy a Karaoke machine. Or a violin. You’ve got to try.

*Lately = the last 3 years.

2012: The Review

2009-11-13T20:16:00.005+05:30

Ello All,
So yes it happened. It came and I saw it and MAN!
What an excellent, excellent film. For several reasons and before I get into them I must say- it most certainly was not perfect. A lot of the times it was melodramatic, a lot of the times it was unrealistic, and for the most part, the family's story that leads the entire plot is far fetched to say the least.
Possibly a hundred close calls, near misses, 'aaaaaaaAAAAAAH! Phew' moments and other such wonderful things a script can give us. The more cynical would possibly use it as a reason to beat the film up though I must say, while it did grate on me a bit, it certainly kept the film thrilling THROUGHOUT, something not many films can accomplish. I can only think of one moment when my eyes weren't on the screen and my heart wasn't racing. At the same time, especially considering the kind of cameras they've used, I expected a bit more reality in the script (ironically a criticism levied against the lead character's book.)
Now for the good parts-
The Graphics were excellent. The solar flares, the tidal waves, the disintegrating crust of the earth and even the exposed core, were all STUNNING and quite an experience. There were a couple of places where I felt the green screen was a bit too evident, but overall, the mammoth task the filmmakers accomplished certainly deserves the capital G in graphics!
The acting was perfect for this kind of a film. More significantly though, the casting was just about spotless. Oliver Platt, Woody Harrelson and John Cusack stood out and all played their parts so very naturally and so non stereotypically, there wasn't a single place I wanted to cringe. Even the fringe characters (barring the Indian SATNAM who to be fair did decently enough, it's just that for Indians it's quite blatant how rough his accent and mannerisms were) were superb in their bits, though casting Amanda Peet for her role was ingenius. It was a mature, well restrained performance and certainly one worth lauding.
The direction too was near flawless, though as I mentioned earlier, there's extensive creative license.
Finally, and for me, the reason this movie has outdone past apocalyptic films, the script. I did not expect to come out of this movie, so in awe of the thoroughly detailed writing for this movie. First of all, science wise, it seemed pretty flawless to me, though I'm sure there are gaffs, the film's ending is perhaps the most well thought of doomsday solution I've ever come across.
Second of all, some of the dialogues are just inspired, especially towards the end. The plot elements, like Woody Harrelson's blog, John Cusack's book and the comedic lines are PERFECT. While the brief comedy could easily have been trite and gotten by, the writers have made sure it's pushed the plot forward in terms of revealing important character facets and plot elements. Also, the intrinsic details like how the Cistine Chapel cracks (check out which painting it is, even if the symbolism isn't clear, it looks quite freaking cool) add so much depth to the movie it sucks you right in.
Third of all, the writers have broken so many typically apocalytpic moments, the Statue of Liberty gaff, the 'I'll have a dramatic pause now and it's all good' was broken a couple of times (though abused a few times too) and most importantly for me- NO PUNCH LINES!
It could have been the director, the actors or the script writers themselves who slipped in these little things, frankly I don't give a crap.
This is easily the biggest film of the year and rightly so, though as I've mentioned, it isn't going to change your life, only give you one hell of an experience.
Let me just say one last thing:
Do not make the mistake of missing this one on the big screen- YOU'VE BEEN WARNED!

Of Kindred Spirits and Anne Shirley

2009-11-11T22:18:00.006+05:30

I have wanted to do a post of Anne of Green Gables for the longest time, but the timing was never right. To do proper justice to Anne-with-an-e Shirley and everything she represented, there had to a proper time, place and feeling.

I discovered Anne of Green Gables when I was 10. I had borrowed an abridged illustrated copy from a friend and I felt hopelessly in love. An orphan who was sent by accident to a brother-and-sister, she managed to transform their lives as well as the pretty Canadian town she lived in. Between the ages of 10 - 15, I managed to track down all 8 of her books - dating from her childhood, to the lives and loves of her own children. My collection of Anne Shirley's life has and always will be one of my most prized possession. She was and is one of my best friends. Her colorful imagination, her lyrical flights of fancy, and her all encompassing sense of love makes her far more than a mere fictional character. The fact that she was far from perfect helped too - a perfect person would never manage to dye her hair green, her nose blue, get her 11-year old friend drunk, bake a cake with anodyne liniment etc. Anne Shirley creeps her way into your heart because she is so...human.

One of Anne's pet theories, is one of kindred spirits. A kindred spirit is much more than just a friend. A kindred spirit, is someone who understands unconditionally, without even trying. Someone who becomes a part of your life without even trying, whether you like it or not, because somehow or the other, she/he just knows what you're saying/thinking/feeling. That someone will not only tolerate your incessant ramblings but will manage to acquire the underlying sense behind it. That someone gives you far more than love or friendship - that someone "gets" you, which is much harder to find than love/friendship.

Since Anne Shirley explained the concept of kindred spirits to me, a decade ago, I have been on the lookout for them. And I have found them, perhaps not as much I'd like, but I love the ones I have with a deep deep devotion. My kindred spirits shared a flaw however. They never understood the concept of kindred spirits. I could explain till I was hoarse, I could attempt to shove poor Anne down their throats, and they never really got it. They liked the way it sounded, and thought it amusing that it meant so much to me, but never really understood the significance of a kindred spirit the way Anne did.

But recently, I found a new kindred spirit, one I have never even met. It is surreal in the nicest possible way knowing that you and someone can "get" each other, without ever having met. But this someone, when told she was my kindred spirit, knew enough to exclaim"Anne of Green Gables!" This someone knew what being a kindred spirit meant, and understood enough of Anne-with-an-e's own spirit to know how yay it is to find one. This particular kindred spirit excites me more than the others I have, because if we can "get" each other when we have never met, I would love to know what it'll be like when we DO meet.

At age 10, Anne Shirley became a kindred spirit for life. One of the few fictional characters in my bookshelf to hold that title. But more than that, she paved the way for me to find kindred spirits of my own, apart from her. She taught me that once you find someone like that, you keep them. She taught me that an imagination can be the greatest comfort when you are "in the depths of despair" and she taught me it doesnt hurt to dream, even if you have freckles and red hair.

And most importantly, she taught me to always look at the bottle before you attempt to dye your hair. Green hair is not...becoming.

“Kindred Spirits are not so scarce as I used to think. Its splendid to find out there are so many of them in the world" - Anne Shirley in Anne of Green Gables

Countdown to 2012

2009-11-06T20:16:00.004+05:30

Ello All,

It's hard to know why, but for some reason, we LOVE ourselves a good apocalypse!
As you all will know, in a few days one of the most widely anticipated movies of this year is going to be released. The film ofcourse, is 2012. It's centered around the theory that the Mayan calendar ends in 2012 and as the saying goes:
"Shit goin' down!"
As far as I can tell, the film is following the same formula that most apocalyptic films follow.
-There's some huge freaking climate change on a global scale.
-Everyone is scared crazy.
-America's at the brunt of it.
-The Statue of Liberty is going to get MESSED UP!
-There is one man who took his job too seriously and lost his family (who still totally dig him, they just don't know it yet)
-The governments are clueless and have no clue how to fix a damn thing.
-Shit goin' down!
What's interesting though, is that until the eighties when the likes of George Lucas started developing CGI and film techniques, there weren't a whole lot of these films, because they just cost too much.
With the kind of technology film makers have at their disposal today though, these films are almost commonplace now. Of course, as I mentioned earlier, we can't seem to get enough of them. Maybe it's the thrill of global destruction. Maybe it's the preachy monologue at the end. Maybe it's the return of slightly older actors in hardcore cool roles. Maybe it's the return of slightly older actors acting as the President of the United States. Maybe it's just the sheer event the film marketers make it out to be.
But one thing is for sure. We love to see how they portray the planet in their messed up futures. We LOVE to see how things change, we LOVE to see where the Statue of Liberty's going to be next. And quite clearly, we love to see big ass tidal waves!
So as a mild warm up for the big event that is 2012, I'd like to run through five films in the past couple of years that have stood out in their own little apocalyptic ways for differing reasons. They are in no order of preference or release date.
1) The Day the Earth Stood Still: I hated it. The film was stupid, one dimensional, preachy, downright silly at times, and quite honestly, Keanu Reeves was acting as Neo all over again. Only this time, he wasn't cool. What the film DID do well though, was it's special effects. The disintegration of everything around Reeves, the atmospheric changes and the monster sized robot were all stunningly done. In fact, it's this kind of film that makes me wonder just how incredible Avatar is going to have to be to live up to it's 'revolutionary' tag.
2) Terminator: Salvation: Another film which let down as far as acting, plot and script were concerned. The environment and machinery shown in the film was freaking unbelievable. The bikes popping out of giant robot shins, the guns, the capsules, the under water machines, were all so perfectly designed and placed, it made the whole film feel SO much better than it really was.
In particular the set design stood out as one of the best I've seen in a while.
3) Babylon AD: You know, in spite of it being a Vin Diesel film, I honestly expected great things from this film. That is until they gave Vin Diesel the chance to speak for more than two sentences. Fact remains though, the graphics and visuals in this film were HUGE. But more than anything else, it was the little things I loved about the movie.
In particular there's the map Vin Diesel uses to navigate. What looks like a peice of paper, gets pinched and stroked much like your iPhone does right now, and the best part is, it actually behaved like one. Only, when he was done, he just folded it right back into his backpack and made way. The other thing worth mentioning about the film is that it doesn't bore us with a pointless explanation about HOW the world's in the state it is, it just kind of moves on to the action at hand.
4) Wall- E: One of the best films made. One of the best sets animated. One of the best detail to characters. One of the most original takes on how we need to litter less. Tough freaking act to follow, though it doesn't compete with any of the films in this genre.
5) The Day After Tomorrow: True, it's from 2004 and doesn't count as 'last couple of years' but let's face it, this is the movie 2012 is going to have to out do if anyone's going to remember it. Super actors, super plot, super graphics and Dennis freaking Quaid!
A cinematic experience to say the least, and I'm one of the chumps who saw it on a laptop!
Needless to say I won't be missing 2012 in a theatre.
And I would hope none of you do either.
Till the day- ADDALAY!

Michael Jackson's This Is It: A Review

2009-10-30T01:05:00.003+05:30

Ello All,

When it happened, we let Tejas express how we felt about the death of a true great.

Due to some miscommunication between us, I ended up watching This is it before him, and so, quite humbly, I'll go through with the review for it.

The film, as most of you will know, is a filmed record of what was happening behind the scenes of "One last curtain call" as Michael put it himself.

Unfortunately, as you will also know, a few days before the final dress rehearsals, The King of Pop, passed away- thus making the whole shabang only what would have been the greatest concert he ever put together. And compared to some of the things he's put on stage, that's one hell of a show we're talking about.

The film starts with some testimonials from the supporting dance troupe, about how honoured they are to be dancing alongside their hero. The testimonials continue throughout the film and we see, essentially how awesome his crew, his band and his dancers all thought he was, or at the time, 'is.'

Essentially it's a collection of videos showing the rehearsals and creative process of Jackson and Ortega (The director, and his choreographer). I won't describe or point out what stood out as stunning to me, in too much detail. I will say, however, the preparation, the planning and the way all the performances come together is thrilling. The music, the dancing, the stage set up, the background videos, all merge to form one hugely inspiring, moving and simply stunning performance after the other.

What struck me most though, and I think will strike you most as well, is not only how Michael treats the whole thing, but how everyone treats Michael.

There are many times when the band continues on cue, or the dancers continue as choreographed, and MJ stops them to make them do it the way he thinks it ought to be. What's incredible about this, is not his eye and ear for detail, but the way he feels so instinctively, when to let things 'simmer' and when to let things 'pop'. I've always felt, that one of his greatest stage moves was his mastery of the stance. Of holding, pausing or abruptly halting the whole thing to grip you with expectation. To let the audience cheer and scream and hope for the imminent powerful BURST back into groove.

The powerful dancing, the 'oomph' choreography, the music would all mean nothing, if it weren't given to us viewers with the expert timing and precision that MJ commands. It's like the right full stop in the middle. Of a sentence.

A command, further elucidated by the fact that MJ asks for what he does, not in technical terms, but ALWAYS in metaphor. "Play with love." "No. Do it like you're dragging yourself out of bed." (A fact Ishaan, my roommate and a bassist in several bands, found very very irritating, saying that it was very childish and very annoying when people expect other people to technically respond to emotive commands. He did agree though, after seeing MJ do his thing in a rehearsal of Billie Jean, that it was the smallest price to pay to be a part of something that awesome happening.)

And that's the amazing thing. How very much like a child MJ seems throughout. Not in being exuberant, but in being reserved to the point of seeming shy. His polite requests always come off, more as encouraging someone to do better, rather than discouraging them from doing worse- if that makes sense at all.

Even the stage technicians and choreographers- always polite, always patient, as if they were dealing with a 4 year old. Careful not to push him too much, at the same time making sure they don't misunderstand him and incite a tantrum. A tantrum, which incredibly, never seemed to come, as one would perhaps expect from a 'genius' like Jackson.

What we end up getting with this film, is a real sense of HOW he functioned and what motivated him to do what he does. At times it feels a bit corny but his innate fragility makes you wonder why you'd ever doubt it at all.

When I came out of this movie, I felt the need to MOVE! To groove and to express like I'd die doing it. To PANG and BOOM, the way most of the performances do. To stand tall, chest out and yell as loud and clear as I freaking can.

The thing about Michael Jackson is not that he could dance well and sing nice notes. It's not that he wrote beautiful songs and made excellent concerts- it's that above all else, he FELT it, man. He felt every time he pumped his crotch, he FELT every time he clenched his fist and sang out loud, he FELT every time he looked at the audience and said 'I love you and God Bless you.'

To love what you're doing, to feel in your gut, everything that you convey, if there is one thing I have learnt from Michael Jackson- This is it.

Rest in peace, dear Michael. For never growing up, for never losing heart and for ALWAYS loving, rest in peace.

The Michael Sheen trilogy: A Review

2009-10-28T00:52:00.003+05:30

Ello All,
I love movies. I Love Football. And like most of you, dear readers, I like British people.
So when I find a young, talented Welsh actor, who chose drama over sport, and still regrets that choice, it makes me jump up and down in little happy fits. That's happy. Not gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
The title of this post would suggest Michael Sheen has only three films to his name. That's just not true. He's done several other little performances, most notably in the Underworld series and the excellent Kingdom of Heaven.
But the fact remains, that his largely Theatre centric career, is most famous for three films- The Queen, Frost/Nixon and recently, The Damned United. I've seen all three now, in that order, and anyone who's seen them will agree they are excellent films.
All three represent real life characters, and as is the case with most depictions of real life characters, all are said to be flawed representations.
In the Queen, he plays a young, enthusiastic Tony Blair. His wide smile and charming demeanour immediately convince you he looks exactly like Tony Blair. He's impassioned, he's witty and above all else he's very very confused.
He then plays David Frost, the journalist who yanked out of Nixon what an entire American public failed to. His wide smile and charming demeanour immediately convince you he's some kind of awesome. He's impassioned, he's witty and he's also very very confused.
He then plays Brian Clough, the brilliant manager who led several shitty teams to great things. His wry smile, and self serving charm lead you to believe he IS 'Cloughie.' He's impassioned, he's witty, and above all else, he's very very stubborn.
Now it's clear that in all three cases there are many similarities, and in fact, a lazy watcher could say, he plays the same person over and over again.
To them, I would offer this quote from the man himself:
"It's interesting that in searching for monsters to play you often end up playing leaders."
The thing is, unlike Tom Cruise, who almost ALWAYS does play the same guy with a different name, Sheen tends to play, as he puts himself- himself.
Most great actors tend to put themselves into their part. In fact, our very own Tejas used it as a means to play his last, comparatively smaller part.
What amazes me about Sheen though, is that unlike Cruise, I am excited to see his next film, not because he is bad ass- but simply because I know how thoroughly flawed and innately big headed his characters(and he) can be.
In The Damned United, a film criticised, as always, for being untrue he changes his accent, his mannerisms and even the very core of his personality. The characters all have very different motivations, yet there is something about all of them, something in the way they all smile through their own personal problems and fight on to a greater clarity.
At this point, I think the best way I can describe my opinion of Michael Sheen is in one word- Intrigue.
I am thoroughly psyched to see him in Alice in Wonderland where he'll be playing the White Rabbit.
I have a feeling I know how he'll approach the role, and I have a feeling it will feel a little familiar again, but just like the last 2 films of his I saw, I cannot wait to see what happens with it.
To anyone who is yet to experience a Michael Sheen performance, I suggest you find yourself a copy of any of the three films mentioned here.
It will be a thoroughly intriguing watch, especially after you read this.

Street Thief: A Review...sort of

2009-10-24T01:29:00.003+05:30

Ello All

A few months ago I saw a movie called 'Smokin' Aces'. I loved it. I rate it as one of the best action films I have ever seen. As soon as it was done, I did my usual web analysis of it and like several films before- it partly ruined the film for me. Everyone hated it. Everyone mocked it and just about no one agreed with me.

Tonight I have watched a film called Street Thief. The movie is shot documentary style and is probably one of the best documentaries you'll see. Problem is it's not a freaking documentary.

After watching the film, I was stunned. It's slick and edgy and thoroughly real, in a very very raw way. I won't say it changed how I feel about the subject matter (Film makers follow a 'professional' burglar as he stakes out, plans and steals from several different places.) I won't say it's made some huge impact on my life, but the film really is quite amazing. It's thrilling, it's entertaining, and contains one of the best scores I've heard in a while.

The end of the film makes you doubt how real, or actually just 'how' the entire film amounts to what it does.

The weird part is the widespread debate about whether or not the film is real. I'd just like to clarify, to anyone else who was as confused as me, that the film itself is NOT real. The director plays the main 'subject', the 'director' in the film is played by an actor and the only other character of note is also played by an actor.

Clearly then, the film is not real. It IS entertaining, it IS gripping, and it IS a superb new way of showing burglars and the truth about professional robbery (let's just say, George Clooney may have misled us a teensy bit.) but the fact of the matter is, no matter how great a film is and no matter how many truths it can convey, if you're pretending to be a documentary, to the point that you do not mention your actual cast in the end credits, and you depict timelines and factual indicators throughout your film, then you're just a big fat steaming stinking Blair Witch ripping liar.

I love documentaries and I love fiction. Michael Moore does documentaries to seem as entertaining as fiction. The other way around just feels scummy. (To be fair, to many people, Michael Moore is just plain scummy for his own little lies.) Frankly, I believe that if these guys, had a superior script and better actors, we would have possibly one of the best fiction films of 2006.

Instead, and this is not to put down the exceptional performance of Malik Bader as the lead character, or in fact Ken Seng's exceptional cinematography, we have a film which entertains and excites, only to let you down hard and leave you with a very sour after taste.

While this post may have moved you a long way towards disliking the film even before you've seen it, I strongly recommend you watch the film and BELIEVE it for the 1 and a half hours it plays. It really is excellent viewing, just don't fall for it the way the Bader Brothers would like you to.

Till later, Gators.

FIFA vs Pro Evolution Soccer

2009-10-20T22:58:00.006+05:30

Ello All,
We don't usually do gaming posts though, I feel that's mostly an oversight more than it is some sort of policy.
So the first FIFA I ever played properly was FIFA 07. When I say properly of course I mean Manager Mode, where you play as the manager of a team for several seasons, scouting, making formations, trading, etc.
Within the football video game segment there are two main players- FIFA and Pro Evolution Soccer. FIFA is the undisputed market leader and Pro Evo is the nuanced underdog which people sort of treat like it's an acquired taste.
I've always seen it as chocolate and bitter chocolate. Everyone loves their dairy milk chocolate, but very few will incur the extra costs to stick loyally to bitter chocolate. You can't say either is better, you can only have an over bearing feeling that one is better.
I'd just like to break down what I feel are the real differences between the two, in light of the imminent releases of their latest versions.
Alright, so I'm going to break it down using four main criteria which I feel are very important to playing a football video game. I should point out though, that this involves the Manager Mode specifically. The exhibitions and tournaments are all well and good, but in my experience people spend most of their time in the Manager Mode.
I should of course point out, FIFA's exceptional developments in making the BeAPro and Live Season modes where you can play as one player and as your favorite(or not) team in the real conditions of real time.
1) Gameplay:
Now until, FIFA 09 the PES gameplay was far more realistic and far less flawed than FIFA's. Come 2008 and FIFA fixed the problem making the movement far less candy, and far harder to thrive in. Movements must be exact, headers and crosses timed perfectly and defences in perfect precision.
On this front, I'd have to say FIFA nips it because not only is it as nuanced as PES, I found that on their last versions, the FIFA gameplay required far more focus that the PES game did.
2) Transfers:
Alright, anyone who enjoys playing the matches or not, will agree that the greatest skill one requires to thrive in these games is one's activity in the transfer market.
FIFA has used the same model for years now and frankly it's quite rubbish. There are no swaps allowed, and most importantly you can very often get a completely misguided portrayal of a player from the stats they offer. PES on the other hand, allows for swaps, negotiations involve SEVERAL factors in that, Gerrard will NOT leave Liverpool just like that. In FIFA though you make one single bid and more often than not it works.
PES wins this round hands down.
3) Player treatment:
In PES, I've found, that generally players are better representations of their real life selves. PES sticks solely to a collection of stats while FIFA chooses to generalise using an 'overall' value. Fair enough, except that the players in FIFA, barring an elite few, do not perform the way they do in real life. Perhaps, it's just that they care more, perhaps it's their valuation systems, but for me PES depicts and creates 'lesser players like David Odonkor and even bigger players like Frank Lampard, far more realistically than FIFA does.

Furthermore, I find that in teams you aren't managing yourself, and are up against, the restrictive positional titles FIFA has given, tend to see important players playing unimportant roles, more often than not, nothing like the way they play in real life. Something that unless you're particularly obsessive about, you cannot rectify. It always bothers me that because Gerrard is a CAM, and liverpool's 4-4-2 involves only CMs, he does not fit in. Similarly, even Mascherano as a CDM, does not feature. Initially you relish the unfair advantage you have but after a while, it's just annoying that you cannot play against what you KNOW is Liverpool's best side in the Champions League final.
Suffice it to say, when Gerrard makes a run in PES, his movement, pace and reactions to commands are what I'd expect from the REAL Steven Gerrard.
PES with another one.
4) Details:
In PES, at the end of each season, there is a little image with the top scorer in a suit. There is then a little image with the best player in a little image. I like that. It matters to me that it matters to them.
In FIFA, I can verify the teams and players in more countries and more leagues. When I say more, I mean of course, just about all. The overwhelming number of rights accumulated is incredible and adds a depth and dimension that makes PES feel like a video game, while FIFA feels like a world.
Round 4 to FIFA.
As I said earlier, you cannot decide which is better, only which you prefer. For me PES is an amazing experience, but FIFA offers a greater longevity in that you can't get bored knowing how far down the league system goes in England. And Germany. And Spain. And Italy. And Portugal.

In my little experience with video games however, I must say it's in every player's best interests to just screw it and buy both.

For a much better review though, check these guys out.

Till later.
Sorry for the lack of posts lately. Hectic days lately. For Tejas. I'm just Lazy. And well you know Kyra posts are worth the wait. Do expect more in the near future. I'm going to capitalise on my vacation time.

Let the Wild Rumpus Start.

2009-10-02T15:11:00.010+05:30

I have suddenly realized, that before going off to do my Masters in Children's Literature, I should actually KNOW something about Children's Literature. This epiphany led to the discovery, reading, understanding of Maurice Sendak's 1963 classic picturebook, "Where The Wild Things Are" which on the 16th of October 2009, will make its appearance as a full-length feature film.

I must admit, I couldn’t stand the book when I first read it some months ago. I prodded it in disgust and told Harry loudly, "I can't believe THIS is considered one of the greatest examples of children's literature in the world" and he agreed with me, just as loudly.

Then we read it again, and again, and again, and before we knew it, I was saying "That's a beautiful idea", and Harry was saying "That’s one of the most beautiful lines I’ve ever read", and somehow, without us knowing, we had fallen in love with the book - with the way Sendak wrote, with the way Sendak drew his Wild Things, with everything Max and his imagination represented.

The story is of a naughty little boy called Max, who is sent to bed without his dinner, because as his mother says, he is a wild thing. An angry Max, stuck in his room with only his anger to keep him company, imagines a forest, a vast ocean, and he finally reaches "The Wild Things" who "roared their terrible roars and gnashed their terrible teeth and rolled their terrible eyes and showed their terrible claws" Obviously, Max tames these wild things, and they make him "King of all Wild Things" Max then leads his wild things into a wild rumpus, and they all revel in glorious rumpus-like revels, until Max's anger begins to fade, and loneliness sets in. From far far away, he smells his dinner, and realises that while rumpus-ing with wild things is fun, a place with dinner and "where someone loved him most of all" was the place he wanted to be. And so, he says goodbye to the wild things, and returns home. Where his dinner is waiting for him..."and it was still hot"

It's a story a 6 year old as well as an adult can relate to. How many us, when angry and unable to express that angry, fall back on fantasy and think of what we would do if we ruled the world, before we calm down and return the real world? All of us. Giving rein to anger through imagination is something we have done as children, and continue to do today.

While I have my misgivings about a children's picturebook being transformed into a feature film (especially a book comprising of 10 sentences) there are a few reasons this is a must-watch film
1) The trailer is most beautiful, and when I watched it in the theatre three months ago, I could hear people around me sniffling (in a good "Oh what a beautiful movie, must want to watch" kind of way) and I was a little goosepimply myself.
2) The movie is a product of the combined efforts of the director and Sendak, who spent around a decade perfecting it.
3) The most important reason of all: Its a Spike Jonze film, of Being John Malkovich and Adaptation fame. Jonze was handpicked by Sendak to bring his 10-sentence masterpiece to celluloid, and Sendak after seeing the completed cut said "I’ve never seen a movie that looked or felt like this. And it’s [Spike Jonze's] personal ‘this.’ And he’s not afraid of himself. He’s a real artist that lets it come through in the work. So he’s touched me. He’s touched me very much"

So while Im fortunate enough to have the wild things in my bookshelf (and in the most furious of my imaginings), I will on the 16th of October, "sail off through night and day and in and out of weeks and almost a year to where the wild things are"

A verb called Jazz.

2009-09-26T04:58:00.003+05:30

We all have our indulgences. They’re hard to hide from at the best of times. And at the worst of times, they can cripple you. When you’re depressed you’ll consume pints and gallons of chocolate – at it doesn’t matter if you’ve been on the Atkins Diet (or the South Beach Diet or whatever is in these days). Indulgences have a way of creeping up on you when you least expect it. And before you know it, the indulgence has become an obsession – and kaboom! You’re shoveling chocolate in the bathroom/kitchen/trial room like a crazy person.

I used to listen to jazz once in a while. When I felt quiet, when I felt in need of inspiration, when I felt like dancing up and down just to forget. It was a monthly fix, and I was instantly cured. But, before I realized it, I was spending all the money I had buying jazz as fast as I could. I forgot about buying shoes, going for movies or even buying books. All I could think about was feeling Miles Davis, John Coltrane, Billie Holiday, Louis Armstrong etc over and over again.

Jazz isn’t easy to understand. You can’t sing along to it. You can’t quote it. You can just listen and feel whatever you feel at that moment. The first time I heard “In a Sentimental Mood” by John Coltrane, I felt well, sentimental. The second time I felt like skimming stones Amelie-style. The third time I felt like owning a Polaroid camera and taking sepiatone photographs. And listening to it right now, for the n-th time, I feel like taking a very long walk – despite the fact that it is now 3:35am. You never know what you’re going to feel next. First you think it’s a happy song, and then it’s a sad song. Then it’s an angry song, and next, it’s a love song. And on it goes. Like Beiderbecke once said, “One thing I like about jazz, kid, is that I don't know what's going to happen next. Do you?”

On the album cover of “Kind of Blue”, it is written : If this is your first encounter with Kind of Blue, be forewarned that it is likely to become an indispensable part of your life. This is true. It took me 4-5 years to track down the album and hold it in my hands. It is most definitely, an indispensable part of my life. Kind of Blue has been described as something you just have to own. Something you never knew you had clicks into place and makes perfect sense once it belongs to you, and you hear it over and over again and you know, that every meaning and every feeling you get each and every time you hear a song, is yours alone.

You can’t study jazz. Or define it. Or categorize it. It’s a feeling that you cant explain. Like your first kiss, or rain after a heat wave, or seeing twinkly lights on a cranky day, or finding that book you’d always wanted in a rickety secondhand bookshop, or seeing live the artist/band you’ve loved and understood half or most of your life. It’s not a theorem to be understood, or a subject to be studied. It’s an inherent feeling, and you just…know. Louis Armstrong summed up my struggling prose perfectly : If you have to ask what jazz is, you’ll never know.

***

I can’t explain jazz, but I CAN recommend albums that are guaranteed to stir or evoke some emotion:

Miles Davis: Kind of Blue (a must, but not the easiest to find, especially the remastered version, with all the songs perfectly on key) and Milestones ( a more aggressive sound, just as perfect)

John Coltrane: The Paris Concert (if you find this, please get it. Its some of the most beautifully energetic and intense music you will ever hear) and Coltrane for Lovers (This isn’t mushy or sappy, it just flows and before you know it, the album’s over and you’re playing it all over again)

If you don’t have the patience for the Davis, Coltrane, Parker or Monk, I suggest you ease into it by starting off with Louis Armstrong, Ella Fitzgerald, Billie Holiday etc, who are easier to understand but encapsulate the beauty of jazz to the T.

***

Don't threaten me with love, baby; let's just go walking in the rain.

Billie Holiday

Disney buys Marvel for reported $4bn

2009-09-01T13:21:00.004+05:30

Ello All

So today while I was hunting around the net for football transfer stories I came across the news that someone had bought someone but neither of them had anything to do with football.

Incredibly enough Disney has bought Marvel and everything it owns. The deal is said to take about a year to complete but the fact remains that two of our favorite childhood companies have come together.

As Tejas and I gasped when we heard, the truth is, we have no idea what this means.

Undoubtedly Disney have some mega strategy in line, the concern is about what that strategy entails.

Will all Marvel movies start with the Walt Disney castle?

Will Steve Rogers now actually come back?

Will Hannah Montana be the new Ms. Marvel?

Will The Punisher stop killing and leave pretty flowers of change and affirmation instead?

Commercially, it's fairly clear what this means. Marvel related theme parks/rides, Marvel toys, Marvel stationery, Marvel clothing will be bigger than ever. Perhaps, dare I dream, we may even see a few Marvel TV shows.

More significantly though Marvel can now challenge DC with a new improved studio's backing (DC has been able to spread out a lot more with Warner Bros' millions). Alternately ofcourse, Disney can challenge Warner Bros. with a whole new stable of characters to add to their list.

What worries me though, is how much more Marvel will commercialise. It's brief work with Sony gave us some of the least true representations of awesome moments. To be fair Wolverine was all them so maybe it's not always an outside studio's fault.

More than anything else though I'm scared. Disney's work has always been with a very different target group. Marvel's target group isn't nearly as specific as disney's is so I just hope they have the chops to run a place like Marvel without diluting it too much.

I suppose the main concern will be whether Quesada and his team have the same creative control they formerly had. With hands tied, and a new focus, it may not bode well for what is, so much more than just a comic book company to so many people.

Marvel's about imagining in the real world. About having problems and being a complete geek about it. About being super but always, under all circumstances, being harshly real. I just hope we don't lose that. Again, in all fairness, the imminent return of Captain America may very well have ended that without Disney's intervention.

Anyway, here's to the entire Civil War Arc performed by dancers for a bunch of kids. On ice.

Ps. Special thanks to Tejas for manning this ship all by himself for so damn long. He really, undoutedly, truly and deeply is the.

The Wonderful Mohit Chauhan

2009-08-18T12:17:00.005+05:30

This post was originally going to be about the quantum leap that Hindi music has made over the last 5-10 years or so; but instead I decided I'd focus on one singer who is at the top of the charts and is in much demand by the premier music directors of the Indian Film Industry.

Working in a Hindi radio station WILL get you addicted to Hindi songs and music. Even if you are not a fan of it, you will be whether you like it or not. I always used to dig it. I love AR Rahman and Shankar Ehsaan Loy's music and recently have come to appreciating other musicians work as well. Also I'll agree that popular Hindi music hasn't had the best rep, with hosts of musicians copying tunes from the west (and east as it turns out!) and I can say personally that the 90's worked itself into a rut, with repititive chords and melodic patterns, (a trait in most Aditya Chopra and Karan Johar films, I've noticed) that annoyed the shit out of me many a time.
But as the aughts rolled out, more composers broke away from that norm, favouring a more western style of chord progressions and more musicality and less percussion. And it is also strange that even though we opt for this change, it still cannot be dubbed as anything else but popular hindi music or Bollywood music; mainly because it still retains that distinct touch of Indian, like vocals from Raahat Fateh Ali Khan*, or Kailash Kher. Or perhaps even because of the inclusion of a pakhawaj or tabla to a drum set. Whatever it may be, I know that Mohit Chauhan is also one of those reasons.
Few may remember the erstwhile Silk Route; a 'rock' band at the time when we had few. It was from here we heard of Mohit Chauhan, the lead singer/guitarist at the time singing the popular 'Dooba Dooba' which has actually aged quite well since then. Mohit moved on from then and released a few solo albums before getting signed to sing as playback. It is at this point in his career that I feel he has peaked, by being the proud owner of the vocals that can be heard on this summer's two biggest releases: Love Aaj Kal and Kaminey.
After his short success with AR Rahman's 'Khoon Chala' he recorded for Imtiaz Ali's breakthrough 'Jab We Met', in the slow but beautiful Tum Se Hi. He became recognizable to me from that point and just went on to wow the hell outta me. He came out with the much under-appreciated 'Kuch Khaas' from Fashion as well as the strangely insipid 'Is This Love' from Kismat Konnection. But it was 'Masakali' from Delhi-6 that has showed the range of this singer. I always imagine that it must be a pleasure for the playback to record to excellent music, AR Rahman's to say the least, theres not much to be salvaged by a singer from crap music, but just by listening to the song you can clearly understand how he must have enjoyed recording it.
Two songs I am listening back to back at the moment are both romantic numbers from the movies Love Aaj Kal and Kaminey, with Mohit Chauhan returning to what he does best.

'Dooriyan' from LAK is clearly possesing the more Rom-Com-Comercial feel to it, with Imtiaz Ali trying to recreate the same effect from Tum Se Hi, and trying to force out the emotions, with the string section and music I have decided to dub CRM or Cry-by-Reverb Music (as opposed to HRM). However we can all agree that it is probably Mohit Chauhan's soothing voice that will probably get the girls crying.

'Pehli Baar Mohabbat Ki Hai' composed by Vishal Bhardwaj himself for his own film Kaminey, is my personal winner of the two, clearly the more tender song, with interesting vocal moments and moving piano moments. Equally great vocals from Mohit Chauhan makes this all the more intense, and I'm interested how this song will come off on screen.

I hope he goes on to release tracks like these, and hope he has the oppurtunity too, because you know how unreasonably far one can be from the other. Now if Lucky Ali would just get off his lazy ass and accept Rahman's offer to work with him...

* The inspiration and reason why I started writing this post. Unbelievable vocals on 'Ajj Din Chadheya' from Love Aaj Kal.

The Swine Flu Special?

2009-08-13T15:08:00.005+05:30

As you may know by now, the pigs have conquered Pune. That is where I live, and I am most annoyed, obviously because the possibility of it lurks at every turn, or else hidden inadequately behind a 20 rupee surgical mask. My friends have canceled their trip to Pune to visit me due to this reason and while the decision is the responsible one, it is still disappointing. The schools and colleges are closed as are their counterparts; malls and theatres, and people are either staying put at home, or working in their offices with a reasonably high degree of alarm.

Last night my cousin and I had a short chat about the current situation regarding the release of movies. Kaminey has delayed its release in Pune and Mumbai, and everyone hates that, however it seems that none of the television channels have capitalized on the current scenario.

A swine flu special perhaps? for all those who are either recuperating at home, or even just plain bored. The only thing close I saw to something of the aforementioned idea, was in the Pune Mirror a couple of days back. Listed in their "Books and Movies to watch" section, were movies like Outbreak and the Andromeda Strain. The tv channels should be playing their A List movies back-to-back or as we call the top priority songs here at the station- 'N1' category movies. Take advantage of the fact that people are going to be at home! Same for home-deliveries! Special offer on pork or whatever.

You want to get back at em swines?

Burn that thing with our new buy 2 get 2 free non-veg offer!*

Alternatively, my cousin also stated that more people die in road accidents in Pune everyday than the number of swine flu victims per day, yet the rider and pillion will sit contently with surgical masks on and no helmets. He went on to propose that since there is no real news to talk about, swine flu may be taking the helm by default, since politics, IPL, ICC and everything else has gone cold, and that the best solution was probably to go ahead and release Kaminey. But it is not, so this leaves us with another empty weekend to spend with the family. Not that I have any issues with that, but lets just hope Rush Hour is playing on HBO and not The Relic**.

*Conditions apply.

**Has anyone really seen this? The monster was pretty bad ass, chewing that guy in half.

The Directors are/have losing/lost it.

2009-08-04T08:23:00.005+05:30

This post was sparked after watching Love Aaj Kal twice in the theatre. But it was set into motion, after hearing some excellent news this morning, which I shall get to later.
My cousin and I have lengthy discussions about how Directors in the Indian Film Industry(IFI) have a slight curse or disease whichever/whatever, that after making one excellent film, the follow can prove to be so disappointing that we agree that he had pretty much one good idea in his little idea locker or that it was a stroke of luck. I have a theory that no Indian director of current times and of mainstream cinema has been able to complete the 3-awesome-movie(s) streak: cause thats what it takes to be considered real freakin' good and among the top. Consistency. Consistency is how I have based this post, and please note that this means these directors are not capable (God I wish they were) but it seems that after making a big grossing hit, their heads go up into clouds until, inevitably, their next effort flops- actually flop is a bad word to use, mainly because sometimes their next movie may be excellently recieved and may go on to win multiple awards at multiple ceremonies(As we have no dearth of them) and be a high grosser; but it still also may suck. Bad.
Jodhaa Akbar, I'm looking at you, man.

Aditya Chopra. Some may remember him as the writer/director of DDLJ. An excellent movie with lots of great songs and funny dialogues and special moments; with high degree of quotability (I made up that word). He then made Mohabattein and Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi. Nuff' said.

Farhan Akthar. Man, I love this guy, for the sole reason that he could write/direct Dil Chahta Hai; which was the movie every Indian youth could finally be proud of, and then promptly make the less successful but equally important Lakshya, which was completely different in style and story. I loved it.
Then came Don, which just didn't cut it.

Ashutosh Gowarikar. He made movie freakin' history, with Lagaan, which was such a unique tale in fusing the two great passions that all Indians possess: Cricket and Movies. Needless to say I was bowled over (pun intended). Then came Swades, equally moving tale of the return of the NRI to the I. Beautiful music, great direction and excellent performances.
And then there was Jodhaa Akbar...

Sanjay Leela Bhansali. The only man who can make Salman Khan act (he should be given an award just for that!), made the wonderfully tragic Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam, then the award winning Black. But then came Devdas which was gaudy to behold. He also made Saawariya, which is still to date the most beautifully-stylized Hindi movie I've seen, however the little or lack of story pretty much killed the entire effort, so it doesn't count.

Again, I have complete faith in these directors to accomplish (well, except for Aditya Chopra) but the news that made me write this post in the first place was about Rakeysh Omprakash Mehra (Rang De Basanti, Delhi-6). This bit of news is significant proof that some directors still have their heads screwed on the right way. Though Delhi-6 bombed at the box-office, I really liked the movie; that is right up till the last 20 minute sequence which kind of bummed me out since I felt the script did itself in by having a happy ending to what should have been a grim one to maintain the message displayed throughout the movie. I also remember discussing with my cousins the moment we left the theatre that the director probably succumbed to the wishes of the producers/distributors. However the news yesterday was that RO Mehra had decided to restore the original ending for film festival audiences, as he was never happy with it, and subsequently the film was accepted into the Venice film festival. Apparently he wouldn't have died in peace if the movie was not brought back to its original script.
Huh. Who'da thunk?
I can't even imagine how often directors across India are caving to the pressures of the distributors these days. Maybe even Ram Gopal Varma's Aag wasn't too shabby. But jokes aside, at least we've still got Anurag Kashyap.

The Amul Girl: The Taste of India

2009-07-30T14:20:00.004+05:30

Ello All,

My most honest, most tangible dream is to help create (be) India's version of Jon Stewart. He's clever, he's funny and most importantly, you'll always agree with him.

Here in India, sadly there is no one comic to challenge the system. What we do have, is a little girl. A little girl with chubby rosy cheeks, a pony tail and no visible nose. For the past 32 years, she's been such a large part of this nation's middle class.

Mocking movies, politics or just about anything in the news, every friday people will peer out of their cars or homes for the nearest Amul billboard to see what she has to say.

When Cheeni Kum came out, she said 'Butter Zyaada', when stocks were dropping she called it the 'Nonsensex', and more recently, when the Bandra Worli Sealink came up, she said:

'Early To Worli: No Jam, only Butter.'

A while back, I'd bitched and cribbed about how for some reason, India doesn't have any good Mascots it can lay claim to, but the truth is, we may very well have the greatest Mascot of all.

The Guinness book of world records may acknowledge it as the world's longest ad campaign but the truth is, Sylvester DaCunha's creation has become far more than that.

The plan was to make a mascot who could 'worm her way into the heart of every housewife' and the cute little girl in a polka dot dress did just that. Presently, no brand comes close to the sales of Amul butter and quite frankly, no brand ever will.

It's not that the butter is any better. It's just that for 32 years we've giggled with the same girl and we don't intend on ever changing that.

The Air India man keeps losing weight, the Boomer man doesn't seem to stay for very long at all, and the young doctor who fed his cows chewing gum disappeared. The Amul Baby stuck around.

From an advertising point of view, it's incredible. Every ad man worth his salt will use Amul as an example of a brand's staying value.

From a political cartoonist's point of view, it's the toughest possible competition. With the greatest of respect to RK Laxman, 7 out of 10 times, the Amul Girl's the one I'll tell my friends about.

From a business point of view, it's a 2500% sales increase.

Most importantly though, from an Indian's point of view, I get a free joke every week, and the best part is, there's a cute little girl smiling at me while I get it.

My other dream is to have a Wikipedia page about me. But I'd be totally psyched if I'm big enough to be mentioned in an Amul ad.

To the Amul girl, thank you for all the years of being so very Utterly Butterly Delicious. To the readers here's a few hours worth of some of the things she said.

Music Review: Paolo Nutini's Sunny Side Up

2009-07-24T14:03:00.005+05:30

Ello All
This review is brought to you from a bus heading to Pune (It’s a We The Conference of drunken ramblings thing…very hush hush) and my net has just enough juice to post this.
The bright side is I didn’t want to do this post loaded with research the way we usually do. I want it to be just my experience listening to and loving this album. I’d just like to make clear that this album will probably not achieve much commercially but anyone who loves Paolo enough to hear it out is going to have themselves a few very cheerful days.
Kyra dropped this off with me with a disclaimer: ‘It’s no These Streets, but it’s great’ I suppose it’s true, but let me just say, for whatever reason I did not have such love for These Streets as I do for this one.
Every album leaves a sort of a movie in your mind. This album’s movie, for me, is a whole lot of chilling in rooms made of wood, sitting by a small pond in a damp patch of grass and smoking a cigarette. Only to run back into a bigger room made of wood where you sit around in old clothes laughing your guts out and following your every whim. Oh and every actor has a strong Scotch accent.
I’ve always envied artistes for whom lyrics and melodies are just natural translations of shit that’s happened, and every note that he strums or crones feels like he’s effortlessly just singing out loud. ‘People want to speed it up, but I just want ta slow it down’
These may not be some of the greatest love songs ever, but man, Terry Brogen (his girlfriend) is one of the luckiest women alive. The love, the passion the freaking heart that this guy throws into his songs are so incredibly moving they don’t make you want to cry, they make your chest swell because you want to lift a glass up to him and sing right along.
The music is simple, and kind of old, lots of upstrums, trumpets and rumble drums. Perfect for someone enjoying the hell out of life who needs a platform to just spurt out the awesomeness of it all.
Every time I hear this album I want to be in Scotland chilling with Paolo, watching him Romba with ‘his baby’ while he coos and caws excitedly! Then I realize, I kind of freaking am. Right from the album art (Which I must point out Kyra has expertly deciphered. Let’s hope she offers a detailed decryption for us all) the overriding feeling of this album is a warm, cosy welcome to a whole bunch of stories and a pint with them all.
A big hug to Paolo Nutini, if ever he reads this, Thanks for showing us how to live life with the Sunny Side up.
It would seem unprofessional, but for a more coherent analysis of the album, do check out John Hurst's site.

The Iglesian Influence!

2009-07-23T08:56:00.005+05:30

A few days ago I was in Landmark buying a gift for one of my friends, and just like all music stores they had a CD playing. I could almost instantly recognize it as an Enrique Iglesias song, and as I continued shopping, I vaguely hummed along with the melody. I got home and realized I couldn't get the song out of my head! It was there all the time, the lyrics moving me, the melody slowly lifting and subsiding in my mind! What was this song? And more importantly, why was it buzzing around in my mind?
Because thats what he does.

As any musically inclined/blogger would do, I researched! First off I went and I got the name of the song. I sat wondering for a long time, though the answer seemed almost simple enough, is that like everyone knows already, I am a major pop-fan. I sing pop, write pop, and I enjoy it. But why was someone like Enrique Iglesias, who I've liked in general but was mostly whatever about, affecting me like something viral?
Enrique's Dad is Julio Iglesias, one of the most successful and best selling artists of all time, selling over 300 albums, and man has he released a lot of albums! Barring that, when you see the man, you can clearly make-out that he has the class of the yesteryear, that seems lacking today or that has been made hybrid by people like Michael Bublè or Alicia Keys. He can definitely sing well; one of my dad's friends who is a huge fan of his once said "Ahh that Julio Iglesias; he could make love to a woman just by his voice". So that settles that.
I asked myself, really, what does Enrique have going for him? He can sing alright I guess, his voice is nothing spectacular. Neither are his performances. He had his father's shadow to crawl out of (to which I might add he has done an admirable job) and well, he had Ricky Martin to deal with. What he does have is that he is goodlooking, and that could very well account for the much adoration from his female fandom. But its still not that.
I went back to the store looking for that one song*, and I realized that they were playing it off his greatest hits album. I was a little wowed. While I knew that he had released a greatest hits album sometime ago, it just struck me that this guy had still been around for so long and has done so much work he could produce a greatest hits collection. The other funny thing was that when I turned the CD around to look at the songs on it, I realized I knew every single one. So this post if not anything else, is to celebrate the achievement of Enrique and his trusty songwriters, cause man if you can produce catchy-song after the next for 10 years, your doing a pretty kickass job.
And let's face it, everyone really digs the songs, right?

God, I am such a sucker for pop.

*The song was 'Maybe' from his 2001 album 'Escape'.

A Month of Action

2009-07-22T10:01:00.006+05:30

Ello all
It's been exactly 10 days since any of us posted last and I think you'd agree, that's ten days too many. I could say it was a religious thing, I could say we were introspective and hence mute and I could even say we were all struck by a 9 day terminal illness which was cured by a batch of happy cookies. I could all say, 'quit whining and read on for the next damn post!'
SO last month, this summer's action movies all descended on India over the course of four very very hardcore weeks. I had the pleasure of watching all of them and instead of doing reviews for each I felt, the four films in question deserved nothing more than a comparative analysis.
Which means- ANOTHER LIST! Woohoo!
4. Wolverine:
All of last summer played a video game called Ultimate Alliance. At every level, witout fail, the stand out beat down character was Wolverine. Catchphrases, cool moments and an amazing array of powers. We were freaking psyched. Most of you know how that turned out.
The action was lame, the storyline was lamer, the delivery of catchphrases worse. The acting was ordinary at best and the only thing that really surprised me about the movie was that it wasn't directed by McG. Shameful waste of a character. Shameful waste of our time.
2/10 (For the two minutes of Ryan Reynolds)
3. Terminator: Salvation
As soon as this movie was done, and indeed for a good few hours after it, I hated it. Barely any plotline, barely any notable acting, and loopholes all over the place. But since then, I've started thinking about it, and perhaps it's the fact that I have Wolverine for reference, but you know what? Terminator was a pretty bad ass movie. Screw the plotline and screw the loopholes. I haven't seen action like that since the Matrix trilogy (Remember the third one and you'll see where I'm coming from). Ruthless, non stop, create-and-destroy-the-elaborate-set-leaving-a-mess action. Punching someone's heart out, robot bikes coming out of robot shins- that is freaking sweet. In fact given a choice, I'd do it all over again.
7/10
2. Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen
This one just barely pips Terminator and that's only because any kid with a TV in the 90s grew up loving and admiring Optimus Prime and to see him become as hardcore ass whopping as he was in this movie was a total freaking treat. I think the best description (only) for this movie would be as a Hindi Movie. Michael Bay probably won't be allowed any more sequels but that's alright. He was upto his usual sweeping shots-acoustic strumming-emotional send off self. The non fight scenes were long and dreary and after a while really quite irritating. Megan Fox is officially the first Hollywood Item girl. All she needed was a dance troupe and we'd have the greatest ever Hindi Movie.
Shia LeBouf was decent enough and the mum was pretty funny, but the two nigga-bots stole the show. There was a line from them which really summed up this movie experience for me:
-"Ah MAN! That Hurt!"
-"It's supposed to! it's an Ass Whooping!"
7/10 (If I was single perhaps Megan Fox could've earned two more points.)
1. Star Trek
I've been petrified to review this one. I wanted to, but man. Suffice it to say, for the uninitiated, JJ Abrams has a new sign outside his office- 'THE MAN'.
A watertight plotline, flawless casting, super duper send me to Pluter special effects, and more than anything else one of the most perfect scripts I've ever noticed. By far the movie of the year so far (And we've even had freaking Hangover).
If I go any further with this review it'll turn into a puff peice so I won't. Let me just say this- when I have kids, I will proudly, even smugly tell them, that I was there when JJ Abrams gave the world Star Trek.
9/10 (1 point of for ending. Not the ending, just the movie ever ending. Like the end of an Ice Cream cone- Yea yea enjoy what you had but I WANT FREAKING MORE!!)

So a month of very 80s very hard hitting action. And the best part is, GI Joe isn't out yet!
I just got goosebumps.

Dum dum Duh duh dum!

Let's just hope these Kaminey...

2009-07-12T19:35:00.015+05:30

I have a problem. Let me just state for the record that over the past couple of years and since coming to India, I have been converted into a big Hindi movie fan. I am completely loyal to the industry, I believe in them and I know they have the capacity to make excellent films- they have proved it in the past on many occasions. However, they have also proved to be quite unreliable based on the frequency of how often a decent movie is released. Now, my problem is that every time I watch a good Hindi film trailer(and boy are there many) I am faced with a dilemma- do I invest in these movies emotionally by looking forward to it, and hope that it will be the next Dil Chahta Hai or Swades? Or do I cautiously and safely curb my enthusiasm till I see the final product? Hindi films let me down- most of the time. Sometimes there is a pleasant surprise, like the awesome DevD but lets face facts- Ghajini, Chandni Chowk to China and 8x10 Tasveer have all been thoroughly disappointing even though they had the potential to be super kickass. I went for all of these movies first-day-first-show and came back dejected with the Indian Film Industry. But then slowly I forget about their mistakes and get roped right back into the game with the next big release. I have, however seen the error in my ways and been able to see the good ones from the bad, and believe me it is not hard to spot. 'Kambhakkt Ishq' was the single greatest waste of money on film. Like Rajeev Masand said, Rs 60 crores could have gone to so many better causes, and it would have been just one less film for Akshay Kumar* to ruin his career with.
But still got to love that guy!

This season has been filled the most big-budget films from hollywood, and the barrage has not yet ended. So with the IPL and ICC T20 well out of the way, the movies have been streaming in and with Transformers 2 in theatres and HP6 on the way, I really want to see where our Indian mainstream cinema is standing. We had New York (and a fairly healthy discussion about it too!), Khambakkht Ishq and soon to release is Luck pairing Sanjay Dutt and Imran Khan again (You remember how that last one turned out- Kidnap...the scriptwriter).
Ever since I saw the trailer at the Delhi-6 premiere, there is one movie that is grabbing my attention and that I must see on opening day. Vishal Bhardwaj's Kaminey.

This is not a heavily disguised puff-piece but man this shit looks good. I have been thoroughly impressed with his adaptations of Macbeth(Maqbool) and Othello(Omkara), which I still maintain is one of the greatest dramas that the Industry has ever produced. He has openly stated that the lack of good scripts and scriptwriters is the primary reason why he turns to Shakespeare for a decent story. For me personally, that directors can recognise the fact that their are not good scripts being written for screen currently, is an achievement. I don't care, take your time, don't make a movie for like a year or two, but don't produce until you've got the goods, man.
Kaminey comes off as a very Guy Ritchie-esque dramedy, with an array of wonderfully wierd characters, like Shahid Kapur's two characters in the film(Yes, it's a double role) Charlie and Guddu with their speech defects and the completely uncouth don played by Amole Gupte.
The soundtrack is awesome with 'Dhan Te Nan' that blew my mind when I heard it. A kickass track reminding me just enough of the pulp fiction theme, to get me completely psyched for this.
But yes I know, this could be another run-of-the-mill flicks that is produced so often that can get my hopes screwed once again. But really, who knows man? That is the prospect that excites me sometimes even more than the movie itself: What if. What if this is the movie that really steps it up? What if this is the movie I was looking for in Ghajini, or in Tasveer? What if this is the awesome Hindi movie? What if.
Whatever it is, I hope its not regular. That should be the norm; either you completely freak out the audience by wierding it out, or just be shit. Don't give me normal. The cast is capable. The director is more than capable. Please, let this be the one.

*He is seriously the only thing good about that movie.

In Bollywood's defence...

2009-07-09T22:55:00.002+05:30

Ello All,
I just read a post by our very dear friend Anish . He watched New York and, very clearly did not like it. He's never been a Bollywood fan and you know what, it's hard to blame him. But, there's a trend I've found, usually in Indians living abroad (who have to sort of shoulder any labels attached to Bollywood and indeed ANYTHING Indian) wherein it's not that they don't like Bollywood but it's almost like it's offensive to them. Before I go any further I want to establish that to Anish and any other haters of Bollywood, I completely respect your opinions and am not in any way judging your arguments.
The trend I just mentioned, is the analysis of Hindi movies, with the expectations of English movies.
Here's the deal. We got the camera at the same time, if not before the likes of America. But we got it in very different situations. America was in the middle of a cultural boom (which is natural when you're making one from scratch) and we were in a sort of cultural rape, as I like to call it.
Satyajit Ray was just as boring and intense as say, Citizen Kane. Some of our actors and actresses were just as stunning and moving as some of theirs. But the movement was never on the same track. Not to say that either track was better, just that they were parallel and never intertwining.
Cut to today, while our drama flick of the month is New York, America's undoubtedly got a whole bunch of equally dramatic films coming out. For me, as a movie goer, sure, New York probably won't be without disclaimer, but the point is, as I've said time and time again, I AM NOT THE TARGET AUDIENCE.
The quote when you scroll down and look left will certainly seem hypocritical now, but the truth is, it's taken me almost two and half years of living in this country (and significantly- this city, Mumbai) for me to finally appreciate the intricate difference between film making in the Indian subcontinent and film making abroad.
In Tunisia, there is a film maker who makes films with his buddies and has his entire town in splits. Think Sweding but with slightly more original scripts. India's kind of like that. Our threshold for 'anything on film' has certainly decreased over the years but ultimately, our culture of watching films is nothing like the culture of watching English films.
You watch something like Star Trek for the story, the references, the ideas, the metaphors and the acting.
We watch Singh is Kinng for the dialogues, for the plot twists and the songs.
For God's sake we refuse to watch movies that are anything less than 2 hours long. Why? 'Because, dude, if I'm going to pay hundred rupees, atleast two hours ka film should be there na?'
There's a reason Indians get upset when people mock Indian movies. It's not for any reason. It's because if you insult an Indian film you're insulting our entire culture. You're insulting the way we laugh and eat a meal with our hands. You're insulting the way we'll watch serials with loud 'DHA DHA DHUMS!' just so that while we're getting food ready for the family, we don't miss too much because it's in slow motion anyway.
If Anish says New York is crap, I'll almost certainly agree when I DO see it. I'll concede that there is an air of stagnation in the industry. I'll concede that the way films are made here is often despicable. And I'll even concede that all you need is a pair of giant knockers (male or female) to earn in the industry.
But you cannot judge an Indian film with a normal eye. You HAVE to empathise and you HAVE to see it as though you're an Indian yourself. The same way we'll excuse random camera shifts and random cinematics in an uber deep french movie, we have to excuse the seemingly 'lesser' cinematics in our movies because, as I said earlier, they aren't made for us.
Basically, any Indian growing up with an international outlook is either completely isolated in that there's rarely any movies targetting us.
OR.
We're essentially smarter than everyone else because we can love ANYTHING.
The second option appeals to me a bit more. What about you?

Love & Paper Beds.

2009-07-05T15:07:00.008+05:30

Restlessness can either be good or bad. In my case, its bad because I dont seem to be finding an appropriate outlet for my restlessness - apart from getting cranky. In one of my fits of restlessness and excessive web wanderlust, I stumbled on this site: Learning to Love You More. It's one of those rare websites that encourages you to do silly things that you'd never really think of and makes it meaningful. The most mundane of things, like making a bed or braiding your hair can become art, as long as you really feel it.

I laughed when I first found the website. It seemed unecessarily cheesy and I didnt see how doing any of the stupid "assignments" on the list could help you love you more. Then, stunned to see how many thousands of people had actually completed and posted their completed assignments, I figured, what the hell. I have nothing better to do anyway. I closed my eyes and picked a number from 1 - 70, and picked my lucky number, 16. Assignment #16, to my utter dismay, turned out to be " Make a paper replica of your bed" Of all the writing assignments the site has, I had to pick an arty crafty thing, that Harry could do full justice to, while I'd land up with a mess and many papercuts.

In the end, I figured that getting out of my comfort zone could only be a good thing, and if I messed up, well, no-one would ever have to know. So I made my paper bed. I made a mess, and I got paper cuts, but while I was making it, in my room, with the music blaring, I felt some of the restlessness fade. For the first time since I officially graduated, I felt content and happy, with my little bits of paper constructing a silly little paper bed. "Like a recipe, meditation practice, or familiar song, the prescriptive nature of these assignments is intended to guide people towards their own experience" The sentence just seemed like a bunch of flowery mush, when I first read it on the site. Now, it makes perfect sense.

Sometimes you just need to use your hands and create. Sometimes its good to just forget about work and study and all things sane, and do something you wouldnt ordinarily do. For some moments or hours, stop thinking about everything you think about. And you might just remember what you were like before you were consumed with work, money, rent, exams, scholarships, roomates, lovers, recession or even traffic and a lack of parking spaces. You'll forget about being broke, being tired, being unemployed, being homeless, being cranky, being lonely, or just being plain pissed off.

Instead you'll reread a favourite book from 5th grade, write the phone calls you wish you could have, make the phone call someone else wished they could have, take a photograph of strangers holding hands, braid someone's hair, grow a garden in an unexpected spot, cover the song "Dont dream its over" , or draw a constellation on someone's freckles.

Do the assignments. Do all, do one, do some. It'll be nice to remember what life and love felt like before life took over.

Ps - Yes, I know that is a terrible paper bed, but what do you expect from a pack of cards and wrapping paper?

The Power of Blog

2009-07-04T01:00:00.003+05:30

Ello all,
Today's a post is a particularly self indulgent one in that it relates directly to the very medium I'm using. And now I've just spoken about the post itself. Yowza.
Anyway, a few friends from college have started a very earnest blog that'll relate to their course in Journalism. So far they've not really picked up much pace, but pretty soon, I think they'll really take off. Thing is, it really got me thinking about the sheer power of blogging, and while I'm sure it's been said more than enough, but the blogosphere RULES!
For Tejas and me, our first tastes of it were when Anish insisted we gave it a shot, and the first thing that really struck me was the kind of freedom I had. I could say what I wanted, how I wanted and when I wanted it.
Initially it was this very self serving 'express all opinions' type rush, but now I've realised just how significant this freedom is. I can mention the deepest, sometimes darkest feelings and thoughts, without worrying about selling, or copyrights, or any sort of control. And while yes, it sounds very rebellious to have that, the really awesome part is, the kind of re assurance one can get from the other, sometimes random people who not only tolerate but sometimes even agree with these feelings.
If I write poorly I won't lose anything. If I say something bad I won't lose anything. If I, on the other hand, just do it, there's so much I can gain.
This is a blog for the few people I know who either will soon start blogging, or have started blogging already. The blogs I have enjoyed most, both writing and reading, have been those blogs which have come out of the sheer need to blurt out what's being felt. Anish's best posts are always the ones where he's too impassioned to care whether or not he's making sense. Kyra's posts are always immaculate because they're always so purely ridden with feeling and thought, which ordinarily would be hidden.
If you're reading this, tell a non blogger friend, that in a world of nearly 7 billion people, the supply of human interaction completely overpowers the demand for it, and the best friend you'll ever find, is you're keyboard. It doesn't judge you, it doesn't question you, and every so often, it finds you someone who'll love you to peices.
I will end with a quote we've used before, but it's totally apt:
'Go on. Try it y'self! Blogging!'

Once more for Michael

2009-07-01T08:37:00.004+05:30

By now there may be almost a million posts about him, and yet it feels wrong not honour him with a post of our own on this blog. What to talk about? I could once again talk about how he single-handedly changed music or even revolutionised the modern music video. I could say that Michael was the humanitarian, and donated large chunks of profits to charity, or plainly that he is the greatest breakdancer in history. But of course he is more than all that. Michael Jackson was black, white, famous, infamous, bad, lonely, inspiring and a smooth criminal. For me (and I guess a for a lot of people) Michael Jackson is one of the first artists I could properly associate with music as a kid. I remember owning 'Dangerous' on audio casette and later on 'Thriller', and if I can remember clearly I think there's a home video of me dancing madly to 'Jam'; I shake my legs wildly as I sing random words to fit MJ's quick lyrics. Thinking back I realise how MJ came so much earlier than most of my other musical influences like Backstreet Boys and Elvis Presley. Anyway, so I decided I'd write about what my favourite things about the man are.
Here are my Top 5 Favourite Michael Jackson things:

5. Come Together by Michael Jackson - This was my ringtone for a really long time, he took this already kick-ass song and somehow made it his own. I really thought that this was his song and not the other way round. But man, even the King of Pop had to cover the freakin' Beatles!

4. The Red Leather Jacket from Beat it - Out of all MJ's quirky get ups (some supreme, some not so much) this is my favourite. The pushed up sleeves when he does he the pull-grab move in the video looks soooooooooo cool. I have wanted a jacket like this forever and seriously who hasn't?

3. Lyrical/Vocal Ability - Anyone can sing awesome lyrics well. Beat it and Thriller are so cool to sing cause they have fun and catchy lyrics, but what do you do when you want to sing about a cause? How do you do it without making it sound corny or too forced? You do it like Michael Jackson. MJ has plenty of preachy songs that don't even sound so cause he makes the transition so easily. He blurs the line between awesome music and good intent, which so many artists (Sheryl Crow, though I love you, take a damn leaf!) fail to do today. Black or White, They Don't Really Care About Us, Man in the Mirror, We are the World, etc.

2. The Moonwalk - How would this not be here? I know theres all that bullshit surrounding the fact that "He didn't invent it" and " its originally by someone else"; you know what? Balls to that. There is only one person who can incorporate it seamlessly as a deathdefying act into his array of already badass moves and that's Michael. The black shoes and smart white socks catch your eye too easily.
You watch Bille Jean Live. You go 2 and a half minutes in. You wait for the musical break.
1 2 3 4.
And then you wonder why this man ever died.

1. Legacy - You really have to thank your stars for Michael being as big as he was. He really is the last great. I have lived in the life and times of Michael Jackson, I was his contemporary and that is seriously one of the things to tell the kids someday. The Beatles were a group of people, who died individually (well half of them anyway) and it didn't leave that great an impact. Freddie Mercury who is awesome, still isn't in the same league. Elvis is probably the only one, and just like that, Michael Jackson is only one. There is and always will be one Michael Jackson.

Sorry bro, RIP.

Puppy Power: The Top 10 Dog movies

2009-06-25T22:02:00.007+05:30

Ello All,

Readers who have read my blog may know that I have a huge respect for Dogs and the things they do. They may even know, that some of the most memorable moments, we the writers have shared have been with dogs, and so I figure it's about freaking time we list out some of our favorite on screen canines. Bear in mind the list is the top CHARACTERS and not films. So without any further ado....

10. Old Yeller (1957)
As a movie this is one of those old classics that you completely love but can't watch more than once, unless you're you know, Kyra. But the golden lab they got to play the mongrel in the movie will certainly always be one of my favorite on screen characters. He was the ideal dog. He was loyal and loving and sacrificing and the kind of guy you'd grow up to write a book about. I don't know about the book, but the movie certainly delivered to an entire generation of parents, one of the greatest Catch 22s a kid could lob at you- 'Mommy, can we get a puppy?'

9. Top Cop Dogs:
The idea of a dog as a cop's partner has sort of been run down by now, but there are two utter classics for me, which feature two actors from my favorite generation of hollywood humans.
The first is K9 (1989). James Belushi and his trusty sidekick Jerry Lee were the ultimate bachelor crime fighters. Replete with the 'HE'S DESTROYED MY HOUSE' scenes and the ultimate sacrifice in the end, Jerry Lee was one bad ass dog. He was one of those few dogs with a real personality that totally deserved to be on the tonight show.
The second is Turner & Hooch (1989). Somehow this movie didn't do well, but this was the film that sparked my love for Tom Hanks. Hooch, is the slobbery cuddly lump of stud sniffer dog pal of Turner played by hanks who is trying to crack down on a a huge case in a little city. The film features one of my favorite canine-human bonding moments, with Hanks and Beasley the dog on a stakeout.
I should also mention the giant sheep dog from Christian Slater's excellent Cuffs.

8. Cats and Dogs (2001)
Now here was a movie with a great idea, executed horribly, but featuring some of the cutest animals on screen. Frankly, you don't need much more than that to get by. For me the stand out performance from a dog was Lou the beagle voiced by Tobey Maguire. Mr Tinkles, the evil white cat voiced by Sean Hayes deserves credit, but I'm going to stick to one species here.
Lou was like the Michael J Fox of the dog world. Cute, cocky and boyishly charming. Certainly, the beagle must be the most under rated breed of dog in movies.

7. See Spot Run (2001)
The English Mastiff (I may be wrong...) Spot is easily one of the most complex character metaphors I've seen yet. He's a dog who's not a dog. He's been in the FBI so long he's lost his doggy nature and become a run down hard ass. The chemistry between him and David Arquette is amazing, and I was quite amazed to see the film pull off the story line as well as they did.
That dog made me think.

6. Homeward bound (1993)
It's so very typical for studios to take anything cute and stretch it till it's no longer cute, so I'm not even going to mention the sequel to the film. The old wise Lab and the goof ball boxer with the cynical cat combination was so delightfully perfect, only Disney could've accomplished it. One of the most moving films in the genre, but more than that the role of the Lab as the wise old man was stunning. His chin was always up and his mane always perfect, just like his posture. I wish I was his nephew.
That and the boxer and the porcupine scene, make these two, for me, one of the best canine chemistries on screen.

5. 101 Dalmations (1961)
If Walt Disney ever wanted, he could have become one of the greatest advertisers of all time. The man knew people like nobody's business. He knew what people wanted to be. He understood personality and he understood love like very few other film makers. There is not a single puppy in 101 Dalmations anyone will forget in a hurry. Rolly will forever reduce even the most serious of people into a puddle of 'habubucheebu' when they think back to his fat little bum stuck in the hole. And Roger and Perdita will always be the ideal parents everyone will want their kids to see them as.

4. Lady and the Tramp (1955)
Who here has never actually tried the spaghetti kiss or atleast wanted to? Scooby Doo may be the highest grossing animated dog, but face it, nobody drew dogs like Disney. Lady is undoubtedly one of the classiest dames there is and the Tramp is one of the coolest men there is. The Audrey Hepburn-Peter O'Toole of the animated world.
Oh and let's not forget the smoothest dog around- Billy Joel's role as Dodger in Oliver and co. (Thanks to Kyra for the correction)

3. Lassie (1954)

Here's the thing. Lassie movies may be seen as trite. They may be seen as contrived and cheesy, but Lassie was one of the most beautiful creatures to ever grace a television screen. I could try for hours to compare her to an actress but I'd never come close, because the truth is, nobody could match up to not just her stunning good looks, but her utterly pure, inimitably beautiful personality. If I make it to heaven, she's the first celebrity I'm looking up.

2. Beethoven (1992)
I think till about age 14, this was actually my favorite movie ever. Sure the studios sucked it dry with the most ridiculous remakes, but the first one is genius. The single shot walk through the park scene where he licks the little girl's ice cream and the perfectly juxtaposed 'Roll Over Beethoven' scenes are brilliant, but for me the greatest part of the movie, is the look on the St. Bernard's face when they walk into the mud covered room and he's sitting on the bed. You may not be able to teach a dog new tricks, but when the guy's a born actor you've hit the jackpot...

1. Marley and Me (2008)
I realise I'm alone in this view, but this movie deserved an Oscar. Not only is it one of the greatest depictions of married life, it also features the greatest final farewell scene I have ever seen. The part at the end when Owen Wilson runs his hand over all of Marley's soft parts made me ache, it was so perfect.
But the undoubted star of the film was the dog/ dogs they got to play Marley the Dog. I'm yet to read the book, but everything I've heard about Marley in it was perfect. In particular the scene where Marley's taken Jennifer Aniston's necklace in his mouth and he's just staring at them as they slowly approach him. I was convinced that was CGI. just brilliant. Even the look on his face when he realises her water's broken and the time he puts his head on her lap after the miscarriage. As far as performances go it was perfect. There was no contrived scenes of 'cute pooch' gimicks. It was all real, all believable and all incredibly moving. A feat impossible without the tremendous performance of Jonah the lab.

There you have it. My top ten dog stars. Mention anyone I've left out, and don't count on a list of top ten cats. Let's face it- cats are evil.
Roof.

Gilmore Girls : Life's Short, Talk Fast.

2009-06-22T19:03:00.007+05:30

Gilmore Girls effectively ended two years ago. However, thanks to the fact that it doesn’t seem to air in India (except for a while at an abysmal hour on Zee Café) and erratic Abu Dhabi visits (when a season would never be on air) I only got to catch up with the last two seasons now.

It was heartrending, all the memories that show brought up. Ive been watching Gilmore Girls since I was in High School, back in the good old days, when Wednesday nights were primetime viewing because Thursday/Friday still constituted a weekend. It was a mommy and me tradition and we never missed an episode.

Rory: What's with the carrots?

Lorelai: I was afraid you weren't eating well at school.

Rory: Ohhh.

Lorelai: Marshmallow?

I think you’ll be hard-pressed to find a mother-daughter (those that get along as well as those who don’t) who don’t fall hook, line and sinker for this show. Yes, the characters talk too fast, yes, Stars Hollow doesn’t even exist (and a town as awesome as that really should), but a show as warm and as intelligent as that deserved to run for years and years and years.

One of the main reasons I loved this show was an inherent theme that ran throughout the show from episode 1 to the Bon Voyage episode in Season 7 – Books. The writers of Gilmore Girls (the Palladino’s are GODS) made sure that every other sentence had a cultural/literary reference. They understood, how underrated books were in American teenage television. In the O.C, in 90210 – it’s all about sex, breaking up and hooking up. In the Gilmore Girls however, a book is a symbol of your identity, an understanding of whom you are as a person as well as whom you want to be. “ I live in a world of books. I’ve been a resident of Faulkner’s Yoknapatawpha County, hunted the white whale aboard the Pequod, fought alongside Napoleon, sailed a raft with Huck and Jim, committed absurdities with Ignatius J. Reilly, rode a sad train with Anna Karenina, and strolled down Swann’s Way” – Rory’s High School Graduation Speech. There have been at least a dozen books Rory Gilmore has introduced me to, that will remain favorites forever.

Lorelai: Rory never even shoplifted. Not a candy bar, not a lipstick. She forgot to return a library book once. And she was so guilty about it that she grounded herself. I mean, can you imagine? She's just sitting there in her bedroom yelling at me, "Now no one else got to read the Iliad this week because of me!"

For the Gilmore Girls, unlike the characters of The O.C/90210 etc, high heels and handbags aren’t the ultimate accessory. Books are. In the first episode, Rory meets her first boyfriend, Dean (Jared Padalecki), when he spots her reading Madame Bovary and later Moby Dick under a tree: "I thought, 'I have never seen someone read so intensely before in my life. I have to meet that girl.' " In a later season, Jess (Milo Ventimiglia) borrows Rory's copy of Allen Ginsberg's* Howl and returns it with notes scribbled in the margins. The two soon embark on a typically angst-ridden romance, where the exchange of books plays a large role.

Season 7, the final season of Gilmore Girls plainly showed the absence of the Palladino’s. As soon as I watched the first episode of the season, I knew something was wrong. The dialogue was as wordy as ever, but no longer witty. Overall, it was a disappointing season – made up for by the last episode. I didn’t just cry, I blubbered. I wept and wept till I ran out of tissues. Once I got another box of tissues, I wept some more. It was beautiful, because the Gilmore Girls themselves, didn’t cry once, despite the fact that they would be separated for months, if not years. They ironed tshirts, they shopped, they didn’t talk, they talked, and the show ended the same way the show began 7 years ago – at Luke’s diner, in the early hours of the morning, just before Rory Gilmore takes off to be a political reporter on the trail of Obama’s presidential campaign.

Rory: Who are the rosary beads for?

Lorelai: They're mine.

Rory: What do you need rosary beads for?

Lorelai: They're cute.

Rory: They're for prayer.

Lorelai: Well, pray they match my blue suit.

Rory: They've just upgraded you to a queen-size bed, jacuzzi tub, junior suite in hell

Cliché, though it may seem, I always felt prettier, and wittier and wiser after watching Gilmore Girls. Not only do I talk (much) faster than normal, I’m chirpier and wiser. Ask Harry. He has spoken to me pre-Gilmore Girls viewing and post-Gilmore Girls viewing and can tell the difference by now. It wasn’t just about the books, or the addiction to coffee, or the compulsive eating, or even the witty dialogues. It was them. You fell in love with the Gilmore Girls, because they were awesome. End of story. They were funny, and smart and brave and had pretty much no-one else but each other. And I, for one, am a better person for knowing them intimately for seven years.

Lorelai: Tell me a joke.

Rory: Knock knock.

Lorelai: [giggles] That was a good one.

The Prinze of Romance...Jr

2009-06-22T17:16:00.003+05:30

Ello All,

So a couple of nights ago I watched a movie called "Jack and Jill Vs. The World". Easily one of the worst films I've ever seen (Until I saw Wolverine a few hours later...). Predictable plot line, self righteous sub texts, and the annoying facial contortions of Taryn Manning.

But the one reason I put myself through it was because it starred Freddie Prinze Jr.

Around 2001 when I moved to Dubai and got my first taste of cable television (I was in boarding school and in the summers,on a farm) I caught a romantic comedy starring Julia Stiles and FPJ(He totally deserves an abbreviation). It was the quirky 'Down To You' and it left a huge impact on me.

Thing is, I was just hitting puberty and the only thing more embarassing than a cracking voice at that age, is admitting to watching chick flicks. A couple months ago I was lucky enough to watch it again, and I've got to say, screw guilty pleasures- Freddie Prinze Jr. freaking rules.

There's something about the way he'll bobble his head and pronounce his 'S's which is instantly appealing.

Not just that, but that string of 'Boys and Girls', 'Head over Heels' and 'Summer Catch' along with the earlier 'She's all that' are easily some of my favorite movies of all time.

I'd put them right up there with 10 things I hate about you, in my list of 'Top Movies to show to my kids when they still listen to me'.

The movies he picked were usually smart, slick and extremely funny with great sound tracks. And honestly, other than his usual boyish charm, he's never really done the same character type more than once. Even in the movie that instigated this post, Jack and Jill, he plays a bogged down Ad Exec and while the role instantly calls for stereotypical introspective glances, he played it entirely differently. (I'm not saying you should watch the film. If you're reading this blog we probably like you, so don't put yourself through it!)

The last I saw of him was in Boston Legal as Denny Crane's son and you know what, that's just not good enough for me.

The greatest thing to come out of that spurt of excellent Teenage Romantic Comedies between '95 and '02 was for me, the arrival of Freddie Prinze Jr.

Here's to more Freddie, or atleast a worthy replacement. And less of the mindless bullshit on offer nowadays.

Guitar Firsts

2009-06-21T10:31:00.002+05:30

I teach guitar in my spare time, and in that time I learn along with my students. More than music, I learn what my students think of music, and what they hope to achieve by learning it. Some want to learn cause its 'cool', and its great to impress girls with (And I strongly agree, it is). Some learn cause they want to be 'rockers' and want to be in a band. Also the music they want to learn as well is quite varied. One of my students wants to learn all the latest stuff being played on the radio and television, so that whenever he does play for people, he knows its all updated stuff; while some want to learn songs they haven't even heard before, but know that they are popular numbers, just so they're 'with it'. Whatever songs they do want to learn, it all means I've got to be on my toes constantly learning all the new stuff too. But there are some songs that all new guitarists must learn as their 'first full song' so that in the beginning when people ask, they know how to play at least one song decently. I have compiled a list of songs that are usually 'Guitar Firsts' or just generally known by all guitarists who love modern music.

1.Nothing Else Matters by Metallica - I start with this because honestly, who doesn't? The seemingly simple song begins just by playing the the E, G,B,e- and I think everyone felt a sense of accomplishment after plucking those strings over and over again. It was really fun to ask people to play the bit after that, and see the lost expression on their faces (myself included).

2. Smoke on the Water by Deep Purple - By smoke on the water you all know I really just mean JHAN JHAN JHAN! JHAN JHAN JHAAANAN! Noone, it seems, even wanted to know past that. Knowing how to play arguably the worlds most recognizable riff for real, cemented your reputation as a rockstar in a way that even guitar hero could not.

3. Zombie by The Cranberries - I have to admit I learnt how to play this song before I even heard it! But this has become a staple song for budding bands to jam to.

4. Boulevard of Broken Dreams by Greenday - Another one for the current youth (ages 11-14). Greenday already having multiple generations of listeners can add the youngest one as another feather to their furry cap.

5. The Mission Impossible Theme - The only non-band song on my list (unless your counting limp bizkit's awesome version). I remember how my friend Anish would pluck this away to glory back in the day, to my other friends horrible sounding lead guitar, while I would thrash my out of tune drum kit, creating musical chaos much to our satisfaction. Ah, good times.

6. Hotel California by The Eagles - I had to add this to the list even though it is a slightly harder song to play, but only because every basic guitarist after learning most of his/her barre chords would learn to play this song. If you are a guitarist and you do not know how to play this, all I can say is shame on you, man. If you have recently learnt it, all I can say is "Brother/Sister, you have arrived".

Well those were the most deserving in my opinion, if anyone knows any real no-brainers feel free to add to this list. Other notable mentions were Californication by RHCP, Kryptonite by 3 Doors Down and the lesser played 7 Nation Army by The White Stripes. For me personally the first song/riff/cool-thing-to-impress-people-with I learnt was the second part of Fade to Black by Metallica.

Anyway, there you go, thats all.

P.S.- Reviewing my post, I realize that saying JHAN JHAN in your mind while reading, sounds nothing like Smoke on the Water. Also I'm extremely thrilled with the colours I just added.

Movie Review: X-Men Origins: Wolverine

2009-06-19T07:50:00.011+05:30

Wolverine releases in India today, and I was lucky enough to see a preview show last night. First off let me say that, Empire Magazine posted a blog about how Movie Studios need to ignore the fans, and man, I couldn't agree more. What I saw was a contrived, compressed and overall insipid film. It follows Wolverine's entire journey from Weapon X on Alkali Lake (Remember X2?) right up till a little before X-Men (2000) and involves the strained relationship with his brother Victor Creed (Sabretooth) and Team X.

The movie in my opinion was as straightforward as they possibly could have had it. No Alpha-Flight or Japan or anything; or perhaps for later sequels. The opening sequence showing a young James Howlett's father being killed by Victor Creed's drunken dad was altogether lame and I felt like laughing when his tiny little bone claws popped out and screamed into the night. Post that is a pretty decent montage that showed all the wars that Logan and Victor had fought in including the American Civil War, WWII and Vietnam.

Both are recruited by Team X which includes John Wraith (Kestrel), Wade Wilson(Deadpool) and David North(Maverick) to name a few and is headed by William Stryker. What follows is simple: Wolverine leaves cause he can't handle the baggage, then Revenge, Revenge again and Plot twist and Finale. This all interspersed with Revenge dialogue and action.

The Wolverine potrayed in this movie by Hugh Jackman, is undoubtedly cool, but let's just get it straight- This is not the same Wolverine from the comics. In the comics he's short, twistedly funny (at times) and is really, the best at what he does (They screwed this line in the movie). Liev Schrieber is the most humane Sabretooth yet. The action is extremely Rajnikant style especially in all scenes with Maverick/Agent Zero in them. But screw all that; I just really wanted to see Deadpool, and boy is he awesome- for the 2 minutes he's on screen. I couldn't believe they didn't give screen time to one of the most awesome characters from Marvel in recent times. I have been a fan of Ryan Reynolds since Smokin' Aces where he infact, is most badass, and continues that run in this film, which is why I'm pissed that they failed to exploit the awesomeness of his character and himself.

Gambit, again, was cool but wasted. He felt a little lost and seemed to be doing his own thing in the movie.

Basically, to sum it up, it really was a whatever movie, and felt too forced, cramming in scene after scene. The SFX, I'm suprised, were extraordinarily bad in some parts and the post-credit sequence I heard was an equally half-assed attempt, to save a dead character for future bucks-making.

I was really looking forward to this and it was thoroughly dissapointing. Here's to the Deadpool Spin-off.

Movie Review: Push

2009-06-17T00:07:00.003+05:30

Ello all

I've never really been a fan of Heroes. The show always seemed to grate on me, and while yes, they EVENTUALLY seem to reach an interesting plot twist, I've always felt, it was a movie idea stretched over too much time. Entourage for example, is slick, it's funny, it's interesting, and yet there's no random soap opera type close ups with strange sounds in the background.

So today, as I sat down to watch Push, Paul Mcguigan's Cyberpunk 2009 release, I was kind of hoping, the film would validate my idea that some TV shows only exist because the movie deals probably fell through.

The story is that there's a whole bunch of government 'divisions' which deal solely with people with 'powers.' The difference is, the people with powers aren't called mutants or super heroes or whatever. Instead they're referred to by the powers they have. Considering there's only a handful of these powers, the names are essentially slang for what they do- so people with telekynetic abilities are movers, etc etc etc. The main protagonists are these American kids in Hong Kong, who refreshingly enough, SUCK at using their powers and are happy to admit it. Anyway, they have the power to stop and destroy the whole 'divisions' thing if they work together, and considering there are people who can make you believe lies and erase your memories, they have a pretty hard time doing it. Oh and then, there's the people who can read your intentions and predict the future. Tough spot.

The story line is pretty run of the mill. (Which is saying something really, because there was a time when super heroes and powers were pretty alien to film, but then that's a whole other blog.) The reason I labelled it Cyber punk, was because the director's primary focus in the movie has been on the characters rather than the abilities. In fact, there's plenty of super natural quirks and snippets throughout the film which aren't explained because it's just a waste of screen time explaining. He can make a peice of paper look like money? Yea sure whatever.

Interestingly enough, they only used green screens to make the scenes with traffic and even the scenes with effects are few and far between. In fact, most of the movie was shot with hidden cameras, so there's a very gritty, shaky feel to the whole movie, which is perhaps it's best feature. Honestly, I don't care much for McGuigan's work. Wicker Park and Lucky Number Slevin were very very ordinary films. Slevin in fact, would have been totally shit, if not for the fact that the film had Bruce Willis in it. In this movie though, he's really accomplished something very cool.

The two lead performances are amazing. Chris Evans has slowly become one of my favorite actors, and I suddenly wish he wasn't Johnny Storm, because there's plenty of other heroes he'd totally ace.

However, for me the most compelling performance was from Dakota Fanning. So much so, that this post was originally going to be a 'Rise and Rise of' take on her career. Honestly, I'm amazed that someone who got tossed into the limelight so young, has stayed true to the art form and still turned out to be, what appears to be a pretty level headed person.

She's not the cute blonde little girl with excess maturity in this one...oh no wait- she is. But there's something very different about this performance of hers. (Perhaps playing your own age DOES make sense sometimes.) She's grown into a 14 year old who believe it or not, CAN still act, and will, from the looks of it, go on to wow audiences for many many years to come.

Overall, I would recommend the movie to anyone who's into the genre, but beyond that, it's pretty 'Meh...' If we did the whole stars thing here I'd say 2/5 -maybe 3/5 if I was in a better mood. It's got it's moments and the guerilla shooting is cool and all, but when you pick a super natural theme, you must deliver super naturally.

Ps. It should be noted that Djimon Hounsou is in the film and while he is totally-undeniably-ultra-badass, it was by far his most under whelming performance. He does say 'Fuck Patriotism' though. Got to love that...

The Opposite of Valentine's Day

2009-06-16T15:29:00.005+05:30

I was going to blog about something else today, but last night I had dream about my ex-girlfriend. She usually seems to pop inside them now and then. We got back together, and I was the happiest I have ever been in a long time, until I woke up. So for the rest of the morning I sat wallowing in whatever it is I am wallowing in, and in typical fashion I further forced myself into more of that tasteful sorrow, by listening to all the heart-rending songs that I could find. Today I am part a large group of people that seem to have many names some including ‘losers’, ‘the pathetics’ etc.

But I say no! Mostly because I don’t want to be named those things, but I think it is time we celebrate those people! I want to celebrate Romeo and Juliet, I want to celebrate Peter Parker and Gwen Stacy, I want to celebrate the doomed lovers, or all the failures. Today should be the opposite of Valentine’s Day (It only shouldn’t because it’s my friend’s birthday and she would hate that). Why did it go wrong? No one knows. But we tried. We should be together, but we aren’t. That is the sentiment. Sorry guys.

There are so many people out there just looking for something. Yes it sounds cliché, but it just shows that people want it so bad and that it’s repeated so often that it has become a cliché. I write all these things and it’s hard, but I hope someone out there can relate, so I feel a little better.

So once again I find myself aimless in the middle of a post, on what I hope comes off as a professional blog. Why do I do these things?

Might as well make a list! Here are 5 songs I’m listening to right now.

Lovefool – The Cardigans. You know how people say ‘the singer is speaking to me’? Yeah, well how about that?
Hanging By A Moment (Acoustic) – Lifehouse. I love this version way better.
Slow Dancing In A Burning Room - John Mayer.
Colours – Amos Lee. I think this guy is really under-appreciated.
This Never Happened Before – Paul McCartney.

Yup. That’s all.

The Unmasking

2009-06-13T11:06:00.001+05:30

Ello all
Just a short one to let you all know that I've finally mustered up the courage to officially launch the web comic.
A few disclaimers are in order though. Firstly, the layout is rubbish but I'm working on a new banner which may take some time considering I have an exam in 2 days. Secondly, the image quality is equally rubbish and I think it's a glitch in my camera. I'll probably have to end up scanning though. I'm still in a testing phase. Thirdly, I've never done this before so if the actual strips themselves are rubbish, well let's hope and pray I learn soon.
This isn't something that'll grow into anything commercial, rather something I desperately want to do and figure it's worth the effort. At the moment it's all very rudimentary but I'm hoping I can make some progress and fast.
Anyway with much trepidation I present to you- http://rupees100.blogspot.com - a webcomic.
Credit to Anish for somehow locating the damn thing and commenting on it two whole days before I even told anyone I'd come up with a name. He is, in fact, the best.
Be gentle...

Selling Stories, Not Just Clothes

2009-06-09T12:35:00.006+05:30

The time has come. To think not of cabbages and kings, but of what the future brings. Now that I am "officially" a graduate, my sole reason for procrastination has faded. In a little over a month’s time, I will be armed with transcripts, resumes and recommendations – all that anyone needs to make themselves official in the big bad world of employment and you know…reality. Which brings me to J. Peterman.

Stealing a quote from You’ve Got Mail, J. Peterman "is a lone reed standing tall, waving boldly in the corrupt sands of commerce." In a world that has become scarily cookie-cutter, this famous catalog company don’t sell just products, they sell stories.

For example, when selling a shirt, as opposed to just giving the size, color and price (ie Banana Republic, Gap etc), J.Peterman chooses to describe it like this: Thos. Jefferson disliked stuffy people, stuffy houses, stuffy societies. So he changed a few things. Law. Gardening. Government. Architecture. Of the thousand castles, mansions, chateaux you can walk through today, only Monticello, only Jefferson’s own mansion, makes you feel so comfortable you want to live in it. I think you will feel the same about his 18th-century shirt. Classic. Simple. Livable.

You see? Its not just a shirt, it’s a story. You wear a story everytime you put the shirt on. And honestly, who wouldn’t want that?

Most people remember Jacopo "J" Peterman, from Seinfeld (Elaine’s boss?) In fact, Seinfeld helped make the catalog company a household name. Seinfeld and J. Peterman forged such a strong bond, that when the company faced bankruptcy, takeovers etc, the actor who played J. Peterman in the show (John O' Hurley) helped the original John Peterman bring his beautiful company back to life. Apart from being a major investor in the company, O' Hurley sits proudly on the Peterman Board.

J. Peterman gives life to the most mundane of things. Pants, shirts, bags, stuff for the house. Everything. The descriptions make you laugh, or smile or feel. You feel like you KNOW, and know intimately the product you’ve never felt between your fingers. Also, to enhance the personal tale-telling atmosphere, there are no photographs in the catalogue – only handmade illustrations. Thus, no-one in their right mind would ever consider this to be just a catalog. Its art, through and through. And yes, in my current post-graduation phase I would give up my right…ear or leg or something to work for them. After all, theres nothing *official* about them.

My personal J. Peterman favourites:
1. Vintage Tshirt
2. Linen Safari Dress
3. Thinking Pants (yes, seriously! They invented "thinking" pants!)
4. Seersucker Shirt
5. Knockabout Dress (teehee)
6. Authentic Baseball sleeves

Oh and also check out their new website : Peterman’s Eye. It is most awesomess.

An AR Rahman Weekend

2009-06-01T13:44:00.017+05:30

Theres a lot we can say about AR Rahman. Most of the comments are usually about his wonderful talent of making excellent soulful and melodious music or about how simple and unassuming he appears to be. Yesterday was the first of the 'Jai Ho' world tour, which was in my hometown of Pune which I did attend, but I'll get to that later. I first want to recap what I did this weekend in regard to the maestro, so I can read about the hectic-ism and feel happy.

Working for a radio can be very rewarding and eventful, and when I received news that my colleague Surya and I would be interviewing AR, I couldn't believe it for a second. It was Friday and we were both shaking with delight considering the fact we would be meeting a legend with the awesomeness level of 10^kickass. In the end it was too good to be true, because he cancelled on us and pretty much everyone, but someone did say he would be holding a 'press conference' the next day. In all this excitement, we also kind of swindled the accounts guys into paying for our tickets to the show; that was really sweet. The programming heads also decided to have an AR Rahman Weekend Special which meant playing only his songs for the next two days. So recording, producing and editing the promos seem to take most of the time after that with numerous distractions in the middle. We finished the 'day' at 4:30 in the morning with the radio going live again at 6. Some people would say "Wow, you did it with two hours to spare!" I say "Balls to that."

Tired, sleepy, hungry and altogether mentally screwed, I had to set the alarm for 11 to get to the Rahman conference. Suddenly I found myself on Surya's bike on my way to Baner, which is damn bloody far from home. It was held in a cafe in the lobby of the hotel he was staying at, the Courtyard Marriot, and the place was packed with countless journos all waiting for snaps and soundbytes.

The tension was building. One of the world's greats would soon be in our presence. Suddenly, news arrives that he has entered the lift! He is slowly descending to the level of us poor mortals...and then! He arrives! He is really short! Oh. Everyone is insane. Some suits are introducing him and talking about his exploits and accolades. And thats all. He cuts a piano shaped cake, says precisely "Thank you, thank you very much" and leaves. So much for the 'press conference'.

I was so thoroughly under-whelmed. Then we had free food.

Cut to the next day. The concert itself started on time-ish, with 'Mausam & Escape' kicking off the show in most bad-ass style. The shitty part was that the concert wasn't arranged like a rock show, with the standing tickets in front and seated at the back; in fact it was quite the opposite. As a result when the most jhatak songs were going on Surya kept having the urge to stand and dance much to the frustration of the people seated behind us. The deal was that ARR is not really a performer; he's an amazing musician to say the least but most of the times he was on stage and not playing an instrument, it seemed like he felt of out place. Apart from that the show was really good, with amazing visual backdrops bringing back fond memories of Redial Entertainment. The highlights were the sufi songs (Khwaja and Arziyan), ARR playing grand piano-acoustic versions accompanying the vocals of Hariharan and Roop Kumar Rathod, and finally 'Rehna Tu' from Delhi-6 which was the song I was waiting to hear personally. Lowlights were just the missing numbers from Swades, Lagaan and Taal. Also the song 'Jai Ho' was quite insipid.

However, it was overall a really good standard of performances from a man you can't help but admire. He is one of the few seemingly incorruptible figures of India, whom people can look up to and feel proud of. I realized how versatile he was, creating beautiful music in such a variety of genres, that I felt satisfied. I felt that the whole weekend seemed worth it.

P.S. Sorry about the lame photo, I was compelled! Its me buying the tickets to show. For those who care.

HRM

2009-05-29T12:29:00.015+05:30

I have been living a different kind of life from last week onwards. I recently joined a radio station in Pune to do an internship, and it has overwhelmed me to say the least. Late nights, Page 3 type parties and a whole lot of experimentation with alcohol. But the main issue I have been facing is that after all these late nights, everyone still has to come back to work the next morning and continue as if nothing has happened. Now don't get me wrong I love my job, and it has been a complete revelation for me to understand how radio stations operate, but lets face it- its damn freaking hard to come to work and just work, when your hungover. I hope everyone doesn't think that I've become a thriving alcoholic, thats really not the case but rarely when I do indulge and I'll admit to it becoming a little more often than I initially thought it would be, its hard to get through the next morning.

I remember changing into my clothes, taking a shower and then catching a rick to work, all the while listening to music on my shuffle. As I kept changing song after song, it would keep going through KT Tunstall (nothing against her, I love her to death and beyond) Joss Stone, and John Mayer, who were all relatively mellow and subdued artists and with a bad headache I kept thinking "Man, where the f*ck is the heavy shit?!' I realized I didn't have much of what would and should be an integral part of any drinker's life: Hangover Remedial Music. (Note: how awesome is that its also Human Resources Management?)

That first morning was hard to get through. I needed the music to accesorize and accentuate. I needed to drown the headache is something loud. Now to each his own and HRM can be different for every individual, but for me I realized I had to go back to a band I had not listened to in a long time. They would proceed to become a part of my every morning since and are so damn awesome that its nothing less than a shame that they broke up.

"In with the early dawn / Moving right along / I couldn't buy an eye of sleep
And in the aching night / Under satellite / I was not recieved
With the stolen parts / A telephone in my heart / Someone get me a priest

To put my mind to bed / This ringing in my head

Is this a cure is or is this a disease?

Nail in my hand / From my creator
You gave me life now, Show me how to live!"

- Show Me How to Live, Audioslave

I swear for me personally, there has never been a band more fitting for my state of mind than Audioslave. The perfect combination of screaming screaching vocals by Chris Cornell mixed with the bass-heavy riffs of Tom Morello, to the endless pounding of drums crashing away. I grit my teeth and and bury myself in the sounds of pure hard rock. That's all.

And so the morning becomes bearable.

P.S. Deccan Won, Man U lost, Baichung Won(!)...how sweet it is...and wait for it...Watchmen released in Pune TODAY. Still gonna see it again.

21st Century Broken down...

2009-05-28T23:22:00.004+05:30

Ello All
Before I get into this I must confess I've never done a music album review before.
When I showed up at my Grandparents and discovered WiFi I couldn't resist the urge to download and review the two hottest albums of the year. First one being Eminem's Relapse (it's coming along...) and the second being Green Day's 21st Century Breakdown.
Now if you read and believe most of the reviews out there, you'd probably imagine this is the defining album of the decade.
Honestly, I don't know about that. Radiohead have had a couple of albums and so many other really awesome albums have popped up as well so it's very hard to say. What I will say though, is that this is definitely one of the best albums of the last FEW decades.
Now for those of you who are expecting a typically punk rock approach to the album you're going to be disappointed. Not only is this the highest production value of any Green Day work, it's also the furthest they've ever gone from their punk roots.
Now before we have a needless debate let me elucidate that when I say Punk I mean type of music, not type of attitude. The fact is, with the lyrics and melodies these three have busted out, the album is likely to have a greater impact politically than almost any other punk album.
The songs this time are anthemic. As in bust-a-gut-rock-the-shit-out-of-wembley, arena rock. It is hard, it is edgy, and in the case of 21 guns and Last night on Earth, very moving.
The title track is the closest the band'll get to a Bohemian Rhapsody in terms of form and while it is a bit too preachy for my taste there's no denying it's awesome. Along with it, Christian Inferno and Viva La Gloria are the kind of songs you'd kill to see live. But without any doubt, for me atleast, the intensity and energy of this album can be summed up in East Jesus Nowhere (Ironically, it's the first time I even noticed Dernt on the album...hint hint).
Lyrically, Billy Joe's at his 'fuck authority' best and despite slight hypocrisies the band have most certainly drawn a line in the sand in terms of where they stand on what.
The fun mockery of American Idiot is 5 years gone and with this album they've replaced it with a gritty, far more serious attitude not too different from U2. Let's just hope that like U2 this doesn't signal any decline.
It's preachy at times and that does grind a bit, but for the most part I have to admit this is easily one of the best albums I've ever heard. Not only does it have a purpose, some of the tracks are just fucking awesome.
Recommended:
East Jesus Nowhere
21 Guns
21st Century Breakdown
Overall: 9/10

Paper to Celluloid

2009-05-26T22:24:00.003+05:30

Ive always been a reader first, a movie watcher second. Thus, watching a movie that has derived life from a book can sometimes be painful, often heart-wrenching. Many good books are massacred to make a good movie, descriptions and characters faded in the process of making the film a worthwhile one. On the other hand, many a character have been brought to life by celluloid in a way that paper never did justice to. The following is a list of the good and the ugly of paper becoming celluloid.

The Good:
1) The Godfather. The book was good, the movie was a classic. Marlon Brando gave life to Don Corleone in a way the book never fully did justice to. The book didn’t reek of power and vengeance the way the movie did. Brando was a true God.
2) Gone with the Wind. I had the good fortune of this being the first love story I ever read. As a result, all the men in my life are measured by Rhett Butler, i.e Clark Gable who spent years mastering the sneer that MADE him Rhett Butler. In Vivien Leigh, it was like Scarlett O’ Hara had stepped out of the pages of the book to act in the movie. The book was brilliant and the movie was a tribute to its brilliance. God help anyone who decides to remake it. There was only one Rhett Butler and Scarlett O’Hara in this lifetime, and Clark Gable and Vivien Leigh were them. There is something very grammatically wrong with the previous sentence.
3) The Harry Potter Series. Books were awesome, movies are good. No, seriously. The special effects in the movies are a tribute to J.K Rowling’s imagination. There are times when I wonder about the casting, but to each his own. To some people, Daniel Radcliffe is Harry Potter, to others he’s very…”I don’t know…” Overall however, I think Transfiguration, Quidditch, Hagrid, and everything to do with wands, more than make up for the films shortcomings.
4) Bridget Jones’ Diary and Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason. Bridget Jones is one of my favourite characters in literary fiction and Renee Zellweger. The otherwise svelte actress, made herself put on pounds of weight, perfected her accent and her walk to become the life, soul and chocolate and cigarette consuming Bridget Jones. She is Bridget Jones in all her voluptuous flesh.

The Ugly:
1) Little Women. Oh My Good Lord. I have the misfortune of having this movie on tape. It was a 12th birthday present and it was so bad I cried. The book is one of the most beautiful examples of literature on the planet and Louisa May Alcott must have turned in her grave at Winona freaking Ryder playing Jo March, the girl whose only real beauty was her hair. Jo March is not physically attractive in any way. She’s downright plain. She’s got a temper, a personality, a talent. Looks, she does not have. Why would a pretty woman be cast as Jo March, the principal character of the book? The book REVOLVES around Jo March. Did the makers of this movie never READ the book?
2) Chocolat. This book should never have been made into a movie. The mesmerizing magical descriptions of chocolate that Joanne Harris weaved so beautifully into words didn’t show up on screen. With the book, the story took you places, with the movie, it just stayed flat. Disappointing. Also, a waste of Johnny Depp’s awesomeness.
3) Pride & Prejudice. With Lizzie Bennet posing the same casting problems as Jo March (interesting, intelligent, but not in-your-face attractive), Keira Knightley was a very okay choice. Matthew Macfadyen as Mr. Darcy was also a very okay choice. But. Aha, if youre smart, you knew that was coming. Mr. Darcy and Lizzie Bennet are two of the greatest, most enigmatic characters in English Literature. Okay doesnt do them justice.
4) The Da Vinci Code. Awesome book. Very average movie. Yes, that’s it.

The Opposite Effect: Movies so beautiful, I have to read the books.
1) The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
2) A Beautiful Mind
3) The Horse Whisperer
4) Forrest Gump
5) Horton hears a Who
6) Fast Times at Ridgemont High

The Zoozoos will save us all!

2009-05-25T16:06:00.001+05:30

Ello all
Around the time IPL2 began (Respect: Deccan and all it’s fans, include the intoxicated ones on this blog…) Vodafone launched a brand new ad campaign. The ads all consisted of these incoherent sterilized-humpty-dumpty characters. They’re cute, weird, laugh maniacally and tend to hurt each other. They are Zoozoos. It’s interesting to know that while they seem animated they’re in fact humans in spongy suits.
All I have to say, is well done Vodafone. O&M were told to come up with a consistent brand story and the results they’ve produced are absolutely amazing. Every single ad is short and bizarre and manages to explain yet another feature of Vodafone. Airtel, Aircel, Idea, and LOOP might as well walk away now, because I honestly think this could be the campaign of the last few years. The campaign is spread across the usual radio, TV, print mediums but the handling of the online campaign is genius.
Instead of randomly sending trite messages to Facebook users, the Zoozoos have their own page and subsequently over 250,000 fans. That’s two and half lakhs! Beyond that, not only are bloggers everywhere writing about them (is this irony?) people are making fan sites for the funny looking characters.
Thousands upon thousands of people are trying to see ‘which Zoozoo they are’ and even more are posting comments on the characters’ wall. Not just that, people are tagging each other in Zoozoo photographs and the buzz is nothing short of immense. Sure, there’s plenty of Anti Zoozoo groups but the amazing thing is, within a few weeks, they’re small characters living in a Vodafone colored world telling you Vodafone colored things and lakhs of people dig it.
To me this is incredible, because in this country for some absurd reason, we do not understand the idea of a Mascot.
Take Choco’s. Every kid’s ideal chocolate breakfast. It has no competition and as a result, it has NO ambition. A few years ago they got rid of the big cuddly bear and replaced him with the Coco Pops monkey. FOR NO APPARENT REASON! It’s ridiculous, and even if they felt they needed a change in image, why do they care so little about the monkey? Next time you’re eating Choco’s, count how many fingers there are on the monkey’s hands. I’ll help you, he has seven. That’s right seven. Three on one hand and four on the other! FOR NO APPARENT REASON! And this isn’t a Hrithik type love your deformity ploy, oh no, they just don’t seem to give a fuck. That is NOT even handed treatment. (Sorry…had to).
For years now sports events have had mascots which you’d get with a happy meal at Mcdonald’s, yet who can honestly tell me they cared about or even FOR any of these mascots? The Olympics had those weird attempts at bears. And sure enough, this year we have Shera the ‘friendly tiger’! He’s a generic, probably ill fed tiger who deserves to be no more than a side character in Tinkle Digest. Yet another event will pass and nobody will give a shit about the tiger who’s only character claim is that he’s ‘friendly.’
Where’s our Tony the Tiger or our Marlboro Man? It’s depressing to see how little the organizers care about their mascot, but for now I’m glad we have the Zoozoos. All I can hope for now, is that other firms and companies will see the impact of their success, and hopefully, say to themselves ‘Let’s have a mascot who’s more than paint and plastic’.

THIS. Is about American Idol.

2009-05-23T15:14:00.004+05:30

Ello All
Here in India, if it isn't sports, LIVE generally denotes a waiting period of at least 24 hours. As such, I JUST got around to watching the season finale of American Idol and I have to write about it.
First of all I'd just like to say that while I've always enjoyed the show and appreciated it, I've never really been a fan. This season I almost came close to sort of feeling like I could be a fan. To translate, while I may watch a recommended performance once in a way, if given the opportunity, I would never vote.
Clearly over 100 million people disagree, as last night was some sort of a world record. Let me just clarify, that last night was such an utter explosion of money and half baked teeny boppy ideas, I felt dirty just watching it.
First of all they've decided they'd make these joke awards things and you know ha ha chuckle chuckle they didn't do it the way other awards are done but bloody hell they could've done so much better! And then of course, Kara Dioguardi in yet another 'Omigod look at me I'm like SO crazy' attempt decides to semi flash everyone for about 2 and half seconds. I swear the moment was even more ridiculous than the time she yelled, whatought to be the show's official tagline- "THAT. IS. ARTISTRY!"
But anyway, it's hard to complain when they actually got Rod Stewart, Kiss and Brian May to do some absolutely amazing performances. I swear to God I practically creamed myself during Detroit Rock City. What a performance and no one deserved to sing that more than Adam. While I'm at it, I might as well give props to Kris for his kick ass performance with Keith Urban. Anyway the point of this post, is that one of my major issues with the show is that it tends to breed this very candy cane teeny boppy brand of cool which I have major issues accepting. Bo Bice, Fantasia, even David Cook to a degree have been the only real exceptions to the rule for me.
And this season of course did breed so very much more of that and with the introduction of Kara and Paula's post menopausal libidos, god knows it's been even worse than usual. I swear one of these days Paula's just going to dry hump someone's leg on stage. Did anyone else notice the line of drool down the sides of her mouth whenever Adam performed?
But there was this amazing moment, when Kris Allen had finished his victory performance and his wife came and hugged him and he just seemed to melt, where it was sort of like he just gave up any attempts of trying to react right andhe just folded into her. I was suddenly overcome with an incredible appreciation for what he and Adam did to the show.
Naturally, in terms of arrangements and performances they did alot to break the status quo but more than anything else they brought such an awesome humility with them. I always maintained it'd be between them (Mind you I was stunned to hear Adam didn't win) and even with Tejas and Kyra when we watched the show, we always commented on the fact that while they were both exceptional performers, more than anything else they were humble about it. I'm sure the idiots who blew all those millions on fireworks and all had hoped for a slightly more emphatic celebration from Kris, but for me, his response of 'Adam Adam Adam' gave a whole new integrity to the show.
Kudos to him and I sincerely hope he does well for himself. Props of course to Adam too, who I hope will not fizzle out and fade away like Bice did. And for the love of God, let's all hope their potential and promise does not yeild another 'My life would suck without you' 4 years down the line.

PS. Talk about perspective, I spent most of the day listening to Eminem's new album. Hard. Core. A review should come along soon.

Please let me do this.

2009-05-22T23:20:00.005+05:30

I am buzzed out of my mind after having several shots of green apple smirnoff, and boy am I happy! I know this is completely unrelated to the purpose of this website but man I just want to pay tribute to who should have been the Aussie captain much before and instead of that fuckin Ricky Ponting.

Deccan Chargers are in the finals thanks to the greatest of all bloody captains: Adam Retitred from first class cricked-not played for an entire year-Fuckin' Gilchrist. 85 in 35 balls, nuff said, against all bloody odds. Delhi has beaten Hyderabad in every previous match. Chargers lost on 4 out 5 times we chased targets. Delhi was on the top of the table and we were fourth. Outclassed in every single way thanks to the most low-key, under-appreciated team of all time. And how fitting if IPL 2009 is won by the very team that was at the bottom of the barrel in 2008. Props to everyone else too.

Adam, you are the Man. You lead by example. I salute you, through shit colour uniform and through sexy blue. And this green apple shit is awesome.

We didn't have a Music Label?

2009-05-21T08:57:00.005+05:30

It was time for this post.
I spent the bulk of my summer in Jaipur, and though I had a gazillion things I wanted to accomplish, in the end Harry, Kyra and I pretty much sat and watched TV for the most part, and really who can deny that pleasure? I watched a whole lot of Jay Leno, Diff’rent Strokes (Awesome, awesome show!), Yo Mamma, Friends, English Premier League and even had my dose of IPL (Deccan fan here). We also watched a lot of Vh1 and all the ‘latest’ songs that were. There was one song however that from the first time we heard it, caught on to us by storm. Note this song wasn’t very good, in fact it really wasn’t good, but the sheer hilarity of the song just hit us and now we love it so much I sure it’s one of those thing we’ll laugh about for a while.

“Now if she does it like this will you do it like that? Now if she touches like this, will you touch her right back? Now if she moves like this, will you move like that (come on) Shake, Shake, Shake, Shake, Shake It “

- Shake It by Metro Station

It’s just the genius of the marketing that has made this song so successful. Shamelessly targeted at all the teenyboppers out there, who pass through adolescence listening to a band that maybe taking themselves very seriously! But who am I in this, anyway? I’m just a lowly critic, albeit with a point to make. Now this song however bad and lame it is, will stay with me. I like this song I admit it, though wholly for different reasons.

Have you ever had that feeling?
You keep listening to a song over and over again, at a certain time or place in your life, and then it gets old and you reshuffle your playlist. Then years later you hear the song again, and you get that weird feeling that kind of reminds of you of that previous time. It shoves those feelings back into you, even years later because your mind conditioned itself to combine to unrelated things: The song and the emotion you felt at that point of time.
Anyway it’s nice.

Completely swinging around, I love Joss Stone. I love the way she sings, her voice, her presence, her music; everything. I heard her for the first time a month before the Desert Rhythm Festival 2007 where Mika was performing. She was too, so I decided to check her out. Well basically I was wowed, and enough to say that in the end I decided I wanted to see her more than Mika. I’ll also admit that it’s because of listening to one of her songs that sparked this post.
‘Tell Me What We’re Gonna Do Now’ by Joss Stone feat. Common.

The song in itself may be average, but god I love it, again for different reasons. The way she screams so melodic-ally right at the end, just gives me the good feeling that people give a shit about what their doing. Whether the world ends in 2012 or not, at least we gonna go out swinging and singing.

Anyway, right about now this post seems aimless, but sometimes music is like that. We need to float. And there are songs out there that speak directly to you even if the lyrics don’t fit. Also I felt I needed to do this, and I’m gonna be doing music for a while now. I hope you guys can relate.

More posts like this! Woo!

The Best Movie Taglines ever

2009-05-18T16:18:00.004+05:30

Ello all
It's summer time, and that means it's big movie time, and that further means it's big marketting promos time, which then eventually, usually, means it's awesome movie taglines time!
It was the summer of 2005 when I was first properly enamored by the art of the tagline. I was walking home through Metroplex, a large-ish cinema in Dubai, when I passed a poster for Rob Zombie's Devil's Rejects.
It read: THIS SUMMER GO TO HELL!
Since then, I have to admit, I haven't seen too many good taglines but I figured it's worth listing out some of the best tag lines I've ever found. I thought I'd be able to do a regular linear type list but the fact is it's too damn hard to pick so I'll break it down.

THE ACTION TAGLINE
Naturally, some actors develop the kind of image that just begs for a tagline. Seagal, Norris, Schwarzenegger, Stallone, all had one "statement of awesomeness" too many if you ask me, but some of the awesome ones are:
SILENT RAGE: Science created him, now Chuck Norris must destroy him...(An obvious play on Frankenstein's 'Science created him but couldn't destroy him)
SHADOW MAN: Either you're with him...or you're dead! Classic Seagal. Funny thing is it's probably true.
And finally,
TERMINATOR II: He's back. Utter. Freaking. Class.
Since the 80s hayday for heroes, very few action films have really pulled off the tagline. The most disappointing was of course The Matrix trilogy. One man who did manage to bring back some of the awesome though, was a certain Mr. Tarantino and I must say his taglines for Kill Bill are most kick ass...
KILL BILL VOL. 1: Here comes the bride.
KILL BILL VOL. 2: Revenge is a dish best served cold.

THE SCAAAAARY TAGLINE
There's plenty out there but only so few will ever really matter. I mean honestly, when you're up against Jaws II's "And you thought it was safe to get back in the water" the usual response would be to lie down and not even try. Here's my top 3...
GODZILLA: Size Does Matter
THE FLY: Be afraid, be very afraid...
And finally, my absolute favorite:
ALIEN: In space no one can hear you scream

THE CLASSICS
DAZED and CONFUSED: It was the last day of school in 1976, a night they’d never forget… if only they could remember. A tagline far better than the movie but whatever.
BONNIE andCLYDE: They’re young… they’re in love… and they kill people.
DIRTY DANCING: The dancing’s over. Now it gets dirty
THE GRADUATE: This is Benjamin. He's a little worried about his future.
BUTCH CASSIDY and the SUNDANCE KID: Not that it matters, but most of it is true.
And finally, trumpets and all bow down for
STAR WARS: A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away…

THE FUNNY TAGLINES
For me, a tag line that talks to me is always awesome. It involves me and it feels like the producer's got his arm on my shoulder talking to me...
Kind of like the tagline for The Hoax which read 'Based on true events. Would we lie to you?'
Well according to the man it's based on they did, but I digress.
SHAUN of the DEAD: A romantic comedy...with zombies
JOHNNY ENGLISH: He knows no fear, he knows no danger, he knows nothing!
MONTY PYTHON and the HOLY GRAIL: Makes Ben Hur look like an epic
THIS IS SPINAL TAP: Does for rock and roll what "The Sound of Music" did for hills. ( Got to love those Brits)

APATOW TAGLINES
I've got to say, Judd Apatow and his gang of miscreants can do NO wrong. When it comes to tag lines, they continue the theme with some freaking awesome innuendo.
My favorites are as follows:
TALADEGA NIGHTS: The story of a man who could only count to #1
WALK HARD: THE STORY of DEWEY COX: Life made him tough. Love made him strong. Music made him hard
And last of all, my absolute favorite tag line...
ANCHORMAN: His news is bigger than your news

If there's any good ones I've left out please feel free to let us know in the comments. Let's hope for some more good tag lines and til next time, just remember the immortal words of Speedman from Scorcher VI
"...who left the freezer open?"

9 actors I hope to see more of(ten)

2009-05-11T19:32:00.010+05:30

Ello all

At some point in time we've all watched a movie and wondered why the little ones, the actors who don't make it to the posters, get left behind when in many cases they're extremely talented.

But I don't know, that really just is the way it is and as a result, sometimes very cool people get forgotten a lot sooner than they really should.

So this post, is about the 9 actors and actresses in English cinema who I really think deserve more blog space than they currently get.

Bear in mind these names are in no particular order of preference. Just memory...

1. Eric Christian Olsen

I last saw him as the 'threat-to-current-boyfriend-from-girl's-past' stereotype in License to Wed but fortunately or unfortunately, he's going to be remembered as the failed attempt at replacing Jim Carrey in Dumb and Dumberer.

He's grown his hair since then and he's got solid Adam Pascal overtones happening for him now. He was also in The Last Kiss as one of Zach Braff's guy buddies and he wasn't half bad there either.

Too often the guys who play the stereotypes get written off but I don't know, there's a coolness to this guy which was possibly the only bearable thing about License to Wed.

2. Loren Dean

Ok, so first time I ever saw this guy was in this movie called Mumford, which didn't do terribly well but was still totally awesome. His performance wasn't incredible and compared to the performances of lead actors in even smaller films, you can totally see why he didn't exactly shoot to fame.

I mean you see what Will Smith did with Seven Pounds, or what Ellen Page did with Juno, and it's kind of hard NOT to expect from a lead actor, no matter how small the film's meant to be.

He's always seemed to me, to be the serious, not so charming Christian Slater, which admittedly, is not a lot of Christian Slater at all, but it's something. What?

It's just odd to me that a man who notched up parts in Gattaca, Apollo 13 AND Enemy of the State should just remain one of those faces you vaguely remember from something you saw somewhere at some point but aren't able to IMDB. And Mumford was awesome!

3. Julia Ormond
Alright, now here's something I really do not understand. Kind of like why Sam Rockwell will have to suffer Charlies Angels 2 on his resume.

Here's a woman, a very rare actress who actually has the 'gorgeous' thing going for her, a continental Julia Roberts if you will. She's perfect in Legends of the Fall, she's worth dumping Sean Connery on his ass in First Knight, yet for some bizarre reason, her next significant role is as the rarely shown daughter of the narrator's love in freaking Benjamin Button. I haven't seen Che yet so I can't comment, but it's a serious shame that she dropped out of sight and if anyone has any explanations I'd love to know.

Hollywood's loss better be someone's gain because there are far too many wannabe serious actresses with half the class this woman has.

4. Mathew Goode

Watchmen casting director: I think Matt Goode should play Adrian Veidt.

Zach Snyder: Oh. Sure. What's he acted in?

Watchmen Casting director: Oh. Um. Well. Yeah. About that. Um. Chasing Liberty and a...um... side role in Match Point.

Zach Snyder: BWAHAHAHAHA! Oh Shit! Sorry, Mr. Goode... I meant, that's...Oh God! I'm sorr...put down that lead pipe...!

While I'm sure that's not how things work out there, I'm sure that was the general response once everyone realised what was going on. But look what we got out of it. One of the most memorable "not-a-movie-villain" movie villains of all time.

I most certainly cannot wait to see what he does next and I certainly hope it isn't in some pubescent bullshit involving more flinching and eye rolling from the likes of Mandy Moore.

5. Rosemarie Dewitt

Rachel Getting Married didn't have alot wrong with it and the title character Rachel, to me atleast, deserved an oscar nomination just as much as Anne Hathaway.

She was impactful, deep, shallow, loud, soft, bitchy, beautiful and everything the role asked for. Maybe it's one of those roles that are just perfect for the actor so they can slip in and out seamlessly. Maybe it wasn't. All I know is, Ms. Dewitt put in an amazing performance and I would certainly hope to see her in more dramatic roles.

6. Bill Irwin

The Dad in Rachel Getting Married and Uncle Teddy in Across the Universe! I love this guy. I honestly felt he had the best performance in Rachel Getting Married. A truly awesome actor who seems to have done everything.

He's a theatre man who played Mr. Noodle on Sesame Street for 10 years! He then played a psychopathic serial killer on CSI (a natural transition) and he then shows up as the emotionally tormented daddy in Rachel Getting Married.

An amazing talent, and I would love to see him playing the quirky brother to William H Macy in something or the other. Definitely worthy of more screen time. Especially after you see stuff like freaking Fargo.

And also, cherry on the top, he was Tom Snout in Midsummer Night's dream. This guy has suddenly become one of my favorite actors.

6. Emily Blunt

Does she honestly deserve to be here? Yes!

I've seen her in Devil Wears Prada and Charlie Wilson's War and she's seriously awesome.

Between her, Sarah Paulson and Lizzy Caplan it's wholly apparent what Hollywood sees as 'cute'. Add to that we know she CAN act, I cannot understand why she doesn't get more roles.

She's most famous for her more 'English' stuff like Summer of Love and A Young Victoria, but I think it's fair to say her charm is wholly apparent to anyone who's seen her act. Let's just hope we get to see more.

7. Zak Orth

Remember Philip Seymour Hoffman in Along Came Polly? Of course you do. First time I saw anyone play that part it was this guy in Down To You, a Freddie Prinze-Julia Stiles starrer. ( As it turns out, I saw it again and the movie's actually pretty awesome.)

I've always felt this guy's like a fat Ben Affleck and believe me, a lit extra skin makes Affleck far more likable. And if ever there was hope for young generally uni dimensional actors, I must say it would be in the shape of Affleck's continued movie career.

He was also in Loser, the Jason Biggs movie and since then he's done some TV stuff but that's about the extent of it. It's a shame really, he's a smart, funny actor who I hope we get to see again.

8. Jason London

Ah, yes the man who made me want to do this post in the first place. I first saw him in Out Cold and then in the popular for no apparent reason 'Dazed and Confused'. The movies weren't big deals but this guy really impressed me. He has a twin brother and both of them seem to have stuck to television stuff over the years.

He usually seems to be the 'head-firmly-on-shoulders-amidst-madness' guy and he's pretty damn good at it.

What's amazing though, is that in '96 he was one of People's 50 Most Beautiful People (Identical twin didn't make it though...!) and yet he's not starred in anything significant since then.

9. Justin Chatwin

Ok look inside your hearts and forgive me for this.

I first saw him in The Invisible. A shitty shitty movie which he got to star in. He was mediocre at most.

Now he's in Dragon Ball Evolution but something tells me that won't do much for him either.

So why the hell do I want to see him more? I do not know.

Maybe it's because he looks a lot like Arsenal Midfielder Tomas Rosicky.

No but seriously, he's a young actor who's definitely got something going for him in the looks and charm department. Perhaps a decent role and a dedication to avoid teeny boppy bullshit and we could see something more happen. I think he's got potential.

Anyway that's all for my list, there's shitloads of other actors who deserve screen time, so feel free to mention some in the comments. And Indians too, please.

There's a whole bunch who didn't make it to the list like George Newbern (Danny from Friends, now voice of Superman!), Adam Scott (Leo's flacky in Aviator) and Rahul Khanna, and I'm fully aware there'll be hundreds who fit the bill so by all means let us know some of your favorites.

And finally I'll leave you with a thought I've been having for a while now...

Does anyone else feel that Macaulay Culkin, Freddie Prinze Jr. and John Cusack are the same person at different ages?

Think about it...

Clash of Couture : Vogue vs Bazaar

2009-05-04T21:01:00.004+05:30

Women can't do without their daily/weekly/monthly fix of fashion magazines, despite the fact that the skinny models and overpriced handbags plague them no end. This is common knowledge. Why do they buy? Because its like looking into another world, a world that eludes and fascinates them/ Publishers have taken advantage of this by churning out magazine one after the glossy other, to add to the obsessions of women. Two of the greatest fashion/couture magazines in the world today, have not only been around for decades, theyre a household name in many a woman's mind : Vogue and Harper's Bazaar.

Before I continue, let me elucidate. When I lived in Abu Dhabi, I couldnt afford either magazine, priced at over and above Dhs. 40-60. Thus, my criticism and compliments to the magazines lie in Vogue India, and Bazaar India, both priced at a fairly reasonable Rs 100.

Editorial Content: Bazaar India wins hands down. Bazaar India has done something that no other fashion magazine in India has done so far. Instead of inviting guest writers from the industry, they've made the editorial team the industry. Thus, every feature, every editorial, is written by someone who not only faces high fashion on a daily basis, but can also really understand the highs and lows of wearing couture. Vogue India, on the other hand, is severely lacking in terms of editorial content, focusing instead on expensive photo shoots of expensive products and clothing with short descriptions. How helpful. That aside, Vogue India seems hellbent on interviews/actresses/models from abroad. Case in point, I could just buy Vogue International if I wanted Michelle Obama on the cover, or if I wanted an interview of Katie Holmes.

Fashion Coverage: Grudgingly, this goes to Vogue, but a very small margin. Vogue takes pride in its fashion coverage; its glossy photos of truly bizarre fashion that no self-respecting working woman would ever wear. Or spend thousands of dollars/rupees on. Do I sound bitter? Yes, I am. Fashion coverage is good and all. What pinches is that very few readers can actually afford to buy the fashion you're covering.

Design and Art: I think the whole world knows of Vogue India's fiasco in terms of fashion shoots and art. Of all the possible creative ways to conduct a photo shoot, using beggars to accentuate the luxuriousness of Burberry is just cruel. Obviously, Vogue India didnt learn anything from the worldwide criticism: Their last edition has a feature of bikini-clad women prancing in front of burqa-clad women in the desert. Are you honestly saying there is no better way of portraying fashion? Bazaar, on the other hand, while playing it safe, doesnt break the boundaries of creativity. Their art is good, the look of the book is good, the design is good. But since when has good been good enough for the ruthless world of fashion?

Overall, in my opinion (note the my), Bazaar India wins hands down, in terms of "I would rather spend Rs100 a month on this magazine." While it doesnt dazzle me with its wowza, at least it doesnt make me angry like Vogue India does. I'd rather read a magazine strong in editorial content, than buy a magazine chock-full of Louis Vuitton and Burberry ads, which will just remind me that Im very very far from earning that kind of money.

On hindsight, however, I can think of better magazines/books to spend Rs100 or less on.
1) The Economist (the smartest magazine in the world)
2) Frontline
3) Outlook
4) Femina (yes, affordable fashion, and the magazine is only Rs30!)
5) Any Hercule Poirot by Agatha Christie (yes, I know, I digress from the point of this blog, but such awesomeness I cannot ignore)

Note: Next on this debate: Why would women buy fashion magazines to feel not-so great about themselves, when they can buy an Agatha Christie, and think "Wowza! This was one scarily smart woman!" Yes, my next blog will most definately be a tribute to the great Mistress of Crime.

Project Assemble!

2009-04-30T14:38:00.007+05:30

I saw Cloverfield last night, and I don’t give about what reviews it may have received but, WOW. I was freaking amazed. It was awesomely filmed with a decently tight script that held my attention throughout, even though I watched it on HBO, with commercials and all. So I can’t imagine what it must have felt like in theatres.

Anyway that short intro was just to emphasize an idea I had thought of earlier last year, but didn’t know what to do with. What better than to post it on The Write Stuff for the entire world to see? (Still not copyrighted)

I have a dream. A dream that movie studios across the globe could come together in a project so awesomely huge in its scope that it could form the base for future such symbiosis of this nature. Take a major studio to helm: say Universal (seems apt) and take one global movie plot: ALIEN INVASION! Clichéd? Maybe, but bear with it. Now imagine if 10 studios from 10 different countries are fed or even develop 10 scripts built around the same theme of the above mentioned alien invasion. And so the contracts are signed and deals are negotiated. The movies are made. But what movies? Here are my ideas! America could do the big budget action flick dealing with the aliens. UK could do drama or even comedy. Euro Cinema could go complete art house. India could do romance or even a thriller (though that idea dies slowly everyday since Tasveer). You see the beauty of the project is really that there could be so many ways to tell the same story, so many perspectives of a common global event. It could even have intertwining plots and crossover moments not unlike what Marvel Studios is heading towards with the release of Avengers. Watch the strained relationship Batman and The Martian Manhunter share in Justice League: The New Frontier. Yes they are both fictional comic book characters, but their interaction is completely realistic and is dramatized intensely, which just shows that you can have pretty much any genre regarding a particular topic such as this, which is what producers should exploit.

And then, think of the MARKETING! The extent of this kind of operation has immense potential. Viral marketing to rival (Viral? Rival?) The Dark Knight and that on a global scale. It also boosts the comparatively smaller studios of other countries. Vital details regarding the plot could be spread over all the different movies which would encourage movie-goers like myself to see all the collaborative efforts.

Anyway. It’s just a really cool idea that I would love to see happen. I don’t really know if anyone else has thought of this, but if they can do Live 8 and crossover films, I’m sure someone will think this up too. Also I could not come up with a good name, so for now I dub it ‘PROJECT ASSEMBLE’.

P.S. We the Write Stuff strongly recommends ‘Shake it’ by Metro Station followed by a good ol’ fashioned hanging or bullet in the ‘ead! And Cloverfield rules.

Infinite Canvas

2009-04-20T12:06:00.004+05:30

Ello all

Sorry for the slight hiatus (sliatus?) but we the writers have just come to Jaipur for a bit of a holiday and the recording of the new Civil Cats album. Incidentally, I must mention the super comfortable journey we had travelling by Indian Railways. I’m sure normal sleeper class would’ve been 18 hours of hell, but in air conditioning, it was quite the opposite. Props where they’re due.
Onto the post then, and today’s post is about an idea which has shattered my foundations of vision, reading and general decoding.
A few weeks ago a designer buddy of ours guided us to the absolutely superb TED.com. TED stands for Tech, entertainment, design and was originally a conference which decided to upload it’s talks. They get the most incredible thinkers in just about every single analytical or creative profession there is to discuss cutting edge ideas and concepts, and the best part is, all of them are really funny.
Anyway, while scanning through the video archive, I found a talk by a comic artist and writer named Scott Mccloud (who seems to be thick pals with Neil Gaiman- the Chuck Norris of comic writers).
Anyway, in ’93 Mccloud buys himself a shiny new piece of technology called the computer. On it he discovers a bunch of stories called web comics and it strikes him, that web comics are really just normal comics in a computer screen. So he starts to wonder, and bear in mind this is 1993 we’re talking about, and he comes up with the idea of the Infinite Canvas.
See, a screen, unlike a piece of paper has no physical constraints. It has unlimited depth, width and height. You just have to move the vision. So Mccloud realizes, you can have a comic strip that isn’t left to right linear and you can have Manga that isn’t right to left linear. You can have anything. You can have parallel storylines which physically run parallel to each other. You can have characters going off in a tangent which actually stretches out of the actual strip’s flow.
The possibilities are endless and as one can see on the various sites, some of the work is just awesome. My personal favorite is this one, in particular, Mccloud’s own ‘Brad’s somber mood’ which is kick ass, it was started as a side project of Microsoft’s live labs project.
The amazing part is, anyone can do it, so if you’re proper inspired by the end of his video click on the create button and to quote our old friend from ‘ART ATTACK’ “Go on, try it y’self! We’ll be here again next week. Bye Bye”

OH! And before I leave, Tejas and Kyra finally watched Watchmen. Tejas was a heap of melted 'WOWZAH!' by the end and Kyra wished the second half had been halved.

So there you go.

The Greatest Movie Villain of All Time?

2009-04-10T15:49:00.010+05:30

Let’s forget the Jokers and the Anton Egos of this world and go way back. The modern agent of evil is not a straight forward nihilistic mastermind of death and power any longer (what a shame!). Nowadays the modern villain is more of an anti-hero, who probably has been pushed so far off over the edge by humanity that the audience has no other choice but to sympathise or even empathise with the character. You know what?
Screw that.
Bring on the violent and the merciless! Bring on the destruction of good for no rhyme or reason! Bring on the ruthlessness that only existed in 80’s villains! Bring on…MOGAMBO!

Yes, I just recently watch Mr. India for the nth time, and originally I was going to talk about the entirety of the brilliance of that movie, but I just thought that maybe I should just focus on what I think to be one of the greatest characters ever in film history. After all really what is Mr. India without Mogambo? He’s just another awesome guy fighting not-so-awesome villains. Throw Amrish Puri with a horrendous blonde wig into the fray, and NOW we’re talking. Because all heroes need to prove their heroism. The brilliance of Mr. India is that he is the aam aadmi (regular person) so to speak; he is the everyman who decides that his country is in shit and that it needs to be rectified. The over-quoted “with great power” line cannot be more appropriate. But like all good vs. evil scenarios there must be the anomaly. There must be the rogue. He is the Smith to Mr. India’s Neo, no! Smith is the Mogambo to Neo’s Mr. India.

Mogambo is the melodramatic epitome of evil albeit with what he thinks to be a noble cause. He is also tired of all the corruption in India and decides to take over in a dictatorial manner, thus making him more so an idealist, than anything else: “Mogambo ke irrade aasman se bhi unche hain!” (Mogambo’s aims/intentions go higher than the sky!) And the power he commands! Just see that opening scene when they first reveal the very Dr. No-like technological fortress and Mogambo himself appears for the first time. From the rings drumming upon the globe-armrest, to the soldiers he commands to jump into the lava pit just to confirm his authority, and finally to the soldiers themselves who offer themselves as sacrifice, there last words only being “Hail Mogambo!” That is respect you can’t freaking buy man. Also, Mogambo has the greatest dialogue delivery ever, man! That slight rise in pitch in the middle of each sentence? Classic. And the suit. Who doesn't love the suit?

And even his demise (as it comes about after a kickass fistfight with Mr.India), just shows the resilience this man has. After being pretty much electrocuted on the very destroyed controls of his missile silo, he still in typical fashion commands the scene, putting Mr. India in a catch-22: Either him and the gang explodes, or India itself!

Amrish Puri (May he rest in peace) created one of the most formidable and sadistic villains of all time in a movie that has become cult greatly because of his presence and sheer ability to be hated, and though Gabbar Singh and many others have come close (some may argue that Gabbar was still better) there is still an undeniable likability about the often hilarious but fundamental concept of villain in Mogambo. The debate I guess will go on and perhaps I don’t rate him as the best in history but man, he’s pretty high up there, and I hope that this character gets his due, and ki once more perhaps Mogambo probably khush hua.

Fun Fact: Mogambo means 'passion' in Swahili!

Movie Review: 8x10 Tasveer

2009-04-03T12:01:00.014+05:30

Okay, I just saw the 9 AM show for ‘8x10 Tasveer’. Before I begin I want to talk about Akshay Kumar’s character. There are several scenes in the movies that display his badass action qualities, but my favourite was this one: Akshay Kumar and Ayesha Takia have been almost run over by what looks like a 2 ½ Ton GMC Jeep. After they dodge that, the vehicle reverses and turns once again to face them. Akshay Kumar gets up and back onto the narrow path, pretty obviously pissed that the truck has tried to run him and his girl down. They both face each other, the car revving its engine furiously while the veins on AK’s head start throbbing, in a shot not unlike the Hulk VS. the Abomination. AK gets so damn pissed he screams loudly and starts to run towards the car, and I swear to God its so hilarious because after a lot of overheated engine-revving the car promptly reverses as fast as it can and pretty much runs away from Akshay Kumar. This action-quality, which includes the alpha-male smoldering and I-have-a-secret secrecy, remains displayed on his face through out the entire movie.

But man, He’s just so cool.

Getting to the point. The movie is basically about Jai (Akshay Kumar) who is a sort of forest ranger-action guy in a reserve in Canada who lives with his girlfriend (A pretty bland Ayesha Takia) and is somewhat estranged from his rich-oil-company-owning father who is desperately trying to reconnect with him. In the mix are his father’s dubious friends which includes Girish Karnad (what the hell was he doing there?) and Jai's mother who is still close to him.

Jai has the power…to see the past!

Nobody really explains why though, and he keeps a stopwatch by his side, because for some unexplained reason if he stays in the photo-past for over a minute he goes into a kind of cardiac arrest, which also for some reason requires him to have a blood transfusion (but he doesn’t bleed, hello?). The watch is for the audience I guess, and goes thoroughly ignored in the film. Also for those who are interested, he looks into the past through the eyes of the person (which blinks by the way!) in a very Being John Malkovich-esque form.

The plot is as follows, that his father is killed after having a heart attack aboard his boat, and then proceeds to fall over the edge of the railing which gives way very mysteriously. Lucky for Jai that his mom takes a photo just before the accident! The photo has all four friends standing together in it and in a rashomon style, Jai must find out what exactly happened and if there is murder involved (duh).
Now the movie is long at about 2 hours 15 mins and does tend to drag a lot during the middle. Along with some okay direction, the acting is nothing great and the action sequences are few and brief. Jaaved Jaffery’s character was annoying and unneccessary, and the character of BB (What the hell was that all about?) is just plain dumb. The editing is well done and apart from the rap song at the end, (which I quickly exited the cinema to avoid) the score was good including the groovy opening track. Nagesh Kukunoor's script needed a lot of doctoring, but had potential for a decent movie.

Now, heres the deal. This would have been another really big waste of time, if it had not been for the ending. There is a super genuine WHAT THE F*CK?! moment, that is so unbelievable for a second, that the whole movie was worth my ticket money. I’m not saying it was well constructed or anything, but because and only because it was so bloody outrageous and despicable in nature, I laughed to myself in the theatre and thought “Shit man, this is just great bloody cinema”. It is so vile and wrong, but I just loved the director for saying ‘You know what? Screw everything, I’m going to make this so freaking weird that not even batman could see it coming’. Batman can see EVERYTHING coming.

But I know, I know. I asked for this. I wanted a Hindi action film, and I got it…bigtime. I guess my final word is if you do go for this film, just watch it for its hilarious ending. Oh and Akshay Kumar is so cool.

Coming Out of the Chick-Lit Closet

2009-04-01T15:08:00.002+05:30

Yes, I like my Arundhati Roy with a dash of Shopaholic and Judith Krantz on the side. And you’ll find very few of the female species who don’t. Being a closet chick-lit reader is nothing to be ashamed of. Women read chick-lit for the same reasons they’ve been reading Harlequins and Mills&Boon’s for decades. Not just for the taste of romance in their otherwise humdrum lives, but for that magic word : Escapism.

While writers like Arundhati Roy, Phillippa Gregory and Zadie Smith are all brilliant writers, there’s something about a glossily clad book that’s usually a bright color that tugs at your most stubborn and intellectual desires whenever you enter a bookstore.

And despite worldwide assumptions, not all chick lit is stupid.

Take the Jessica Darling series by Megan Mcafferty for example. The characters are deep and well carved. Both Jessica Darling and her complicated love interest Marcus Flutie are geniuses in their own right, who create haiku’s out of spam, and who write journal after journal of thoughts – profound, stupid, smart, lovable, hateful etc. There isn’t a single mention of a clothing line or designer, and New York isn’t portrayed as JUST being one of the fashion capitals of the world, where sex is an everyday word i.e Gossip Girl by Cecily von Ziegesar. Instead, it’s perceived as being a harsh, brutally honest and scarily smart city, which magnetically pulls in raw ambition on daily, if not hourly basis.

Another author who transcends the clichéd boundaries of chick-lit, is Judith Krantz. While its been years that shes written anything new, here’s an author whose characters have lives beyond sex, designers and husbands/boyfriends. All of her books target an industry that her heroine battles with : publishing, modeling, retail, advertising, painting, photography, aviation, acting etc. Characters like Maxi Amberville and Billy Ikehorn become icons, not just because their gloriously talented and marvelously beautiful (in that unfair way only fictional heroines can be), but because somehow, Krantz manages to make them breathlessly human. They have migraines, they make their kids do their homework, they have bags under their eyes, they wear dirty sneakers and groan at Customs, they down Bloody Mary’s to cure a hangover – they live, and oddly enough, despite their unfair beauty and talent, they become your friend. The same goes for the lovable goofball Bridget Jones, by Helen Fielding. Jones’s obsession with her weight, her desperate need to be anyone but herself, her friends, her Chardonnay and her smokes, her maniacal hair makes her blessedly alive – which also explains why over 71 million women have brought her into their homes.

The worst part about Chick Lit is that until the book becomes a movie or TV show (Gossip Girl, The Shopaholic Series, The Devil Wears Prada, Scruples), most women are ashamed to acknowledge that they read such “stupid books”. In reality, any book that gives you ANYTHING is not trash. If it offers you escapism, it’s not trash. If it makes you laugh, it’s not trash. If you connect to even one character, even if it’s the hostile cat or the gay friend, it’s not trash. Just because the cover may be emblazoned with high heels and martini glasses, doesn’t mean what’s inside is trash and by default that you are trash-worthy. Whatever happened to not judging a book by its cover? Sometimes it’s time to get OUT of the closet. Haven’t you learnt anything from the chick-lit you devour? Closets are meant for Blahnik’s and Barney’s. Not yourself.

Chick-lit that won’t disappoint:
1. The Devil wears Prada by Lauren Weisberger
2. Anything by Judith Krantz
3. Faking it/Welcome to Temptation/Fast Women by Jennifer Crusie
4. Bridget Jones Diary/The Edge of Reason by Helen Fielding
5. Lipstick Jungle by Candace Bushnell
6. Sloppy Firsts/Second Helpings/Charmed Thirds/Fourth Comings by Megan Mcafferty

Note: Next on the Chick-Lit debate: Chick Lit vs. Dick Lit. If books written about women by women are chick lit, why not “quick lit for short stories, sick lit for the horror genre and dick lit for books by men about men”?

Summer Flicks in India

2009-03-30T10:33:00.015+05:30

I just saw ‘Revolutionary Road’ last night. It was really sad, and by that I mean very heartbreaking. But Beautiful. Also Depressing. Great performances by actors who seem to change into different people each time I see them on screen. It also was the type of story where you really need to be drawn into the characters lives, or else it’s really hard to find a message or a moral. I saw ‘The Reader’ last week which was a similar case; all thinky-emotional types. But in all this I realised that I had enough of all the drama and really wanted to see an action film, and an Indian action film, that (here are the key words) DOES NOT DISAPPOINT, and man is it hard to find one of those.

So everyone knows that the only place in the nothern hemisphere that has its summer a couple of months early is the sub-continent. And though the heat had started pouring on our heads since Feb, our summer is now: April, May and part of June. So I decided to look up some of India’s upcoming summer flicks. I think of the past few years I’ve become really attached to our Indian Film Industry and genuinly interested in the movies that we churn out. I want them to succeed; I can’t belong to the sect of people who are too damn snobbish to watch an Indian film because they are too bloody prejudiced against it. “Yeah dude hindi movies suck man, whatever”. I have no problem in going for a Hindi movie, realise it sucks, and THEN criticise the shit out of it, and god knows we have enough of those. In the recent past ‘Race’, ‘Ghajini’ and ‘Drona’ have all proven to be big disasters. But it just makes the good ones all the more sweeter, and understand this, that I compare movies in India to movies from India, and not hollywood, because that’s what everyone does and then they proceed to become conceited and stuck up noone wants to watch them anymore.

Which is balls, but I digress.

The first bunch of films for the summer that I missed were apparently worth missing (I listen to critics, not idiots). Funnily enough many films this summer have a sci-fi element that has to do with either seeing the future or past! I think sci-fi in india is a long-freakin-overdue subject and personally I’m glad they’re taking a step into the fray.

13B: For most part this got trashed for being an all horror film about a television set that tells the main character what his future will be. Why? Because once again they managed to squeeze in two songs, in what people called a long, and ineffective movie. Interestingly though, foreign press have given it decent reviews.

Aa Dekhen Zara: Neil Nithin Mukesh and Bipasha Basu star in a movie where the lead character inherits a camera that takes pictures of the future! A daring attempt in storytelling by debut director Jehangir Surti, but apparently ultimately a loose, inconsistent screenplay wins the day. Again that's what others said.

The movie I am really looking forward to this summer is ‘8x10 Tasveer’. Stars Akshay Kumar (who IS a hardworking, awesome presence on screen) in another time-bending plot. I know, I know, the plots are all repetitive but here’s why this has the best chance out of the three: first of all the trailer (Apart from the 'I have a secret' bit) is lookin pretty A, man. Secondly, its directed by Nagesh Kukunoor who has previously made Hyderabad Blues, Dor and Iqbal; all of them being good movies with solid plots. Also to note that Kukunoor is also one of the few people who writes all his movies himself. It’s so rare when you can judge how good a movie will be, by the past credentials of its crew, because writers just seem to up and leave, never to be seen again. That’s the industry, I guess. And thirdly, man, its time we got a good sci-fi movie here; we DESERVE it. Yes there is a 'rap' song for the promos, Yes the plot is probably wafer-thin, and Yes Indian movies tend to over-exaggerate and and over-state the obvious in a lame kinda way, but know that I will be very liberal with the review for this movie, just because someone had the stones to actually make an interesting sci-fi paranormal flick, and if it is even half-decent; flaws, lame-ness and all, I will be satisfied.

Here’s the trailer:

Next week:
Incredible Love – The first movie in history to pair Stallone and Schwarzenneger will be…A Bollywood Rom-Com?!

P.S. Pray for this movie to be good! and for Michael Sullivan. Also I like this poster better.

Watchmen: A review or something like it...

2009-03-28T17:15:00.004+05:30

So, yes, weeks after it’s worldwide release, India finally has Watchmen playing in a theatre near you. Well not really, you, just anyone who lives near the handful of theatres where they’re showing it.
Tejas and I have been baffled at how ridiculous it is to launch easily the most anticipated film of the first quartile of the year three weeks late, when the same theatres screened Iron Man a day before the rest of the world. Credit to the censor board though, who saw fit to censor a bite and a penis, but not the fully nude and semi nude sex scenes.
Anyway, It came, and I watched it and before we get any deeper into this pseudo review, I need to establish a few things. Firstly, neither Kyra nor Tejas have seen the film yet so there won’t be any spoilers in this. The proper review will come in a few days when Tejas gets a chance to watch it. On this blog no one deserves the honor more.
Secondly, we could waffle on and on about how the film is good to the readers and bad to those who haven’t read it, or how the film is the greatest cinematic achievement since Speed Racer, but in this post here I’m not getting into that too much. I’ve read the novel and I fucking loved it. I saw the film and I fucking loved it. End of story.
Before going into the movie, I was suddenly struck by an appreciation for Alan Moore’s decision to withdraw his name from it. For those of you who have read any of his work, you’d understand that his style of writing and executing ideas is like no one else. His transitions between scenes, his visual puns, his symbolism and the amazing wit and weight attached to every letter and punctuation he uses, are so superbly sequenced, you can’t help but scratch your head wondering ‘Who the fuck IS this guy?’
So when some big Hollywood hot shot shows up saying ‘Hey let’s make this comic into a flick’ you can get the frustration. As a writer, Moore is like a director, a producer, a script writer and an assistant director. The construction of a graphic novel, then can be seen as the production of a movie. If someone showed up and changed all that up so they could squeeze it into a two and a half hour film which thousands will watch saying shit like ‘Dude this guy looks homo!’ or ‘Shit, what’s he saying yaar?’ (Please note: the morons who said these things were sitting right behind me) then I can appreciate Moore’s frustration at the adaptation.
Having said that, I must say, props to Zack Snyder and the amazing team who worked on this film. Not only have they stayed true to what Dave Gibbons felt should be depicted, but in certain key areas they’ve actually gone ahead and interpreted things in their own way, buffing up the cinematic experience. The kind of visual cleverness Moore is known for can’t really be translated on to screen, but Snyder’s gone right ahead and thrown in some really awesome camera movements and ideas himself.
I remember one of the criticisms leveled against Sam Dunne for Metal: A Headbanger’s Journey was that the whole thing was one sided and from a fan’s point of view. Several people have said the same thing about Snyder's adaptation, and in part they’re probably right, but you know what, I cannot imagine a greater homage to easily the best piece of fiction I’ve ever read.
Which brings me to my next point. After watching the film yesterday, I came home and Knocked Up a Seth Rogen film was on. As it ended, a Bob Dylan song started playing over the credits and I was suddenly hit with a huge appreciation of the impact of that one little Hobo singer. Is there anything or anyone Bob Dylan has not freaking touched?
If you’re going into the movie hoping it lives up to the graphic novel, or if you’re going in expecting it not to, then you should stop right there. After seeing this movie, the conflict between mediums that Moore is so critical of, has become hugely evident to me.
When you read the book, enjoy yourself. When you watch the film, enjoy yourself. When you’re done with it all, sit down in a dark corner wondering why your foundations are suddenly so shaky and remember this- Alan Moore, Dave Gibbons and (for some) Zack Snyder did this to you, and to quote Jay and Silent Bob- "Reco'naize!"

The rights to those tights...

2009-03-24T01:33:00.006+05:30

Ello all,

So I read this Empire blog's list of potential Captain Americas and it got me thinking about all the existing super hero actors and all of the ones in the apparent pipeline. (Is that the phrase? Pipeline...?) This post was originally a stream of conscious type thing, but Tejas nudged me towards a far detailed list.

1. Spiderman

Yeah, Tobey Maguire was quite shit wasn't he? He was good and everything, but he didn't have the awesome Peter Parker-ness. He was a great geek turned super hero, but I don't know, there's an awesome edginess to Peter Parker which just seemed so forced everytime Maguire's chubby cheeks yelled out 'Yeeeeaah' flying through the streets.

On the other hand, Emile Hirsch would, in my opinion be pretty awesome. He's the right build and after I saw him in 'Into the Wild' I am certain he could put in an awesome performance, being not just the geeky nerd with new powers, but also the really confused hormonal teenager dealing with morality issues way past his syllabus.

It's a tricky one, but I'm certain he'd pull off the punch lines and sylloliques far better than Tobey 'Oh look I had too much morphine and I'm slurring hope I can finish the line before I zzzzzz...' Maguire.

And by the way, the only real connection him and Kirsten Dunst had throughout the film was that they both had lazy eyes and gave you the sense you were interrupting an afternoon nap.

Others:

I know it's a long shot, but does anyone else think Michael J Fox would be totally perfect for the role if he were the same age he was for Back to the Future?

2. Black Widow

She's dark, she's sexy, she's russian and she wears a black leather body suit. Marvel's casting call read '20s, beautiful, speaks several languages fluently and is equally proficient in martial arts...' So who could fit the part? Apparently, Scarlett Johannson.

I have to admit, I like her as an actress, but I'm antsy about her for the part. They'd spoken to Emily Blunt, then Eliza Dushku, then apparently Hilary Swank, but it seems Johannson has signed the deal and is set to go ahead and do it. Chubby cheeks on Natasha Romanoff? Really, I don't quite see it. No doubt this was swayed by her role in the Black Dahlia, which just makes it all the more confusing.

Others:

Personally, I'm amazed that they didn't take someone thinner and taller. Emily Blunt being the first choice indicates they wanted that but I don't know, what about Megan fox, or Jessica Biel? Hell even Angelina Jolie would've given a darker sexier option. The only bright side is, of all the options Johannson is by far the best actress, very capable of surprising all of us. Let's hope she does.

Incidentally: Mickey freaking Rourke is going to play a combination of Whiplash and Crimson Dynamo! I'm psyched!

3. Wonder Woman

Ah, now here's a tough one. She needs to be tough, a bit voluptuous (Princess of a feminist nation can't be anorexic), preferably brunette, and more than anything else, she needs to be a power house. There's very few actresses I can think of, who can pull off a part like this, for the same reason no actor's ever really pulled off Superman (I'm not even getting into this one). To some extent, I have a weird feeling a younger Julia Roberts would've been pretty awesome for the part solely because of her performance as Erin Brokovich. I can't stress just how weird that feeling is.

There's a whole host of hot women who could do a job, but man, this is a feminist freaking icon. She is the alpha female. You need someone as intense as Christian Bale's Batman, and as awesome as Christopher Reeves' Superman. So I'm going to have to lean, kind of awkwardly, towards Carla Gugino. The reason I wouldn't stake too much on this one, is that Gugino's now 38 years old. Which seems like the right maturity for her, but phsyically, would she pull it off? Not so sure.

Apparently Joss Whedon's involvement in the script meant Sarah Michelle Gellar may be considered but I'm pretty certain that would never happen. Keri Russell did the voice for her in the animated feature but in person I'm sorry, I don't see that working out.

Others:

Wait for it...Angelina Jolie! Although I'm not too convinced it'd be the best plan. Otherwise I dunno, Maybe Penelope Cruz...accent might even work for her. I don't know though. Then there's Jennifer Connelly. She can act and she is pretty gorgeous. Only issue is, will anyone remember her from the first Hulk movie? Ahahahaha! But seriously, she's an accomplished actor with the right build. Is she too soft though?

4. Green Lantern

Okay, here's a fucking awesome character, with an awesome personality asset- will power. In the animated film they used the voice of David Boreanaz. Angel from Buffy for those don't recognise. Before we go further, we need to realise, that the Green Lantern is a huge, huge character, who comes with a whole universe behind him. Superman has Krypton which is fine and dandy, but the Green Lantern's roots are inextricably linked to the entire universe. It'll be hard to get it all on film, but that's the kind of weight that this character has, so regardless of whether they shoot scenes in outer galaxies, it's integral to the way the guy functions. Not to mention the sequels.

Mark Wahlberg's name's been touted and he could do it, but because of the humour quotient, maybe a Matt Damon could pull it off better? Both of them are old and this is a part that needs the guy to be as fit as possible.

They're starting shooting this September and rumour has it Ryan Gosling and Emile Hersch passed on the role, which leaves Anton Yelchin. Yeah, I've never heard of him either. Slightly more farcical rumours see Eric Dane (McDreamy) and Nathan Fillion (Captain Hammer from Dr. Horrible's sing-along blog) in the running.

Although, Chris Pine, the guy from Princess Diaries 2, could have set himself up for this after a superb performance in Smokin' Aces.

Others:

Now, I've thought this through, and I will lay it on gently, the man I feel could really do justice to Hal Jordan is...Guy Pearce! I just saw him play Houdini and man, he would not only have the grit and cool guy-ness to pull it off, he'd look pretty awesome in the suit. Not to mention his part in Memento. But then again he is 42, so how many films can he do? At the rate at which the first one's going can he do even one?

Incidentally, there were rumours they'd make a comedic version starring Jack Black!

5. Captain America

Aaron Eckhart. Please. With a cherry on top! He IS Captain America, admit it, you thought so too! But seriously, he's got the looks, the build, the acting ability to yell "Does the A on my head stand for FRANCE?!" Otherwise, there is that random dark horse, who unfortunately fits the bill quite perfectly, Will Smith. I have a weird feeling after his 'jumping- heart beat' scene from Hancock he could really do Steve Rogers justice.

Others:

Tom Cruise maybe, I don't know. Just shooting in the dark now. Maybe Brad Pitt. Neither are convincing though. This is a far better list though.

6. The Flash

Let's first clarify, the script that seems to have been accepted will feature both Wally AND Barry Allen. But then that script may not be the one. Or it might be. Noone seems to know. Unfortunately and ironically, the whole project is moving regressively slowly, and while Ryan Reynolds was initially touted for the part, his involvement with Marvel as Deadpool could rule him out. Which really blows, because he's so perfect for the part.

That leaves us with Neil Patrick Harris and Scott Porter. NPH is awesome and he gave the voice, but honestly, I don't think the character would be taken seriously enough if he played it. Scott Porter though, (Rex Racer from Speed Racer) does look like a seriously cool contender.

Others:

Ryan Phillipe perhaps, but I'd be really weary if it did happen. Adam Brody always makes me cringe but he might just do a decent job. He's popular too. Oooooh! Might as well just take Sean William Scott...!

7. Dr. Strange

This is going to sound bizarre, but every time I've seen Dr. Strange drawn, I've always, quite inexplicably, seen him as George Hamilton in a cape. The doctors are doing what they can to help me.

Seriously though, Richard Gere. Aahahahaha!

No really, I think hands down, no questions asked, no looking back- Hugo freaking Weaving. The fact that he's Brit just serves this up with a side dish of fries. Not for the accent, but for the kind of intensity his generation of brit actors bring to their roles.

On the other hand, Tejas insists on Liam Neeson, who, to be fair, is in there with a shout. My only concern is his accent.

Others:

Tim Robbins could really do justice to the part. He's an awesome actor and he's the right age. Bryce Johnson did the voice but honestly he's more likely to play The Flash. He's far too young.

8. Luke Cage

Barack Obama! Denzel Washington! Mike Tyson! Wait. That might work...I'm presently leaning towards Ving Rhames (Mission Impossible 1 and 2- played Luther the hacker...) but I don't know if he can give the character the depth he deserves. Tyrese Gibson seems to have been signed but it's all really fuzzy and honestly, I don't think he can make the character anything more than an angry black guy stereotype.

Others:

Will Smith? Or is that a bit unfair? I'm never sure with him. As an actor, he really can do pretty much everything. Jamie Foxx? Or is he too little? Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson maybe...

9. Black Panther

Chiwetel Ejiofor, Keira Knightley's husband from Love Actually, is apparently the front runner to play the Wakandan King, but I don't quite see it. I've not seen enough of him to judge him yet.

Seriously though, I find it hard to argue with Djimon Hounsou for the part. He's big, he's impassioned and he can pull off a regal air. He's a stunning actor as well. Seriously, I don't know who else would fit better. Let's just hope they actually make the film though.

Anyway, that's about all I could think of. Told you it'd be random and a bit aimless so there you go. I had two categories for Namor and Aquaman as well, but it's a bit too up in the air right now. Vincent Chase seems like the only real option and well, he's fictional so there you go. Here's a thought- Keanu Reeves for Namor?

If there's anyone you think would be better, or if there's any super hero I may have left out, please mention in the comments. I'd just like to say, that the current Marvel selection, barring Maguire (Sony's fault as much as anyone's really) has been quite impeccable. I had issues with Jessica Alba but then she wasn't a total disaster either.

Here's to some great adaptations, and some even better sequels.

And also, According to Jim- worst sitcom EVER!

The Top 10 Famous Bearded Men

2009-03-13T23:59:00.018+05:30

So,
The other day, it suddenly occurs to me, that there are a whole bunch of famous people who have beards. So I decided, why not have a go at making a list of the Top 10. This is what I came up with.
The list was decided using three factors- Significance of beard, Significance of person, and of course, whether or not I like the person. This list is NOT objective and is based on nothing really. I can only hope it'll spawn a series of comments and many more pointless Top 10s on the blog.
Right then.

10. Mel Gibson
Here's a man who's been openly homophobic, anti- semitic and on many occasions- openly wasted. And how can you argue with the guy? He's William freaking Wallace!
The Aussie American has had his fair of controversies and bust ups, but then which Australian actor hasn't right? He just makes it into the list over Joaquin Phoenix because honestly, I don't think I've seen a harder fucker.
Top Quote: "I'll apologise when hell freezes over. They can fuck off!" when asked to apologise to GLAAD for homophobic comments.
9. Socrates

Now I should clarify, the next three on the list probably belong higher on an objective list, but this isn't an objective list and if you've been dead for over 50 years and it was 'cool' to be the bearded guy in your time, then you're not getting much higher than this. Now, the real Socrates is still a mystery because back then people didn't feel the need to write shit down. Socratic irony anyone? Anyway based on Plato's notes, this man was pretty fucking intense. Not only did he teach one of the greatest men the world ever got (Plato) he also developed the most fundamental of ideas- logic. I don't care how long your beard is, you impact epistemology and you're on the list!
Top Quote: "I know that I know nothing." Do. Not. Mess.
8. Charles Darwin
So there's all these people completely convinced the human race and everything around it just popped up out of nowhere, like "Let there be light" meant "Hit the switches, bitches", and in comes our good friend Mr. Charlie Darwin saying "'Ang on a bit! That don't sound right..."
The theory of evolution! The idea that we all evolved from single celled organisms and of course my all time favorite- survival of the fittest- all came from this man and his beard. There was never any doubt he'd make it.
Top quote: "I think." written on top of his first diagram of 'The evolutionary tree.'

7. Che Guevara

I must point out how unbearably painful it is for me to allow this fucker on the list. I used to believe. I used to look upto him. But then I found out the truth. Humberto Fontova's chilling depiction of the real Che shook me to my core and like a pain stricken ex lover I hate the fucker.

The only reason he makes it here, is because he murdered thousands, was a dreadful strategist, a sexist, racist bigot and was generally a real fuck head, but somehow got millions of people to not only love him and wear T shirts of him, but even get him tattooed on them. Now that's what I call Marketting!

Top Quote: "Those who kill their own children and discriminate daily against them because of the color of their skin; those who let the murderers of blacks remain free, protecting them, and furthermore punishing the black population because they demand their legitimate rights as free men — how can those who do this consider themselves guardians of freedom?" Of course it never stopped him from mass executions and racist comments. Asshole.

6. Karl Marx

Of course. I can't say I agree with or even like most of what he proposed but the fact remains, capitalism will never have a sterner critic. As long as there are economies there will be a tiny group of Marxists screaming 'What about the little people?' except they won't be squeaky and pouting, they'll be loud and possibly armed. Hm.

When everyone was sure they could go about saying the administration was right and nobody'd argue, up came young Karl saying 'Ah! Then I'll be the Left!" Always listen to the man in the beard...

Top Quote: "The philosophers have only interpreted the world in various ways- the point is to change it" BUUURRN!

5. Willie Nelson

I know a lot of music lovers and most of them hate country music. But then I'll ask them about Willie Nelson and the usual reaction is to the effect of 'well OBVIOUSLY, I like him but otherwise it's shit...'
Whether or not that statement is true, Willie Nelson has inspired and moved millions with some of the most beautiful love songs and some of the smoothest pickings of his acoustic guitar 'Trigger'.
Top Quote: "I think people need to be educated to the fact that marijuana is not a drug. Marijuana is an herb and a flower. God put it here. If He put it here and He wants it to grow, what gives the government the right to say that God is wrong?" So true. So very true.

4. Steven Speilberg
Horror. Comedy. Thriller. Action. Futuristic/Fantasy. Romance. There is NOTHING this man has not done, and there is nothing he's done without his beard. 45 years of directing, producing and occasionally acting in films. The way he has adapted and grown year in and year out to create some of the greatest films of all time, right from Schindler's list to Jaws, is nothing short of inspiring. Is there any movie watcher who doesn't rate atleast one Speilberg film as one of his/her all time favorites?
Top Quote: "All of us every single year, we're a different person. I don't think we're the same person all our lives."
3. ZZ Top

For the first time on the list I think the beard tipped the scales. Well, in this case it's beardS.
Arguably the Sultans of 'Cool', the Blues trio have provided millions with some of the coolest guitar riffs and blues howls. With some killer innuendo and the wind in their hair, I don't think I've seen many cooler sites than these guys rocking out at the Crossroads festival. Their selection may be influenced by the fact that La Grange is currently my wake up music but whatever. But with their signature guitars and signature wheels, there is very little you can take away from these guys.
Top Quote: “We've been coming out with you for a long time, ... And it's the same three guys playing the same three chords right here.” Got to love self deprecation!
2. Chuck Norris
He CAN eat just one Lay's chip. He doesn't read- he stares down books and they tell him all. His tears cure cancer- but he never cries. There's no life on Mars- for He has been there.
He sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, he roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The boogeyman looks under his bed for Chuck Norris. He wears no watch- he DECIDES time. He can kill two stones with one bird. He's 1/8th Cherokee- this has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Indian.
There are no lesbians- only those who have not seen Chuck Norris.
Understand?
Top Quote: "Say Please..." when God said 'Let there be Light.'
1. Alan Moore
The anarchist writer who wrote some of the greatest graphic novels including Watchmen, V for Vendetta and The Killing Joke, he is, to me, the only person to fully utilise the medium of graphic novels. The often volatile author who dropped out of school at 17 for selling LSD, is known for his hatred of film adaptations of comics. He tops the list because, not only is he one of the most immense personalities in the world with one of the most amazing minds, he also has in my opinion the most awesome defence of his beard- "the laziness that has enabled my beard to get to this length is not a habit that I'm going to shake now."
Top Quote: "To paint comic books as childish and illiterate is lazy. A lot of comic books are very literate - unlike most films."

And with that we come to the end. I do hope I haven't pissed anyone off with the list. Inputs are definitely welcome, please chip in with other nominees.
I must go now. Chuck Norris is here and he's pissed he's only second on the list. It's been nice knowing you all. Farewell.
P.S. Someone warn Alan Moore, he has about 3 minutes before Chuck Norris flies down to England to dropkick his ass.

Liking the Algebra

2009-03-11T13:14:00.003+05:30

While I spent most of high school trying to pass the wretched subject, The Algebra of Infinite Justice by Arundhati Roy was a book I’d been looking for over a year. It’s sad that only her fictional The God of Small Things will haunt shelves, while most of India is ignorant to the fact that this lyrical author is one of the greatest political revolutionaries we have today. And no, I’m sorry. Im sure Salman Rushdie is a wonderful writer, but minus Midnight’s Children, the man is the greatest alternative to sleeping pills. So, in my book, while he might have a brilliantly heightened political opinion, it isn’t one I can wade through.

Arundhati Roy has conversations with her readers. You forget you’re holding a moderately heavy paperback and listen and converse with a writer who really knows her politics. A student of architecture, Roy’s words have a beautiful symmetry. Roy took the best possible thing from her prestigious Booker: supreme confidence to write whatever she damn well pleases. Of course, Im sure the money and autographs didn’t hurt, but confidence and a sense of self can take you to pinnacles of risk and help you survive. Her scathing poetry rips America’s mission of “Infinite Justice” to shreds – a mission where the most powerful country in the world is slowly and steadily transforming the world’s poorest into dust. If that isn’t infinite justice, what is?

However, someone in the Pentagon must have felt some misgivings. “This doesn’t sound right”, he must have thought. “Where’s the justice in this whole operation?”, he must have thought. Sadly, he didn’t think any of these things, for the operation was renamed “Enduring Freedom”. Basically, as Roy points out, the US has put these two words together without the slightest awareness of the human effort of struggle. In a reality far from US cruelty, “Enduring Freedom” actually means that the Afghanistan population is enduring what the White House and the Pentagon call freedom. How infinitely just, no?

Arundhati Roy doesn’t say “we should do so and so”. She says. “this is how it is, this is how I feel, now you have facts and an opinion. Come up with your own opinion and do what is right”. She makes her readers face intolerance and make sense of global confusion. She makes them understand what it means to be completely alive and fully awake in the world, and “getting close to and listening to those for whom this world has become intolerable”.

A year ago, one of my best friends told me what being fully alive meant. After reading Roy, I understood where she got it from. It’s the focal point of the whole book, and when put alongside the infinite justice of the US, the beauty of Roy makes you cringe. Roy puts forth that “the only dream worth having is to live while you’re alive and die when you’re dead”

Meaning?

“To love. To be love. To never forget your own insignificance. To never get used to the unspeakable violence and vulgar disparity of life around you. To seek joy in the saddest places. To pursue beauty to its lair. To never complicate what is simple or simplify what is complicated. To respect strength, never power. Above all, to watch. To try and understand. To never look away. And never, never to forget”

The FilmUnfair?

2009-03-11T09:19:00.008+05:30

Okay, I’ll admit, I ditched most of the show when it was broadcast to see Delhi-6 a second time (good movie), which left me to see only about 25 to 30 minutes of the show, but that was enough. I did check the list of ‘winners’ and by god…you think I’m gonna say I was shocked, but I wasn’t. Infact I sat there knowing exactly what was going to happen, and the expression on my face was ‘…Newman’.

Let’s get to the crux shall we?
The Filmfare awards are the Indian Film Industry’s most prestigious awards function, that brings together all of who’s who of India’s movie circuit minus Aamir Khan(He never shows up). The problem I have with these awards is actually quite simple, however its venomous clutch threatens to erode the quality of Indian cinema. To demonstrate lets take the example of the ‘Best Actor’ category. The Best Actor is a pretty heavy title if you think about it. That means that in a whole year of movies the actor has given arguably the greatest performance out of all the other actors that were in contention for the award.

Another issue that should be addressed is obviously the standard of movies that have been released and sent in for selection. Last year Kareena Kapoor won the best actress award not only for a decent performance in ‘Jab we met’ but also because of the lack of performances to nominate. Thus her receiving the award was almost a given, and get she did.

The Best Actor category (which should be renamed ‘Most Popular’ actor category) this year was once again dominated by the Khans, Hrithik Roshan and the one man I was rooting for so bad: Naseerudin Shah.

A Wednesday was probably the only politically relevant, AWESOME movie of last year, with excellent performances to match. From Anumpam Kher to Jimmy Shergill (in that one brilliant, gun-cocking moment of genius) and especially Naseerudin Shah, who played the regular everyman to such emotional perfection, the category was almost a no-brainer.

Hrithik Roshan won the award. He won for an average performance in a tediously long, below-average film. Jodhaa Akbar won the awards for best director and film as well.

So here’s what I dislike. The ‘jury’ nominates these sub-standard performances, and then they win because they’re big names, and not because they’re especially good. The hype builds and builds and everyone is finally satisfied that these movies ‘set the standard’ of quality movie making in India. THEY DO NOT. And then it starts all over again. The really awesome Indie films (I’ll blog about this later) get ignored and year after year run of the mill performances from Shah Rukh and the like are commended. I have nothing against Shah Rukh Khan and the other actors, and I guess it’s not really their fault that it happens, but they sure as shit do nothing about it and neither do the filmfare ‘jury’. Then in their guilt they give out ‘Special Jury Awards’ to deserving actors and movies, which unfortunately feel very forced. A Wednesday won almost nothing, with the saving grace of ‘Mumbai Meri Jaan’ winning a handful of critics’ awards. But, all in all, a pretty bad 25 to 30 minutes.

Things that were annoying:
1. Akshay Kumar got a nomination for his ‘work’ in 'Singh is Kinng’
2. When I googled the winners list for the show, Filmfare didn’t even show up in the first page, I had to get it from a website called something.rinkiss.com, which then promptly forwarded me to AdultFriendFinder. No thanks; I’m not looking for SEX IN BOMBAY TONIGHT.

Things I appreciated:
1. Shah Rukh and the Slumdog gang.
2. The precious times when Filmfare actually got it right.
3. Priyanka Chopra was smokin’ hot.